Sick!

I've got some kind of stomach flu, of the sort you are prone to when you're a kid. You know the type, complete with prolonged periods of throwing up and other bodily functions you'll thank me not to go into detail about (I think all those sleepless nights have managed to catch up with me).

Here are some thoughts:

* Even a mild fever (100.4) makes you totally feel like crap.
* It is amazing how even the most innocuous food commercial or scene on TV can make you feel like hurling.
* It's almost inconceivable how the task of eating just one piece of dry toast seems insurmountable.
* No matter how much you plead and cajole, no, your dog is not going to go out and buy gingerale and Gatorade for you.
* The dog will still have to go out.
* That same dog knows to otherwise leave you alone.
* Nausea and stomach cramps take away most worries about work (but is not recommended as a cure for work stress).
* Where the F is the F'ing heat to my F'ing apartment??? Sheesh!
* I miss my mother.

Hormones

Why is it with men, they hear a woman mention "hormones", they automatically assume we're talking about pregnancy? The other day I was in the hall talking to a girl friend at work and we were both complaining about how much trouble we're having sleeping lately. I said, "I guess it's stress. Although, it could also be hormones." My friend laughs and says, "probably hormones." My former-currently-temporary-maybe-permanent manager a bit later said to me with a significant look and a smirk, "is there anything you're not telling us???" I said, "No, do
you have anything you're not saying???" I swear he was fishing around thinking I was pregnant (as IF!!!) He tends to do a lot of skulking around and probably overheard my conversation.

What a Day!!!

ARGH!!!! Came in this morning to major problems with our Commissions database. On the morning of a big, mucky-muck sales meeting too. What a complete nightmare, made even worse by the fact that I was the only one in the office that could even deal with it. I was able to restore Friday's file easily enough, but it was the re-running of all our reporting extracts that took all morning (and were very critical to all the various people who live or die daily on these numbers). Can you say stressed?

And then I had two completely separate client groups decide this morning that their projects needed to move into red-line emergency status and would be needed today. Somehow I managed to get it all done, although I have to do some further work with our Commissions d/b tonight (hopefully I won't come in to another major nightmare tomorrow morning). Oh yeah, and I didn't fall asleep last night until 4 AM. ACK! Four AM!!! Sheesh!

On a good note, I finally (FINALLY!) got my iPod today! It's charging up as we speak. No more Christmas music for me, yay!

Friday Night Movie Night

Was over to Carolina & Janos's last night for pomegranate martinis, which were delish, to watch the "Fantastic Four" which completely sucked. I don't much recommend the movie. It was perfect though, for talking throughout. Certainly there was a lot to mock in this flick.

My and My Big Mouth

This afternoon I was over in J's cubicle to ask him a question.

While we were talking, he says, "oh, actually, I'm glad you're here, I wanted to talk to you about our commission databases. I had to add a column to the files, so the files will have to be rebuilt and the programs compiled... "

I then opened my big mouth and say, "oh, if it's okay, I'd like to do it over the weekend. I usually prefer to rebuild production d/bs over weekends when I have more time, in case something doesn't work out right... "

J then pauses for a beat just looking at me and then says that oh, he was just telling me in case I happened to currently be working on a program that uses one of these files. But since I volunteered to take on this task, he thanked me very much and was happy to turn it over to me.

I freaking volunteered to do his work for him!

I just stood there gaping at him for a moment and then sighed and said, "just send me the updated files and an email noting the applications that will need to be recompiled."

I must be the biggest ass in NYC! What an idiot. ARGH!

Frustrated

I'm having a really frustrating, non-productive day. I've got so much to do and my lack of progress today is making me anxious. The director of my department has pulled me repeatedly this week to do super-special-year-end-regional-VP-reporting projects and the constant interruptions to do all this last-minute (and urgent) work have gotten me off-track of the regular projects that I need to be working on. GAH! And then, as I was saying to Carolina earlier, sometimes this cubicle gets to me and sucks my will to live, thus interfering with my creativity. I just wish I could cut my losses on a day like today and go home, perhaps the change of venue (and some natural light) would give me fresh eyes for my work and liven up my motivation.

