Just ran into co-worker who doesn't like me in the Ladies Room. I said, "Hi". She didn't respond. Again. Bitch. She's probably the one who's been peeing on the toilet seats. Some people truly do suck.

Okay. I'm starting to make a little progress on this new project and so I'm not feeling quite as freaked out as I was. Of course, that feeling will return shortly when I reach another stumbling block.

I was reading this on the train this morning and the woman across from me eyed my book (and me) with dismay the entire ride. It's just a novel, lighten up! I didn't stare at her, afterall, even though she was wearing orange and white horizontal stripes on top and green and white vertical stripes on the bottom. Sheesh!

It makes me mad that I can't even call my own father without having to talk to his new wife first. Apparently she speaks to her (married, 40 yr old) daughter something like 4 times a day (uh, hello? am I the only one who finds this incredibly strange?) and thus she practically sits on the phone. My father used to have a cell phone, but he's even handed that over to her. So unbelievably annoying.

Rant of the Day: Women (in my office) who PISS on the toilet seat in the Ladies Room -- GAAAARRRGGGGGHHH!!!! I mean, what kind of person does this???

I hate the start of a new project. Before I know what I'm doing, when I'm in the initial stages of trying to figure stuff out. I always feel borderline stupid with a slight underlying feeling of panic that I'll never be able to do it.

so hungry... must have lunch...

A little drama at the train station this morning to entertain everyone waiting (train was late, of course, it was raining afterall). Guy pulls into the little parking lot across the way (other side of the tracks). The only spot left is in a completely flooded part of the lot. Not only is it flooded, but this area of the lot is not paved, so that corner is really knee-deep in unimaginable gunk. Guy is desperate, so he backs his car into the spot. Water and gunk reach to the top of his wheels, almost to his door. Opens his door and angles himself out, one foot on the running board of the jeep next to him, one foot still inside his car. Pulls his briefcase and umbrella out of the car, holds in one hand, pulls the other foot out and puts it on the running board of the jeep. Now he is at a strange angle, with his legs on the car next to him, while his upper-body leans agains his car. He realizes that he can't do this while holding his briefcase and umbrella, so those go on the roof of his car and he then tries to close his car door. Opps, his suit jacket is in the way, door closes on it. He then repositions himself, bracing his body so that his hands are on the roof of his car, legs still braced on the running board of the jeep. Manages to close the car door. Now he is still angled above the knee deep gunk, his only option (other than getting incredibly wet and dirty) is to somehow get to the back of his car, crawl over it and reach the pavement of the train platform across the way. At some point, the car alarm on the jeep goes off. Perfect. He manages to do some kind of crab walk, one leg on the jeep, one leg on his car, dragging briefcase and umbrella behind him. Gets to the back, scrabbles back over to the jeep and jumps to the platform. Everyone across the tracks on my platform burst into applause. The guy then looked up and saw us all watching and kind of blushed and waved. It was highly entertaining. I wonder what will happen tonight when he has to get back in the car? Particularly if we have more rain.

Damn. Lost the Lottery again! Guess I'd better stop shopping online for an Upper Westside apartment. So disappointed.

Today was surprisingly and horribly hot. I thought that it was supposed to be a lot cooler by today, but it sure didn't turn out that way. I had hopes of a nice, long walk/run combination in the park, but a walk of a couple of blocks to do some errands killed that notion. I am just hopeless in this kind of heat (the humidity is extremely high -- which really makes it unbearable for me). Instead I opted for some house-cleaning, which while not very exciting, makes me feel like I accomplished something today. Also, I feel a little more peaceful. Clutter and dis-organization stresses me out (which can explain why I am usually stressed out). Anyway, things are clean and put away. For now. AND the cable guy came! I spent some time queuing up recordings of various TLC programs I never seem to be able to catch, as well as some day-time stuff like Dr. Phil and Oprah, etc. (not sure how much of the Dr. Phil and Oprah I'll end up watching, but this way I have the option.) I'm so pathetic.

I somehow made it through the Friday workday without perishing. Watched the Two Towers last night and am now waiting for the cable guy to come. Excellent.

I hate my upstairs neighbors. Well, I suppose I shouldn't say hate, but my resentment is growing by the week. They have a young child (like a year and a few months old) who has recently progressed to running. Around the apartment. ALL the time. And the thing of it is, these people. Have. No. Rugs. (or carpeting). This of course is in addition to the tendancy to drop hard objects (I'm guessing blocks) on the floor repeatedly. Not to mention the parents' habit of stomping around, dragging furniture and god knows what else. There are two adults and a child up there. In. A. Studio. Apartment! They are driving me insane.

I had really hoped that they would go away for this weekend, but no such luck.

GAD! Yet another interminable friday afternoon desperately waiting for 5 o'clock. Will this day ever end? I think all other departments have left at this point. Sucks to be us.

Why do I have to look at this everytime I go to Yahoo or MSN or anywhere else today? I mean, I. Really. Don't. Care.

On the cusp of a holiday weekend and everyone is leaving early (flush with eager plans for a fun-packed weekend, no doubt) and here I sit stuck next to my phone because of a system problem. My manager (who is home) has to keep calling me as we try to fix this thing. Ergk! Just an ordinary, crappy day for me.

OMG. I was just in the Ladies Room and someone was in one of the stalls lighting matches -- too funny.

I'm so very, very happy that it's Friday AND that this is a 3-day weekend. woo! I don't even care that I have absolutely zero plans. Oh, well I do get to feed Carolina & Janos's wacko cat (they're going away for the weekend). I guess that's something.

Damn I've blogged a lot these last couple of days.

I experienced a new cell phone annoyance today. I've noticed this trend of using famous classical musical pieces in lieu of a phone ring. As irritating and borderline appalling as this is, the irritation factor reached a new high today when someone on my train ride home had their phone ring set to a polka tune! I mean, where is it going to end???

