I have two words for the wind out there tonight. In. Sane. Special weather broadcasts are calling a warning for winds in excess of 60 MPH! I would think that has to qualify for gail-force, at what point is it considered hurricane-force? 100MPH? Afraid to take Lola out there for fear that she'll just blow away.

It is a beautiful Fall day here in NYC. The rain and the fog from yesterday seem to have cleared out the air, so that by this morning it was crisp, with that slanted Autumn light I love so much. It was very windy, and I enjoyed watching the low white, blue & gray clouds moving quickly across the sky, against the vivid blue backdrop. The wind also kicking up all the leaves on the ground and stirring things around, making that rich, November rustling sound (before things turn to Winter harsh). This is the texture I've been missing during these unseasonably warm days.

Okay, so dinner wasn't so terrible. Except for the one stray comment of my father's asking wifey, "what's honeybun going to have for desert?" shudder

Okay, what is with the cleaning lady in this place?! She comes into my cubicle (without knocking, I might add -- my door was closed) reeking of her tacky perfume. She then proceeds to dust. Around me. While I'm sitting here. I know being a cleaning lady is not exactly the best job in the World, but geez, you don't have to dust if I'm sitting here! gaaaaah!

awwwwww -- a colleague here went out at lunchtime and bought a chocolate cake for me for my birthday. Isn't that nice?

Seen on my way down to grab my salad for lunch -- a man wearing a fez. Really.

So tonight is the dreaded dinner with my father and wifey. I am so not looking forward to this. Hoping to try and talk someone into going for a drink first. As Julian says, "I need a primer" (or two).

I want to know who the brainiac is at my company who decided that it was a good idea to schedule a blood drive (today) the day before they hand out flu shots (tomorrow)??? I mean, really.

On an unrelated note. My train this morning was two minutes early. Actually about seven minutes early, when you consider that it is normally about five minutes late. The volume of people waiting on the platform was significantly less than usual. Have a feeling there was an unpleasant surprise in store for some of the lollygaggers.

So what is with The Today Show? Why do they always schedule these tear-jerking segments right when I am trying to get my makeup on and leave for work? This morning it was about some guy who wanted to thank the teachers he had had in 8th grade for making him feel like he was "worth something". ARGH! Kind of hard to stick to a schedule in the morning when you're crying all over yourself. I'm such a sap.

OMG. Cher has actually written two blogs in a month. So far. I can't believe it! (And, I should say, I'm impressed -- heh.)

Went for a bit of a run tonight. Started in Forest Hills Gardens, turned onto the quieter streets so that I could run in the street rather than on the sidewalks. Through my meanderings, I ended up on Metropolitan Avenue and so I followed that back towards Kew Gardens and Forest Park. I decided to brave the park, even though it was quite dark, but I just ran up the first hill into the park, to the top, turned around to run back down and repeated a couple of times. The park was deserted and it felt rather creepy, so I was careful not to run too far in (I saw no other people at all). Hardly the ideal run, but it was better than riding the couch.

Why is it, whenever you take a class (makes no difference what the class is) there is always one know-it-all in the bunch? I was in a half-day class this morning and wanted to smack the smug, techno-geek with greasy hair in front of me. Instead, I spent the three hours rolling my eyes behind his back everytime he felt compelled to impress us with his "superior" knowledge (which was often).

Is it bad that all I want to do on the weekend is sleep?

So, I've spent most of this weekend worrying about the layoffs that are supposedly happening at my company this coming week. So far, over the past couple of years, my department has escaped the knife (so to speak), but I can't imagine that continuing indefinitely (should these layoffs continue). Friends in other departments speak with confidence that I would be safe. The opinion is usually that I have a lot of seniority and that I am one of the essential staff in my group -- how do they know? I think everyday of how I could be replaced. I don't think I would be so freaked out about the prospect of being laid off if, A) I was younger -- I'm just too old to start over, especially doing something else. And B) I didn't have debt. I would feel a lot freer to make a big change, if not for these things. Certainly, if it were to happen, I would think very hard about whether I wanted to stay in the NYC area. Julia keeps talking to me about relocating to the Boston area. And I would love it, truly I would. I've always considered myself a New England girl. Spent every Summer of my life on Cape Cod (until I was in my early 20s), I went to college in Massachusetts. I have two cousins who live in NH (v. close to the MA border), my roommate from college is in Wellsley, Julia & Joe are in Boston. I have other friends around the area. I also used to spend a lot of time in VT as my sister lived there until their big move to New Mexico a couple of years ago (they still come back every Summer for a vacation on Lake Champlain). I could have a life in New England. The big problem is finding interesting employment that would pay me a livable salary. Getting a car, finding a place I could afford to live, etc. Oh, it's just so overwhelming! Chances are I'm not being laidoff anyway, my manager is on vacation next week and I'm handling some things for him while he's gone. And I didn't get any weird vibes from him at all (and I tend to be sensitive about this stuff). Of course, on the other hand, he could maybe not even know that I am on the chopping block. He could come back to work the following week and find me gone (believe me, I have heard some stories from other depts in prior layoffs where this kind of thing happened). Anyway, see? I'm obsessing. Nothing I can do about it now anyway.

So my friend Julian happened to stop by my desk for a visit yesterday. During the course of our conversation, he asked how Lola was doing. I said, "Oh she's the same happy girl. In fact she is so happy, it almost breaks my heart. She's just so happy with so little." Julian gave me a strange look. He probably thinks I'm crazy.

This morning for breakfast I had a Jello Pudding cup (chocolate, of course) and an apple. I feel like I'm about 8 years old.

I had to give a presentation this afternoon. Doesn't matter how many of these I give, I just can't get used to it. I hate public speaking. I actually don't mind presenting an application I've been working on to the users it's written for. But this kind of presentation freaks me out. But it's over now. At least until the next time.

So, I had this nightmare about Dr. Phil the other night. I dreamt that he was living in this apartment building with his family and I happened to be walking down the stairs of the building. I knew someone who lived in the apartment complex, or I lived there somewhere (I can't remember which from my dream) but went to his particular building because I thought I might catch a glimpse of him (which is strange because I am not usually the star-struck type). Anyway, I was walking down the stairs from the floor above his apartment when he happened to be coming out of his front door. He saw me and thought I was some crazy loony stalker that had been bothering his family (knowing that I was not the person who lived on the floor above). He grabbed me and shook me and yelled and yelled at me and told me to leave his family alone. I was struck by feelings of guilt and shame (because I had been in the building for a Dr. Phil sighting after all) and upset at the unfairness of it all (I wasn't the psycho he mistook me for). It took a long time to convince him of my innocence at which time he finally, half-heartedly, apologized, but was none too thrilled with me nonetheless. I've got to stop watching so much damned TV. Sheesh.

OMG! It is soooooo hot out, I mean like mid-70s hot. Like Summer. I was over-heated just walking around Columbus Avenue tonight, if I had to run a marathon tomorrow I would be freaking out.

Dinner last night at Rancho with good friends and tonight at Pomodoro with more of the same. I love NYC Marathon weekend, it just flies by too quickly though.