Note to Self

When you own a light-colored dog that sheds, wearing a black fleece top perhaps isn't the smartest idea.

iPod Woes

So, I ordered an iPod for myself for my birthday and I am still waiting for the thing a month later. When I placed the order online I didn’t see the option to change the shipping address (I need to ship it to my office where there will be someone to sign for it), so after submitting, I right away called Apple. For some reason they couldn’t change the address at that point and told me that I would have to wait until I received the Fedex tracking number and have Fedex reroute the package to the new address (Apple would have to authorize). So the next day I get the tracking number and call Fedex only to be told that they don’t reroute Apple packages. I call back Apple and they confirm this (why someone the day before told me that they would authorize a reroute is beyond me). So, then the only option was to have the package sent all the way back to Apple (in China!) and then re-sent to the new address. Only, the package never again showed up on radar. So, after numerous calls to Apple and endless visits to the Order Status page, they finally decided to send me a replacement. That was last Thursday and I’m still waiting.

I was really sure it was going to come today (I spoke to Apple yet again yesterday and they said that it was leaving the warehouse then and was being sent overnight). I’ve been waiting for over four weeks now and am completely pissed off! What I don’t get is, when I originally ordered the iPod, it was out of that warehouse and at the Brooklyn fedex location within two days. I don’t understand why it’s taking so long this time.

I feel like the least they could have done was offer an upgrade or a credit for some accessories or something. Sheesh! Should have just gone to BestBuy. Rat Bastards.

Snow!

First snow of the season - Woo! Don't think it'll stick around too long though, it's awfully wet and sloppy out there.

Innocence has Many Meanings

I've been downloading many songs over this past year and have found myself somehow drawn to music from a time in my life when the possibilities seemed endless, when the vague future ahead of me was almost like an enticing new novel I was just about to read. I look back at that time as one both of boundless optimism and enthusiasm combined (contradictorily) with an absolute terror that nothing meaningful was ever going to happen, that I would never have a relationship with a man I could count on, that I would never manage to find a career that was fulfilling. Now, all these years later, I can hardly bear to look at pictures of myself (even though I was far more pleasing to the eye) from that time without bringing tears over the courageous, happy, yet vulnerable look in my eyes. My heart almost breaks for my former self with the knowledge of the things to come (both good and bad, but most unexpected). Some of the music that I have rediscovered from that time brings some of that innocent emotion rushing back to me, if even for just a moment.

Oh, and it's true. I never have been able to find that man that I can count on, but I guess two out of three isn't so bad.

War of the Worlds

(WARNING: Spoiler)



So, I saw "War of the Worlds" on DVD this weekend. It was an okay enough movie, for what it was. Sufficiently scary and suspenseful with decent special effects. But there are a couple of things that I just have to point out.

First of all, I'm damn sick of that Dakota Fanning kid, talk about over-exposed, ugh. Anyway, as far as the movie is concerned, I know that for this type of Science Fiction flick we're pretty much supposed to suspend reality and allow a certain amount of artistic license, but do they really expect us to believe that a huge jet could crash to the ground in a neighborhood, decimating all the surrounding houses, littering metal and debris everywhere in sight, yet the mini-van parked in the driveway would remain completely unscathed? As well as a clear path through all the scraps of metal and engine parts for the van to drive through? Additionally, throughout this entire movie all the people are forever talking about how all other parts of the World are currently also under attack, yet for some reason there seems to be this exodus to Boston. Once the main characters get to Boston, they see, that yes, the city has been attacked like everywhere else, yet they show up at the completely unscathed brownstone (in a more or less unscathed neighborhood, Back Bay, I think) of these kids' grand-parents. The grandparents and the kids' mother all step out of the brownstone all dressed up like they've been sitting around having brunch all weekend or something. I mean, WTF?

You Know You've Lost You Mind...

...When listening to a Lenny Kravitz song, you turn to your dog and say conversationally, "This song really has a '70s sound, don't you think?"

I think I've lived alone for far too long...

So Inspirational

Does anyone watch The Biggest Loser? As much as I hate to admit it, I was really hooked this season. I found that I could identify with most of the stories and just about all of the final results were completely inspirational. The results were basically almost crazy, in many cases 100+ lb weight loss. We're talking gastric-bypass style weightloss on diet and exercise alone. I realize that this is probably not realistic for the average person (I mean, how many people can sign out of their lives for 3+ months and go live on a ranch in a vacuum), but even half of these results would have been impressive. It just makes me both inspired and disgruntled with myself all at the same time.

this is getting rather ridiculous

After 1:30 AM and not anywhere closer to dropping off than I was when I went to bed around 11, I finally decided to just get up. I feel like a ghost that has been wandering around my apartment at night lately.

