Social Pariah

Apparently I've become somewhat of a social pariah. I found out that there was a party/gathering on Saturday night of some friends that I wasn't invited to. Gee, thanks a lot.

You know that you've been watching too much TV...

...when you imagine the What Not to Wear cameras following and filming you every time you leave your office or home. At least I know I haven't been interviewed for a "market research on fashion" on the street. Yet. Of course, if they ever did try something like this, I would most likely blow them off right there, no self-respecting NYCer stops and talks to a camera on the street.

Rant of the Day: People who insist on hogging the printer by printing out reams of report and then do not check the printer to see if there is still paper! Why must I run around the floor looking for paper so that your damn 1000s of pages can continue to print??? I'm only trying to print out a 1-page email! GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

I hate people.

Why I Hate Summer So Much

It's hot again today. We had a break from the soul-sucking heat & humidity for a couple of days but now it's back. Not quite as horrible yet as it was a mere few days ago, but it's gathering strength. I'm the idiot who has to stand on the train platform drinking hot coffee in the morning. But I finished my cup long in advance of the train arrival. Get on the train and seat myself across from a very cool-looking, put-together woman wearing big sunglasses. I sit there and can feel my face perspiring. A lot. The more I think about it, the more I perspire. I surreptitiously try to blot my face with a napkin, but my discomfort grows (yes, the train was air-conditioned). I squirm in my seat imagining the woman across from me watching me with disgust. I mentally curse Summer over and over in my head and pray for the quick journey into Penn Station while my sunglasses fog up, my face become more moist, trickles of sweat creep down between my shoulder blades. I really hate summer in NYC.

Open Season on Women in DC and Rome. Reinforcing my eagerness to personally shun the Catholic church at the earliest age possible (18).

Gross

Woman standing on the train platform this morning, smoking a cigarette while chomping away on some gum. They grow them classy in Queens.

Annoyed

I wanted to run on the treadmill tonight, but each time I've gone down there, someone has been in there hogging the damn gym -- ARGH! Bastards. Maybe I'll just got to bed, dammit.

Breaking News

I won $1 in the lottery last night -- woo!

Do I Look Homeless?

I know I look a little worse for wear after suffering from insomnia most of the week, but this is ridiculous. Ran downstairs and to a Duane Reade in Penn Station to grab a soda for my mid-afternoon caffeine kick. I'm coming back up the escalator outside the building when this guy asks me for directions to Park Avenue. (Luckily he asked because he was ready to walk West and farther away -- it's already enough of a hike on such a steamy, icky day). Anyway, I give him directions, tell him the cross streets along the way, how far it is, how to get out of the maze of corridors to the street, what cross-street we're at, etc. And then he all of a sudden whips out his wallet and tries to hand a dollar to me! He was trying to tip me! I refused the dollar and he kept insisting and I kept refusing... it was so bizarre. I finally said emphatically, "no, it's really okay" and I guess he finally got the hint and stopped trying and just thanked me again, while I escaped to the revolving door of my building. I mean, it was a nice gesture but, sheesh! Do I look homeless or something? Now, if he had been offering me a beer, it might have been a different story.

Poor Joseph

From Julia's report of a race she did last night:

He says, "good job" or something like that. I said, "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!"

 

 

Hahhahahahaha!!!!! As Cher would say, Poor Joseph!

Nice Thing to Teach the Kiddies

Waiting to board a LIRR commuter train this evening, woman behind me with two kids and a bunch of bags says to the kids, "now, when the doors open, just push and push." I turn around and give them a scathing look and say, "No. Actually don't push." Woman amends her instruction to the kids and says, "don't push too hard." Yeah, whatever. Great thing to teach your kids, you're more important than anyone else, just push your way in, the hell with other people.