Something else noticed on my ride home this evening. Two people sitting across from me. One is riding to Forest Hills, which is about a 6 mile ride. The other is riding to West Hampton which is about a 100 mile ride. Forest Hills boy is charged $9 for the trip. West Hamptons boy $22. Is this the New Math? Or am I really that bad at word problems?

Well, I think I've finally pretty much finished my application. The Project Manager did another review today and he seemed pretty pleased with how quickly I have been able to incorporate his changes and suggestions and also had some nice compliments about the way I handled some of the functionality, appearance, help, etc. So this afternoon I was able to add it to the application "tree" so that it can be presented to the users at our status meeting next week. At last some of my work will be implemented. This has been a long process and there is still lots of work to do (I should get another related assignment either tomorrow or Tuesday). Our Director wants this to be fully-functional and ready for rollout by January 1. Sounds like it is a long time away, but it really is not, in the World of Software anyway.

Rant of the Day: The person who sits in the (open-air) cubicle behind me who is eating extremely strong-smelling Indian food! ARGH!!! This is just wrong on so many levels.

Is it bad that I gossip about my friends in my blog? Email me and let me know what you think about it. Or comment ("Shout Out")

We heard recently that there are not going to be any raises here. For the third year in a row. Bastards. (I need to get out of NYC, it's too expensive here)

Julia commented (in response to a blog from yesterday):

|Ohhh! Keep us posted on this one. I love juicy gossip. Especially if I can meet them one day! LOL! Deb, the next time we come to NYC, you, Steven and Rose, me and Joe, are gonna meet Carolina and Michelle. That way, I can know you is dating whom, etc. It would be better to meet the married boyfriend, too!


Posted By: Julia 8/28/2003 7:44:48 AM|

My response:

NAH! The married BF is relatively anti-social (remind you of "someone's" ex we used to know?). She used to bring him out when our group used to do happy hours on Fridays and I don't think he has ever said two words to me. Total non-personality on that one. But never-fear, I'm sure I will have plenty of future gossip as Michelle will be moving into my apartment building in the next month or two. She is buying Carolina & Janos's apartment. They are moving around the corner to a bigger place (they just had a baby).

Woo! I just ordered the Time Warner Cable's equivalent of TiVo -- so excited! An additional $6 something a month, but I don't have to buy a $300 piece of electronics. They're installing it on Saturday. I am such a TV freak.

How is it possible that today is only Wednesday??? I mean, really?

Went to lunch with Carolina today. Had wrap sandwiches and gossiped about our friend Michelle who is "secretly" back together with her old boyfriend (who is still married btw). Now I want some chocolate.

I was trying to figure out why my arms are sore today, and then I remembered that I did upper-body weights before Spinning class last night. Duh.

Chrissy is complaining about how it is supposed to rain all weekend, spoiling her Hamptons plans. Ah, boo. At least the weather will make no difference at all to me as I plan to loaf and watch movies all weekend -- most notably, "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers", so incredibly psyched for that. I just hope that I get it by then (it's on it's way from BestBuy).

Nice and empty train this morning (AND it was actually a minute or two early). There is lots of space, I grab a completely empty 3-seater and sit next to the window for a change. Wouldn't you know it, this COW gets on at Forest Hills and wants to squeeze into my 3-seater with me (and someone else she's with). I said NFW (mumbled something about being claustrophobic) and got up and found another seat. I'm so pissed. I hate being squeezed into a 3-seater in the best of circumstances (I usually avoid them at all costs on the trains going home, but my morning train is empty enough that you usually only have to share with one other person), but this woman was huge. I mean, have a little decency about where you try to squeeze your ass -- argh!

OMG! They totally filmed part of Queer Eye at the Pottery Barn where I used to work! (literally, the PB at Lincoln Center, Manhattan) Just had a scary retail flashback, I may need a moment...

Made it to Spinning somehow and it was hard! Maybe because I haven't spun in a couple of weeks and the spinning I did on vacation was easier than the classes I get at the NYSC. Made it through somehow and then went for a couple of beers with Ken & Ellen. They leave for vacation tomorrow. Again. They haven't even had time to unpack from their last trip. Bastards.

ooooo, time for Queer Eye...

Okay, I've just reserved a spot in tonight's Spinning Class. Now I have to go.

I had horrible nightmares about tornados last night. Again. This is a recurring theme for me, but I hadn't had one in a while. Of course, I made the mistake over the weekend of watching a documentary on tornados, so that could have been a contributing factor to last night's bad dreams (ya think?). I should know better. This morning I still have a slightly suppressed feeling of being inconsolably frightened. I really should have known better than to watch that movie. I'll never learn.

Rather than just coming home and sitting like a lump watching Oprah or Seinfeld repeats or something, after having turned down the invitation to the USO, I decided to take Lola to the Park for a walk. It's supposed to get very hot and humid again later this week (big surprise) so I figured it was best to take advantage of the nice weather (not to mention the longer days) while we could. On the way out the door I ran into Carolina on her way down to the train to meet her mother. I decided to walk with her there before moving on to the park. Odd decision as her mother usually scares the bejesus out of me. But once she showed, I didn't stick around long enough for her to latch on and give me any unsolicited, er, advice.

After that quick encounter, we were on to the Park. Putting a damper on our little outing is the fact that there have been a few rapes in this area lately. A couple in the Park. This is so despicable and makes me so mad that I just can't even talk about it. So Lola and I stuck to the main drive of the park, staying away from the bridle trails, which are our favorite. Still it was a nice enough walk.

Well, today didn't end up so badly afterall. I think it is always the anticipation of Monday that is the worst. Kind of like going to the dentist or the gym. Or in my case, to my parents'. Actually, that last one IS always as bad as anticipated. But you get my drift. Anyway, I fixed the thing I broke on Friday, only to create new problems for myself, but at least I know what is causing the current problems -- it's just something I have to work through. Kinda like working out a puzzle. Friday's thing was a whole other kettle of fish.