Maybe I'll just do some work. Or something.

(sidebar: wow, it is really pouring down rain outside)

Still No Sleep

Saturday Night/Sunday Morning: Up until 5 AM
Sunday Night/Monday Morning: Up until 3:30/4:00 AM
Monday Night/Tuesday Morning: Up until 2:30/3:00 AM

At least I'm headed in the right direction. By the end of the week I should almost be getting a normal nights sleep. I wonder if I should call my doctor and try to get a prescription to Ambien or something. Sheesh!

Unbelievably Hot

Okay, it's the butt-end of November and it's about 70 degrees in NYC tonight. I'm about ready to burst into flames!

and the stress starts again

Coming to the close of my week off and the stress of work is starting to build in my brain again. Last night I was up all night. Literally until 5 AM, thinking about all the work currently loaded on my plate. During my week off I received numerous emails from various different people in my group requesting my involvement in various unrelated projects. It's gotten to the point now where I almost feel like I'm reporting to about eight different people. Now that I'm due back to work tomorrow morning after a week off, I am anxious about all this stuff I now am responsible for. The list seems to grow with each day. Hopefully, I'll at least be able to sleep some tonight.

Mission Accomplished

The finished product. Don't know how it tastes yet, but it sure does smell great.

A Precious Commodity

So I told Carolina that I would bake an apple pie for Thanksgiving. I'm actually cheating and using that pre-made, uncooked, pie dough that you just have to unroll. I used to make my own crust many years ago. My mother loved to cook, and she was a particularly fine baker. I think this came from the influence of her Scottish grandmother. So I grew up enjoying home-baked from scratch apple pies. I was never much of a fan of cakes, but any kind of apple pastry has always been a weakness for me. So, I learned to make my own crust and used to bake a pie now and again, but that was all many years ago. This year I'm cheating, my mother would frown, but what can you do?

Anyway, I went to the store today to pick up most of the ingredients that I would need and once again I was confronted with a spice section in the grocery store with no nutmeg to be found anywhere.

I ended up at check-out and I happened to mention to the cashier, "You guys don't carry nutmeg?" English wasn't her first language, so it took me a couple of tries before she really understood what I was asking for. I finally said, "Nutmeg. It's a kind of spice." She then opens the drawer under her register and pulls out a tiny container of nutmeg and says, "You mean, like this?" DOH!!! "Exactly!!!"

So, they're hiding the nutmeg under the cash register like it's some precious commodity that is going to walk out of the store. Well, come to think of it, this tiny thing cost $5, so maybe it would after all. But, SHEESH!

Rant of the Day

People who litter.

Crossing the street in front of my apartment building this afternoon, there are two teenage boys in front of me. One throws an empty plastic juice bottle into the street. There is a trash can about five feet to their left and a dumpster a few feet in front of them. I am so mad, my blood practically boils.

Me: "Do you have throw trash in the street???!!!"
Punk Teenager: "What difference does it make?"
(Is he kidding? What difference does it make???)
Me: "What do you mean, what difference does it make? All this trash makes this a terrible place to live! Besides, there is a trash can right in front of you!" (how lazy can you possibly be?)
Punk Teenager: "So? there's already garbage on the street!"
Me: "so? You've got to add to it???"

Teenage punks go on grumbling about "who cares?" etc. I pick up discarded plastic bottle and toss it into the dumpster.

Punk Teenager: "Why don't you pick up the rest of the garbage around then? What are you, a Park Ranger?"
Me: "Damn lazy punks" (assholes).

These are among the same assholes who stand around on the street outside my apartment all the time whooping and yelling and playing bad, loud music that the entire neighborhood is forced to endure.

I just. don't. get. it. Any time I call someone on littering, they are always completely incredulous that anyone would even care. I can see catching someone in the act, and they then acting guilty or defensive about it, but everyone I've ever spoken up to around here has seemed to be completely convinced that they've done nothing at all wrong. What are the parents teaching these kids? Both of these punks were wearing nice, new and fashionable coats. Obviously someone is looking after them. So they're well-dressed, but are the parents nearly as concerned with their morals and their futures? Between the litter thing, the complete disregard for community and the fact that all these kids are regularly out on the street after 11 PM, regardless of the day of the week, I would think that the priorities are somehow screwed up.