Bit the Bullet

Well, I just bit the bullet and registered to vote. I had been putting it off since I moved to Queens because I know that this is one sure-fire way for the jury duty nazis to find me (especially once I actually exercise my right to actually go out and vote). But who am I kidding? I just can't not vote, it's too important, espcially this year. And for those who say that your vote doesn't count, particularly if you're not living in a "swing" state... don't you want to express your opinion anyway? There is something to be said about sending a message not only to the government and the country, but to the World. Especially those in the World who believe that we all agree with and blindly follow "The Shrub".

More on Room & Board

From their website (about the NYC store -- coming soon):

3/15/2004

Room & Board To Open New York Store

Room & Board will bring its classic, simple home furnishings to a new store in the heart of Manhattan's SoHo neighborhood in early 2005.

The store will be located in the building currently occupied by office and home furnishings company Knoll®, Inc. on Wooster between Spring and Prince Streets. Room & Board plans to renovate the space in a way that preserves the integrity of the current building and its surrounding neighborhood.

Despite not having a store in New York, Room & Board has experienced strong demand for its home furnishings among New York residents.

"Our goal is to help our customers create homes that are beautiful, functional, comfortable and provide outlets for self-expression," said John Gabbert, founder and president of Room & Board. "Based on the significant interest we've already seen among New York residents, we expect our SoHo store will be well received and extremely successful."

Can't wait. Love their stuff.

Finally

So, I was watching Queer Eye tonight and Thom was talking about the bedroom he designed for this week's straight guy and he said that everything was ordered from Room and Board, my favorite furniture store (my couch is from there) and that they're opening a store in New York. Happy, happy (as Julia would say).

I just don't wanna go to spinning tonight. It's pouring out, I'm tired, just wanna go home -- argh!

LIRR Sucks

Can somebody please tell me why the heat was on in my train this morning? I mean, it was cranking out of the vents along the window like it was the middle of January or something. Sheesh!