So my friend Lares asked me to go with him (and another friend, Lou) to the US Open after work today. I had to say, "no thanks" as I am really not much of a tennis fan, nor am I a fan of going out on a Monday. Apparently there would have been free food and booze, and while that is tempting, I think I am better off heading straight for home. I suspect things could have gotten ugly had I had access to free beer after a woefully boring weekend. Speaking of woefully boring, I have become woefully boring myself. A few short years ago I would have jumped at a chance to do something different, tennis fan or not. Especially if it involved booze. I am just getting horribly old and dull.

Oh what fuckery. I fixed the problem with my application, only to break something else. Heh.

AAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHH! These florescent lights are sucking my will to live!!!!

I know it is a total cliche, but I am always so depressed on Mondays. This monday is no exception. The skies this morning were bleak to match my mood. And my program is still broken -- GAH!

It's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful day here in the NorthEast. Why can't Summer here always be like this? I think I feel Fall in the air -- yay.

Why is it that no matter how busy I am at work during the week, no matter how caught up in my job I get, that once Friday afternoon rolls around, I am sitting on the edge of my seat watching the clock like a kid two seconds before Summer Vacation? It never fails. It's not even like I have anything at all planned for this weekend. Just a lot of loafage, as usual. If I'm motivated, I may actually get around to finishing my unpacking from my trip.

ARGH! I was so happy with the progress I've been making on my project this week and now I've gone and broken something and I can't really figure out what. So annoyed. I wonder if it is best to just cut my losses and revisit this again on Monday. I'm so tired of looking at code and so desperate to fix this now that I'm liable to do further damage. Wish I could just say, 'I'm done for the week' and then go home. But no, we're treated like a bunch of kindergartners here, g-d forbid anyone leaves before 5 PM (or even at 5PM, for that matter) -- oh the horror.

Went with Carolina for a pedicure at lunch. We managed to get there just before the worst of the rush. As we walked in the door, there was Chrissy having both nails and toes done, so we had an old-fashioned girls' outing (haven't had one of those in a long time). As the groomer was finishing my toes, she said, "nice color!" I replied, "you always say that! Someday I'm going to walk in here and you'll have to say, 'really ugly color -- bleah!' " She just laughed at me.

Annoying chick on the train platform this morning. Stands practically on top of me, long, fake platinum hair, long, fake nails, tons of sickeningly sweet perfume. Walkman cranked up really loud, but she still manages to get on her cell phone and talk. Had she been smoking, the annoyance would have been complete. I saw this other guy too this morning. Wearing a really cheap, NYC Souvenir shirt. So cheap, that all the buildings dipicted in the drawn skyline where in totally the wrong places. Also wearing a really tacky souvenir hat to go with it, as well as a fanny pack. I wouldn't have mentioned this guy, only I saw him on the platform yesterday as well and he was wearing the exact same thing. Where do these people come from?

Sure was a slow email day today. Also, I didn't have internet access for a good portion of the day! It's all probably for the best as I was pretty busy and was able to get a lot done. However, I couldn't do any weblog browsing while I ate my lunch -- doh! Ran across the street hoping for a pedicure but the salon was already packed at 5 to 12 and there was a wait for pedicures -- GAH! I never wait for peds, I'll just come back another day. Oh well, at least there was no line at the salad place for a change.

Today was a somewhat important day for me at work. Not Earth-shatteringly important, but still significant as the project I've been working on for the past few months was being evaluated by the Project Leader. If found very lacking, this news would have quickly traveled back to my immediate boss as well as the Director of my department. I think a bad review of my work could have actually threatened my continued employment here. It certainly would have affected my future involvement with this project and others like it. Complicating my performance on this project is the fact that this involved developing a whole new set of programming skills, in addition to adhering to a methodology that I am completely unfamiliar with. Additionally, I've had a lot of side projects thrown my way during the course of my time working on this thing, which at best is distracting, but also changes my focus from time to time, interrupting the learning process, not to mention my effectiveness in making progress. Anyway, the evaluation of my work came back pretty positively, but also with a large list of things that need to be changed, added or fixed. I'm actually pretty happy for this list as it means I will be pretty busy for a while. Most importantly, I am ending this workday with a good amount of relief.

Last night for dinner I had a Sapporo beer and two Weight Watchers English Toffee Ice Cream Bars. Yeah, I'm single.

Why, oh why does the cleaning lady insist on wearing such cheap-ass, horrible perfume. And copious amounts of it? And why does she have to start with our department for that matter? When all the surrounding departments leave at the dot of 5 and would not have to be subjected to her wonderful choice in fragrance -- gah!

Oh. Good. Lord. I just realized that I forgot my bra for Spinning tonight. I'd say I could wear a regular one (opposed to the sports bra I was supposed to bring) but I'm not wearing one today. Naughty.

Ok, so the Blackout of 2003. Well, I wrote about the unannounced fire drill we had had at work on Thursday morning. Complete with dire warnings about planes flying into buildings (basically, we're on our own in such a case). Fast forward to 4:0whatever that afternoon. Both of my ears simultaneously pop, there is a slight electrical stutter and everything immediately goes dark. Also a bell on one of the emergency exits starts ringing. People mill around like what the f*? We wait for announcements, there are none forth-coming. I make a quick trip to the ladies room, only to discover that there are no emergency lights in there and thus it is pitch dark -- uh, no, too creepy, but thanks. Pack up my gear and see two friends, Chris and Bern headed for the stairs so I join them. We get about 3 flights down when I decide to go back for the running shoes I have stowed under my desk. I had a feeling there was a hike over the 59th Street Bridge in my future. Grab the shoes, bolt down the stairs again and past the stream of people, catching back up to Chris and Bern. Down the 27 stories. It wasn't so bad. I remember having to do this once or twice in our old building up the block -- that was a lot worse as the stairwells were a lot narrower.