Nike Race in Central Park

I ran a race on Thursday night in the extreme heat & humidity. That night was just about the worst a NYC Summer has to offer. Extreme humidity (over 90%), extreme heat (around 90 degrees), a murky, swampy quality to the air that makes you want to run, screaming, for the closest air-conditioned building (preferably one where you can get a cold beer). I had been dreading this race all day long. The ten minutes I had taken to walk Lola at 8:00 that morning had been a torturous, sweat-flinging event, I couldn't even imagine how I was going to run 3.1 miles. I got to the Park that evening with plenty enough time to use a porta potty and mill around people watching. One thing I noticed was that there sure did seem to be a disproportionate number of people in the 20s (in my opinion), all young and attractive and in shape. 'Ugh, what am I doing here?' I thought to myself. Soon enough, the 10K race was off and it was time for the 5K participants to line up. I positioned myself in the proper place amoungst the thousands & thousands of race participants. This event was so much bigger than I had expected, it was almost like lining up for the marathon, there were so many people. Took me about 2 or so minutes to cross the start line and then we were almost immediately on a big climb, up the toughest hill in Central Park, "Harlem Hill" (also called "The Great Hill"). My one and only goal for this race was just to run up this hill in it's entirety without slowing to a walk at all. There were many people all around, some walking, some running, some doing a combination of both. I just dug in and concentrated, passed a good number of people and just kept a very slow and steady cadence forward and upward. I tried not to think about how hot and miserable it was, I was already completely drenched in sweat and it was only getting worse, but just set my sights on the top of that hill. Harlem Hill is steep, but it is also long and winds around a long curve, it just seems to keep going and going up. The last time I ran this hill in a race, about a month and a half ago, I was only able to make it about halfway or maybe two thirds of the way up. So I just dug in and kept going. Hot miserable, in oxygen debt. Slowly, the top of the hill seemed to get closer, at some stage I realized that I was going to make it. Dug in and continued to power up, not thinking about what I was going to do beyond that point. Well, I made it! The first time I had run that hill in it's entirety in about 5 years. I was pretty proud of myself, especially given the miserable conditions of the race (and my own wimpiness in the heat & humidity). I reached the top and did not walk at all, but was able to keep on going, down the hill and up the next two hills on the course. I was so proud of myself with this effort, I was pretty much at the upper limits of my current ability and endurance, I managed to ride that edge through the huge hill and the next couple of moderate hills after that. I finally did have to succomb to a walk break. Still, my endurance wasn't entirely shot yet and after a brief respite, I was able to continue running on the out and back portion of the course. Came around the turn-around still running, and then into the 102nd Traverse shooting us over to the East Side. It was somewhere in the Traverse where my endurance really gave out. The Traverse in this direction is a subtle uphill, not much of a big deal, but when you're at your limit, you can really feel it. The last part of the Traverse goes a little more steeply uphill (still, not really that big of a deal usually) and this is where I gave in and had to realize that I was just dead. The heat was making me feel so wretched (my face was so hot, it felt like it could explode, the sweat was pouring in rivers down my arms and legs and through my hair and down my face into my neck) and I had pushed my pace and my ability at this stage in my training as much as it could be pushed, I think. I walked up that short hill. Near the top of that hill and just before the second band on the course ("Flock of Seagulls" had been the first band, just after we passed over the Start Line) I started to run again knowing that it was mostly flat and down hill until the end. I felt about as powerful as a wet rag, but I managed to keep going through the flat and down the long down hill. Near the bottom of the hill where the course flattened out again, I had to take yet another walk break, before psyching myself up for the last .1 of the course, run up the beginning of Harlem Hill (yes, again) and over the finish line. Managed to even pick up my pace marginally for this last little climb to the end. Once across the finish line, I immmediately felt shakey and dizzy and had to make a real effor to keep my rubber legs moving forward for fear that I would otherwise just topple over. Anyway, all-in-all, I was really happy with my effort for this race. My time was dismally slow, but was actually about 4 minutes faster than the 5K I did in May. I was able to run the Harlem Hill in it's entirety and did not collapse at the top, but was able to continue on through the next few hills. I really did run most of the race, just a few short walk breaks marred my effort, a real improvement over the 5K in May and the NYRRC Anniversary race I ran on a very similar course in the beginning of June. Lastly, I do not deal well in the heat & humidity at all, so I was especially grateful to be able to put forth a solid effort on such a brutal day. Overall, I was happy with my race.

After the race I regrouped with Ellen & Ken, Harriet and Daniel (who all also ran the race) and we all enjoyed a wonderful dinner near the race finish, in honor of Ellen's birthday. It was a good night.

so busy today... no time to blog.

Discomfort

Okay, why is my cubicle so bloody hot??? And why is my chair so bloody hard and uncomfortable??? (Even though I've requested another one, a replacement has not been provided. Bastards) ARGH!!!! I was talking to my father the other day and he was telling me how he had recently read an article (either in the NY Times or Wall Street Journal, I can't remember which) about all these people who sit in cubicles and how they're all going crazy. Yep, that's me. Thanks for pointing this out.

What a great run tonight -- wee!

The Government forgot what year 9/11 happened. Morons.

PIA

 