We get out and there are 1,000s of people teeming all over the place. No one knew what to do and there was no way to really find out what was going on. Chris mentioned something about going to a bar, I made a half-hearted agreement, although, my instincts were telling me the best thing would be to start to move East and make for getting out of Manhattan. Something told me that this was not going to clear up quickly or easily. Besides, I only had $4 on me and Chris had none. She mentioned borrowing money from me if we could get to an ATM. Uh, yeah, you can borrow money, but ATMs run on electricity. Finally we go to the newstand in front of Penn Station where she borrows $60 from the news agent there. She's obviously a good customer (all those cigarettes and scratch-offs). I convince Chris that we need to get out of this neighborhood and that maybe we can talk a cab into taking us out of the City, maybe even to Kew Gardens. Yeah. Right. On our way up West 32nd Street, we run into Jeff, who also has to get out our way. He signs on with us and we're on our way. As luck would have it, Jeff has a radio walkman and so can listen from time-to-time to news updates.

At the top of the block, we stop at our first deli and Chris and I each buy a "tall-boy" beer. With a straw. We're both such a class act. From there it is a job negotiating the streets and the masses of people and trying to make headway. Along the way we try to flag down various cabs and private cars with no luck. All the cabs were out of service and taking no passengers. I still don't understand that at all. So we keep walking. By the time we make Second Avenue, the pedestrians have taken over the streets, as well as the sidewalks. Once we get to about East 36th or so, the vehicle traffic is for the most part gridlocked behind us anyway. At one point, I was on a slight hill in the middle of Second Avenue, and I turned around to look behind me and at the sea of bodies claiming the roadway as far as the eye could see, reminded me of running the NYC Marathon and seeing the mass of people on First Avenue. But more so.

By then, Chris and I had finished our second beer, so we needed a pit-stop. We walked into a bar where business was in full-swing and used the bathroom. While there, I also changed into the gym clothes I had in my backpack. It was so HOT that day and walking made it hotter, of course. No reason to be more uncomfortable than I had to be. Once in the gym clothes, I was all set. We bought more beer (I think Jeff was a little appalled) and continued on. At this point, Chris is pretty buzzed and so is freely flinging insults at the cars/cabs that aren't picking us up. We pass some bars where people are sitting outside, drinking beer and watching the parade go by. I express a wish that I still lived in Manhattan and could do the same. We get to the bridge and we are on the top level, walking on the roadway. The walkway is on the lower level, but there are more people than cars at this point and the walkers are moving faster than the cars are anyway, so it works. So weird to be walking up the curving rampways and to look down the canyons and just see people in the streets everywhere. The walk over the bridge is pretty hot, but I'm distracted by Jeff's gossip. His father is the owner and president of our company, so he knows a lot of stories. Chris is pretty drunk at this point and hurting as she is wearing sandals with heels. As we wind down the bridge ramp on the Queens side, we notice a cab company under the bridge. When we hit the street we head in that direction thinking that we can maybe find a cab willing to take us somewhere. Somewhere around here Chris announces that she has to pee again and that she's just going to squat inbetween two parked cars. Uh okay. I think Jeff is even more appalled and I get roped into "blocking" her. Blocking her???? you could have fit a whole other car inbetween the two cars she chose and it is still broad daylight. She doesn't care and just drops trow. I attempt to "block" while trying to avoid being peed on. Oiy.

After the peeing incident, we notice a couple getting into a parked car, just up the street. Chris pulls down her skirt and runs up to them and manages to talk them into giving us all a ride. It's decided that Chris & I will get out in Forest Hills and that Jeff with go to Flushing. Chris still has to get home to Long Island from here and so, once in Forest Hills, we try to call her husband from a payphone, but there is no answer. We don't know what to do at this point, so we get another beer at another deli. I know I can walk home from here (it's only about two miles), but I'm worried about Chris. We walk up the LIRR platform and talk to some people who are waiting there. We come back down and talk to a LIRR conductor who is as stranded as everyone else and just as clueless. We go back to the deli and buy more beer (at this point, not to drink, but just in case there is no beer to be had later -- priorities). Chris finally decides that she's going to go wait on the platform with the other people. I try to talk her into coming home with me, but she wants to wait. (It turns out that she was able to get a ride with someone to Long Island about an hour or so later, so it wasn't so bad).

I walked home via Queens Blvd, because at this point it's finally starting to get dark and I know there will be more light there. I pass various business selling their products on the street. An Asian restaurant trying to unload some sushi, a liquor store who has mixed up some shots and is selling them for $1. I get home to discover a party going on in front of my building and in the backyard. I talk for a couple of minutes to Derek (a neighbor) and then go upstairs for a cold shower. I take Lola out and join the party in the back for a while. People are BBQing whatever was in their refridgerators. I go back upstairs and read by candlelight for awhile. And then I lay on the bed and read by flashlight. At around 10:30 PM or so, Carolina and Janos knock on my door because they were worried about Lola, not knowing if I had made it home. It turns out my dog walker had also shown up shortly after I had arrived home. Derek had let her know I had made it. It's nice to know that people will remember Lola though, should something happen. Anyway. Carolina and Janos talk me into rejoining the party out back, which is in full-swing. It's pitch-dark, so I don't mind going down in just a camisole top (and shorts), I know no one can really see me very well anyway. We hang out out back for awhile talking and drinking (this time vodka). It was actually kind of fun.

I woke up the next morning expecting the power to be restored, but no such luck. Later in the morning I walk with Carolina and Janos to the Park and then to Forest Hills where the power is ON. Bastards. We spend a good part of the day walking around FH and the Gardens and then finally back to Kew Gardens to discover that the power is STILL not on. We hear rumors that all surrounding neighborhoods are back on, just not us. I have visions of being that neighborhood you hear about, that still has no power days later, after the rest of the City is fully-functional. I become a little bitter about it. By now I'm very hot and missing my air-conditioner, not to mention cable TV. Stalk home, am fishing for ice for Lola out of the half-melted stuff that is left in my freezer when the power, finally, kicks back on. Around 3:30 or so PM (almost 24 hours later). Turns out we weren't even the last to get it after all, so my bitterness has subsided.

That night my apartment building has a great party in the back where everyone brings all their defrosted meat from their freezers. People are contributing filet minon, etc. which I happily enjoy. I contribute chicken tenders and garden burgers. I think I got the better end of the deal.

We had a fire drill this morning at work. The fire official who addressed us capped off his little speech with the caveat that all he had just told us was contingency for a fire orginating within the building. He then went on to say that it does not cover a circumstance where, say, a plane flies into the building. I think he illustrated this scenario by describing how you might hear a loud "boom" and feel the building shake. I guess there is no contingency for the plane scenario. Great, thanks, I feel better about working in the heart of Manahattan now.

Actually, I guess that's not really fair. It hasn't been that bad of a day, yesterday was A LOT worse. Trust me. It's just that vacation is over and it's back to dull normal. Still would like to win Lotto though.

BLUH, this. Must. Be. The. Dullest. Day. Ever. Not really, it just seems like it. Oh why can't I just win Lotto?

So there is this guy I see at my train station every morning. Nice looking, always very nicely dressed in either a great suit, or attractive and stylish casual clothes. He waits for the train every morning near where I wait. So I've had a chance to notice this, morning after morning he is standing there cracking gum like a 9-year-old. Every single morning. It seems so incongruous to the rest of his image. I mean, he's not just chewing gum, but cracking it. Loudly. I just don't get it. I wonder if he does this all day long?

I really hate the first few days back at work after vacation. It takes me so long to figure out what I'm doing (and why all of this BS is important) and the days seem so long and I feel so, well, trapped. Guess I had better spin tonight -- so not in the mood -- gah!

Back to our regularly-scheduled blogging program. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I would be on vacation from August 1st - August 11th, oh well. If I have a chance, I'll maybe blog about it. Until then:

Old men in Speedo bathing-suits... WHY????????

Rant of the Day: People who cut in line.

Today you get two for the price of one:

Rant of the Day: People who insist on standing RIGHT behind you when you're at the ATM. Give me some freaking space for cripes sake! SHEESH!

just what is a cripe anyway?

My father got married on July 13th (over two weeks ago) and I haven't heard from him since then. At all. So weird. I sent him an email the other day, but nothing.

Got a pedicure on my lunch hour for my vacation and now I can't stop admiring the color. Helps to distract me from the stress.

So. Stressed. Out. Leaving for vacation on Thursday night and have just been slammed with two big, priority projects. In addition the other "priority" project I'm already working on. Not to mention all the non-work stuff I have to get done by Thursday night. ARRRGHHH! Why does this always happen to be me right before a vacation???

There was a line out the door at my salad place today -- GUH! Couldn't fathom waiting on it, so I reluctantly queued up at another salad place. I didn't have very high hopes as my regular place is usually The Best (thus, the line out the door), but the salad I came away with ended up being pretty good after all. They also chopped it up, which I thought was a nice touch. I should have gone with the field greens though, the default was romaine and I didn't bother to correct her.

I have one thing to say: Lance Armstrong !!!! He's totally amazing!

It's a very unsettling feeling knowing that someone doesn't like you, and for no good reason. There is this woman at work who hates me, I am not too thrilled with her either (bad vibes, probably because I can sense how she feels about me) but I make a point of saying hello to her, or engaging in casual chit-chat, complimenting what she's wearing, etc. because I just can't stand to be uncomfortable in my work environment. But she actively looks the other way when I talk to her her! I mean, what kind of shit is that? And I wouldn't mind so much (well, I would be hurt, but maybe not as freaked out) except that she is the type to whisper behind my back. It's so high school. You don't have to like me, but be F*cking civil. Ahhhh, politics. Anyone know of a good job where I can work from home? Between this crap and the LIRR, I will be ready for the looney bin soon.

Friday Night: Party at P&L's..Way too many beers and fruity margarita-type concoctions. Someone brought this girl along whom I've met before, "Bee" is almost a cartoon caricature of a person, like she could be pretty if the right make-over came her way. Kind of a "She's All That" Girl before the "All that". Funny thing about teenage movies and transformations of this kind. They never make over the "fat" girl, or any girl who is truly, hopelessly ugly, only the girl who would completely blow all the prom-skanks away, if she only lost the glasses, had the right dress, used some cosmetics, had the right boy interested in her, and the right music as background (which you can always totally see through anyway). You never really see this happen in real life, but the weird thing is, you can almost see that possibility in "Bee". Usually all you can see is this impossible person who will never overcome her awkwardness and ugliness, but she is just a high-light job and contact-lens project away from gorgeous. I don't know why I wanted to write about this, but every time I've met her, I think that.

Anyhoo... Stayed at the party until 3:2something when Julian was leaving. He had checked the train schedule to see what time his train back to Manhattan was, he said 3:42, so we had plenty of time. So we're walking and about half-way there he starts to freak, thinking he's going to miss his train. I look at my watch and see that we have oodles of time to make a 3:42 (AM) train, but he's freaking and wants to run. Okay so we run. I'm in my Tevas, but okay. So there we are, running in the middle of the street and after a few blocks he decides he doesn't want to run anymore, which really bummed me out because I was actually enjoying the run. First run I've enjoyed in weeks. Which is strange, considering it was about 95* and I was running in sandals. Not to mention the quantities of beer and margaritas I had consumed at the party (hmmmm, maybe we have something here). So anyway, I ran a little farther along and then stopped and waited for Julian to catch up. We got to the train station, plenty early for the train, and so stood there talking for a good while. When I happened to glance at my watch again, I noticed that we were edging up on 4:00 AM and there was no sign of a train! Julian said not to worry and that I should just go on home. I left (reluctantly), but got to my apartment (up the block), got Lola the Pug, who needed to go out anyway, and walked back to the station with her. When we got there, we found Julian, lying on the platform like he is bunkered in for a long wait. I said, Julian! what are you doing? you can't just lie here! So I went and looked at the train schedule on the side of the station and saw that the train he had missed had been scheduled for 3:30 AM, I have no idea where he got 3:42, but he screwed it up somehow. The next train wasn't until 6:30 -- GAH! I finally convinced him that he wasn't going to lie there on the platform and wait for 3 hours, and said that Lola and I would walk him to the subway, a few blocks away (I mean, it's not like we were in Montauk or something -- sheesh!) As we started to walk, we saw a yellow cab dropping someone off and J managed to grab it. Turns out the cab was headed back to Manhattan. Phew! My friends are crazy.

Oh. Holy. Crap. Am I having the shittiest day ever.

SET SARCASM = ON

Sometimes it's wonderful to be a woman.

While running on the treadmill and working out on the elliptical machine in the basement this evening, it occured to me that this is so hard tonight (as was my Spinning Class last night) because I am having a significant bout of PMS. That could also explain the Haagen Dazs chocolate ice cream I had earlier (relax, it was a 4 oz portion). Perhaps this is all too much information.

Of course the soul-sucking humidity is not helping things either.

Last night my Spinning instructor (Katie) announced that her partner had had a baby the week before (a boy). When questioned what they named him, she said, "Gaylon". You just can't make this stuff up.

Julia is obsessed with Krispy Kreme Donuts. I don't get it.

Managed to Spin tonight even though I knew E & K weren't going to be making it. Was it ever hard, and Tuesday is supposed to be my easier night. I left the gym to torrential rain, so for once I wasn't the only soaking wet person on the train (nobody needs to know that my wetness was due to sweat -- although, I imagine they could probably tell as I was still in my workout clothes).

I also managed a truncated upper-body weights workout (truncated because of the afore mentioned unfortunate morning commute that got me to work a half an hour or so late). Which leads me to the...

Rant of the Day: People who hang out on the weights machine when they're not working out. This makes me crazy. I have a short window in which to try and fit everything in, some guy (and, let's face it, it's usually a guy) sitting there staring off in to space or, worse, bullshitting with his buddy (or, at my gym, cruising for guys) really interferes with my workout. I once saw a guy reading a book (and not a weight-lifting-how-to variety of book either) while sitting on various weights machines in between his sets. Really.

Have you ever put on chapstick only to realize that you're already wearing lipstick? It's not a pretty sight.

The LIRR strikes again. I arrived to the train station at my usual time this morning, only to wait and wait and finally (after about 20 minutes) realize that something was wrong. A number of trains blew through the station, dramatically blowing horns, but none came close to even slowing down. In the meantime, the platform became more crowded with restless commuters. I could feel my irritation and stress levels rising to a point where I couldn't just stand there anymore and so I went in search of my friend Paul, who was happily reading a book and seemingly not minding the delay. After I ranted to him about it for a few minutes, he just looked at me, shrugged and told me to get over it, there is nothing I can do about it anyway. Am I the only person who is driven insane by this lack of service? We finally got on the next scheduled train, half an hour after the one we were waiting for was supposed to arrive. No seats of course (but there WAS air-conditioning). No explanations or apologies about the train that didn't show. Bastards.

I think Paul was happy to be rid of me once we reached Penn Station.

After a crappy and restless night sleep I awoke to find myself diagonally draped across the bed with my legs hanging off the side. Lola the Pug was curled into a little bundle in the exact center of the bed, sleeping soundly. Just who is the dog in this scenario anyway?

I am so depressed today. Woke up to high humidity and storms, it is supposed to storm until Friday. Such a beautiful weekend and I did nothing and I have no one to blame but myself. Sometimes my laziness just wins out. I almost wanted to cry coming in on the train this morning, so dreading the return to work. I need to find a good balance of activity and down-time on the weekends so that I can come back to work refreshed and ready jump back in. Too busy and I start the week exhausted. Not busy enough and I show up on Monday completely depressed (like today).

The later part of my day turned out a lot better than the start. I'm still annoyed at myself for doing nothing with my weekend, but I managed to put it enough behind me to make considerable progress on this project that had me stalled at the end of last week.

I am so BORED this weekend! A shame, since the weather is gorgeous for a change (don't even really need the air-conditioner). I need to go for a run. At the very least I should take Lola for a walk. Right now she is lying on the kitchen floor and staring at me (probably in disbelief over my incredible laziness).

I ran into a guy I used to date today. Boy, did he look horrible. slightly hunched over, balding, hair (what's left of it) gone all grey. He looked like an old man, I was rather startled. And actually, I think I saw him not too long ago too, and don't remember feeling so shocked. It's certainly been this year (he works for my company), which leads me to believe that much of it is a recent development. He's married now and his wife just had a baby (their first). Maybe married life doesn't agree with him. Anyway, it sure did make me feel old. I remember drinking beer with him at a bar in Manasquan on the Jersey Shore. Now he looks older than my father. Do I look that old??? I know that I've noticed a couple of grey hairs suddenly over the last year, but I still was carded at the grocery store the other day.

Oh and I forgot to mention that I now have the hiccups! ARGH!

Well, I managed to get to the gym and Spinning class.Thursday night is a harder class than Tuesday. There is always a point in this class where I don't know if I'm going to make it, but I always do. My weights workout was also hard as my muscles were still sore from Tuesday. After the gym K suggested we all go out for a beer, so we did (who am I to turn down a beer?) Took me forever to get home however. Have I mentioned that the LIRR sucks???

Suppose to spin tonight, but I'm so dog-tired I just don't know how I'm going to pull it off. I think I had a crappy night's sleep last night because I can barely keep my eyes open now. This day has gone so slowly too. A wonderfully brilliant day out there too and here I sit, stuck in this cube!

In an amazing development, I am not wearing any black today. Not one stitch, not even my shoes.

The LIRR SUCKS! Got on yet another unair-conditioned car this morning. That's the fourth one in a week. This is just unacceptable. Bastards.

I've had the opportunity to discover a T.V. show this Summer that I had previously not paid a lot of attention to. Thanks to repeats and all the reality crap hogging the airways these days, I find myself really searching for stuff to watch. The one staple has been, "That 70s Show" (Fox) I had seen it before, but having now managed to consistently catch a good number of episodes, I've really grown to appreciate the humor of this show. Check it out some time. Wednesdays at 8 PM (Fox) . Cracks me up.

I was just at the grocery store. Almost caved on the yogurt. Almost. Luckily, my principles won out. I did cave on the beer though. Yes, I know it's only Wednesday.

So there was an official-looking NYC truck and a crew marking up a piece of asphalt outside of my apartment about an hour ago. Now there are significant-looking red marks on the street. What do you want to bet they're going to start drilling? My guess is it starts tomorrow morning. Oh joy, the pleasures of city living.

Train Angst: I hate it when the person who sits next to you on the train right away starts to nod off. You spend the whole trip worrying that that head is going to end up on your shoulder.

Walking in NYC is a lot like driving is in other places. You become really irritated when the people in front of you are moving too slow. You try to pass people and duck in, while keeping an eye on oncoming traffic (people). Being cut-off by someone is the most annoying thing in the World. People who try to cut across the stream of traffic (crowds) take their lives in their hands. People in front of you who seem to not know where they are going is enough to drive you insane. In some ways walking in NYC is more stressful than driving because you can't rely on other walkers to follow basic rules of the road (or sidewalk).

Workout Note: Spinning tonight at the New York Sports Club. E joined me. I did an upper-body weights workout first. The instructor was a sub, so like in Junior High School, you never can be sure what you're going to get, but she was pretty good. So I spun. And sweated. I feel pleasantly fatigued now and happy I did it. Right now I'm satisfied to have two Spinning Classes per week on my schedule (Tuesdays & Thursdays), but I would eventually like to bump it up to three a week. Means I'll most likely have to start taking one on the weekend.

So my father got married on Sunday. In theory I'm very happy for him. My mother was sick for a number of years and he basically lived to take care of her during that time. I'm happy that he found happiness and is leading a fulfilling life. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that I was feeling pretty freaked out by all of this.

My mother passed away in January, 2002 and by March he was very actively dating. Dating multiple women at once. At the time, this was a little amusing when considering the complications of dating one woman in his condo complex, yet bringing other women home at other times. Also, asking from time to time one woman to watch his dog while he went out with another. That all changed, however, by the end of September. He met this woman and quickly became very serious. By January (I'm sure, not so coincidentually around the anniversary of my mother's death) they announced their engagement. We did this big family thing in New Mexico in May so that many of the various family members could meet and get to know each other. I came to the unsettling conclusion at that time that I really don't like her very much. Worse than that, I don't like HIM when he's with her. He turns into a different person. Oh I guess she's nice enough, too nice actually. But this overly-emotional, gushing affect really makes me uncomfortable. Making a big show, like she hasn't seen you in 10 years, when you just saw her the night before. My father is "darling this", "darling that". Every restuarant is THE BEST restaurant, THE BEST food, THE BEST hotel. She couldn't even wait until the food was served, it was THE BEST menu! I suppose if I end up spending any amount of time with her from here on in, I'll warm up to her. I just don't respond very well when people are forced on me, especially women. Anyway, so they married on Martha's Vineyard on Sunday. The odd thing is that no family were invited. They had some friends in attendance and that's it. I can't help but feel slighted.

Dog Walking Service:Someone has posted signs all over my neighborhood advertising an "Expert" dog walking service. I wonder what kind of certification/education/training is involved to become an "Expert" dog walker. Maybe I should consider a career change. I'm pretty good at walking dogs.

What is it with mullets anyway? I saw this middle-aged guy today with one. He had greying, brownish hair, very long in the back (like past his sholders), yet short and layery (complete with bangs) in the front. I don't get it.

I had this insane craving for chocolate milk this morning. It was truly bizarre. Had to stop at the corner store on my way to the train, my hands were practically shaking as I opened the bottle (like a junky, I was). And sucked it down right there on the street.

After a crappy night's sleep, I woke this morning to a loud and incessant bird outside my window. Like at 4 AM! Bird wouldn't shut up. It was noisier than all the garbarge trucks and street noise I endured when I lived on West 78th Street and Broadway in Manhattan, and that's saying A LOT. I mean, I'm all for nature, but geez.

Rant of the Day: People who do not look forward in an elevator. What are you looking at??? ARGH!

Rant of the Day: The LIRR (Long Island Railroad for you out-of-towners). They jacked up the fares over 25% recently because the MTA was crying poverty. Turns out they were cooking the books and had presented one set of books for public view, yet retained a whole other set of internal books. Once this was discovered, they were ordered to roll back the fare increase until the matter could be investigated further. They cried and screamed that a roll-back would cost them MILLIONS because they would need to retro-fit their equipment. Huh? Last time I looked, this was 2003, doesn't the MTA have their system computerized? What needs to be retro-fitted? All you have to do is change a program. Subway rides are now sold on metro cards, which is a paper ticket. I would think the computer program only needs to be adjusted to take out less (or more) of the value of the card per ride. Same thing with LIRR and MetroNorth train tickets. Additionally, did it cost them MILLIONS to adjust the "system" when the fares were rolled forward? If so, we never heard about that. So anyway, they were given a certain amount of time to roll back the prices and New Yorkers are still waiting.

In light of all this, I am paying about $130 a month to go eight miles. That would be bad enough, but going home at night, I have to be on my train 15 minutes early to ensure that I actually get a seat. And the seat I do end up in, invariably is duct-taped in some spot, basically assuring that I will end up with some gummy, sticky duct-tape glue on my butt. Add to all of this the fact that already this Summer I have been on trains with no air-conditioning no less than five times. Luckily, two of those days weren't particularly hot days, but the other three were. This morning was one of those unbearably hot mornings. The air was so oppressive you could almost cut it with a knife (this was pre-storm, that showed in the afternoon). No A/C. The train was also so crowded that I felt like I was riding the subway again. (I, of course, did not have a seat. At least I didn't end up with duct-tape glue on my butt.) For this our fares have gone up over 25%. It just makes me so mad because we have no recourse and no alternatives. Damn the MTA.

I'm sure I will rant about this subject again.

Sometime during the day, while I was slaving away in my little, putty-colored cubicle, a storm swept through, breaking the weather and cooling things down dramatically. This inspired me enough to run home after work and throw on my new running shoes for a jaunt in my local park. After a short debate with myself, I decided to bring Lola since the air had cooled so much and since she hasn't had much exercise lately. Well, the air was deceptively cool, but there was still enough humidity in the vicinity to contribute to an impressive sweat-fest. This was reason enough for me to take it easy (doesn't take much convincing with me). I ran about 2.5 to 3 miles. While running on the bridle paths, I came to resent the usual presence of a certain quality of (usually young) men, most idling around, or strolling slowly with seemingly no destination. Most possessing a certain blank or listless stare that tells you they are not interested in women, or anyone else who might be in the park for a traditional athletic pursuit. And while I don't feel particularly threatened by these men, I can't help but resent their creepy presence somewhat. Not so bad when they are walking on the foot paths, but somewhat annoying when they are sitting along the side of the path watching you go by. Regardless of this annoyance, I had a pleasant run, although, I found my new shoes a little disappointing. Seems the design of the shoe has changed a bit so that the fit is now a touch snug (my older shoes in this model, same size, actually fit somewhat big). I could have gone up a half-size. I think wearing thinner socks will do the trick, but still.

I love it when the weather forecasters on the News tell you how hot it's going to be and that your best bet would be to spend the day at the beach, in the water or in the pool. Gee, thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

I was on line at DD again this morning. Okay, so the heat index today in NYC is supposed to hit 100*, I mean, it's HOT out there! So I'm on line and, again, there is NO AIR-CONDITIONING!!!! What is this??? Already unbelievably hot, and they're running toasters and other grilling machines to make whatever breakfast/fat concoctions they sell to the masses. At least I was only in there for a few minutes, but what about the poor people who have to work there? Standing behind the counter in their polyester uniforms. Plus, how appealing is it to have this person sweating profusely stacking your donuts in a box for you? No thanks. I passed on the donut, one coffee is fine, thanks.

3:33 pm: Screwed up a development database at work. Damn.

4:42 pm: Oh good, the d/b is okay. It was just something screwy I was doing in my code. phew.

8:36 pm:Well, I sucked it up and managed a Spinning class tonight. I've been a slacker for a few days, so it had to be done. Luckily, I think the instructor took pity on us because of the heat since I didn't feel so beaten up at the end. Still sweated like a jungle hog though. I feel so much better now. Aren't you glad I shared?

I took today off of work due to a stomach ailment you really don't want to hear the details of. I'm trying to do some work from home, but that never seems to really work out very well, so I decide I might as well get a couple of errands done. Lola and I are on line at the Post Office (subject for a rant someday) and my friend Carolina steps into line behind us. Carolina just had a baby and she's already back to her size 6 figure. I hate Carolina. (not really, but you know what I mean) and there I am in these baggy, two-sizes-too-big, running shorts, unflattering t-shirt and dirty, oily hair (yes, that's right, I haven't even taken a shower today). I feel like such a slug. Carolina is all clean and chipper and size-6. How nice for her. I'm going to crawl back under my rock now.

Weird weekend. I was innocently walking Lola the Pug on Friday, came back to the building through the back gate. Kathy and Claudine were hanging out in the back yard drinking sangria. They invited me to have a glass and one thing led to another (and one glass led to another) and I ended up sitting in the backyard for six hours or so drinking sangria and gossiping. Could have been a worse day.

Yesterday I went to Paul & Luminita's, they were having people over. It was so hot that the sky had turned white. The heat seemed to wash all the blue out. Spent the evening drinking beers and reminiscing with friends about our bar days in the City.

I'm in a bad mood today. As I sit here thinking about it, national holidays almost always put me in a bad mood. I guess it's the whole, significant other - family thing. It just seems that the world revolves so much around being part of a family or a couple that it just becomes very glaringly obvious that I don't have any of these things going on when a holiday crops up. And I'm not trying to say, 'you're not complete without a man, significant, whatever' either, but it just seems that as much as you read (and feel) that it's okay to be alone, the World (fueled by the media) is happy to convince you otherwise. It just seems that holidays do a pretty good job of making sure I realize that I'm single. Well, TG for Lola the Pug anyway.

Rant of the Day: Stoneyfield Farms Yogurt. SF is the only kind of yogurt I can eat because they don't add sacchrine or nutrasweet or a ton of sugar, etc. Well recently, without any warning, their standard yogurt portion went from 8 oz. to 6oz.! This would be annoying enough all on it's own, but they didn't drop the price! Did they think we weren't going to notice? So now I'm boycotting Stoneyfield Farms. I wonder how long it'll last, I already miss my yogurt.

I caved this morning and bought a coffee at DD. I've been boycotting them all year because their prices went up. Again. So I hadn't been there in a while and I'm waiting on this humungous line and there is no air-conditioning in the store. I finally order my coffee, give the girl two dollars and I get a quarter and a handful of pennies back. What the F* is that???? Most places won't even take pennies anymore. Sheesh!

Rant of the Day: Willard Scott. Okay, so not him personally, but he does this nice thing where he announces on the Today Show who is 100 years old today. It used to be this really sweet gesture that he (or whatever producer at NBC) started. Well, then they had to add a product endorsement to make a few bucks and that just leaves a really sour taste in my mouth. First it was Hallmark and now it is Smuckers. Does everything have to be a plug??? Drives me crazy.

I bought a magazine to read on the train the other day. It was one of those women's fashion-type things that I normally try to avoid. But I bought it and read an article on the best jeans to wear if you have short legs, or a big butt, or wide hips, etc. My question is, what do you do if you have short legs AND a big butt AND wide hips? Just close yourself in your apartment because you shouldn't be seen in public?

I took a Spinning, er "Cycling", class tonight. It was as hard as usual, although, oddly, all the aches & pains and soreness from running yesterday were gone after the class. The instructor said that the month of July is going to be a tribute to the Tour de France, apparently mimicing the various trials of the race. Greeeeat. Something to look forward to.