Okay, so I went to the dermatologist last week to finally get my skin (around my eyes) checked out to try and determine what is causing the FUEs. I had never been to these particular doctors or office before, what an operation it ended up being. First of all, my appointment was for 9 AM. I was there about 15 minutes early and, in the course of waiting for my turn, no fewer than six people came in with the exact same appointment time, for the exact same doctor. Right away you've got to think, 'over-booked???' Luckily, since I had been there early, I didn't have to wait too long. But, geez, once I was brought in, I felt like I was on an assembly line. First brought into one room where I was interviewed by a nurse who asked me the same questions I had answered on my questionnaire upon arriving for my appointment. The form I had filed out was even there, right in front of her. Then I was hustled into another room where there were three people, the doctor, a nurse and a physician's assistant or similar. I'm introduced, everyone is talking at once, my butt barely hits the chair when the doctor "diagnoses" my eyes as having dermatitis/allergic reaction to something. This diagnosis is made by him from across the room (no need for all the fancy equipment scattered around). I am then hoisted back up out of the chair, some samples of some cream and a prescription shoved into my hand, a request that I come back this week for allergy testing, and I am sent on my way with a, "nice meeting you, miss" from the doctor. I came spiralling out of the room practically dizzy. So, using the cream he gave me actually made my eyes worse, so I'm glad that I never got the stupid prescription filled (also, especially since the damn thing was supposed to run me around $100, on top of the $20 co-pay). So, this morning I came back for the allergy testing. After waiting 40 minutes or so for my turn to see the doctor, I am informed that they are going to put this test strip thingie on my back and that I will not be allowed to shower for three days. 3. days. Er, in case anyone hasn't checked recently, it's the middle of July.  Today the humidity level is ninety eight percent. That's 98. Hello???? Standing at the top of the subway stairs, I could feel waves of hot, swampy, humidity wafting up from the station. I was so hot while I was down there that I was almost ready to cry when I couldn't immediately find the stairs to get me out. When I freaked out to the doctor about the showering thing, she made some lame and vague comment about how I would still be allowed to use a wash cloth. Uh, yeah, that's a realistic option. I basically walked out of there (after another $20 co-pay). Even if I wasn't planning to run/spin/whatever everyday for three days, there is still no-freaking-way I could go for three days without showering. I mean, are they insane? I hate doctors.

Not on an Empty Stomach, Please...

 
Seen on my morning train today: man clipping his fingernails. I'm gagging again just thinking about it. (shudder)
 

Did anyone happen to catch the "UK Edition" of Queer Eye the other night? Well, I did, and I was NOT impressed. First of all, the guys really didn't have the chemistry or charisma or even the wit of the American Fab 5. But, the most disappointing part of the show, I found, was the home makeover. Basically, they threw a hammock, a sandbox and some outdoor seating in the backyard. They painted the bedroom, added some cheesy mosquito netting over the bed and framed stupid kids' footprints. And then in the den/playroom/living space... my God. Originally, they had a modern-looking red couch up there. The room wasn't really decorated, but it wasn't "hahhhhhrrrrrrible". Well. They moved the couch to a corner of the room behind a railing where it really can't be accessed and then they threw in 4 beanbag chairs in blue and red. And hung this stupid, blown-up picture of the two stupid kids. And that's it! The UK decorator-guy sure was no Thom Filicia, that's for sure. I could even have done better (and have). They did, however, do a pretty good job on the straight guy himself. He ended up pretty cute in the end.

Dragging Ass

Feeling really worn out and slightly icky, like I'm maybe getting sick or something. Could explain why I just have not been able to drag myself to a workout in the last few days. Not going to spinning tonight either. Still have work to do here anyway. Ugh.

Train Drama

So I get down to the LIRR area of Penn Station tonight to find that there are even more swarming masses than usual (never a good sign). Announcements are being made to not descend to the train platforms until your train is announced (most commuter trains typically use the same track each day and so, if you're used to a certain train, you can bypass all the Penn Station craziness by going directly to the track where you expect to grab your train). The announcement then goes on to state that some trains are being canceled and/or combined due to "equipment shortages". Equipment shortages? What? Did some trains go missing or something?

Yoga is NOT for Wimps

Since I was already in Manhattan today for my massage and I had run yesterday, I decided to stop by the gym and take a yoga class. I've been thinking a lot about how I really need to incorporate something like yoga into my week for stretching, flexibility, strength, etc. Seems like it would be a good compliment to running. So the noon class at NYSC in Chelsea fit into my schedule this weekend, so I decided to go. Well. The first thing he had us go (after all that "OM" nonsense) was a headstand! I mean, dear. God. I, of course, opted to remain with all appendages firmly planted on the floor, thank you very much, but there was an amount of bodies crashing to the floor that was fairly intimidating. Although, not quite as intimidating as the people in the class who were actually able to do and hold this pose. From there on it was a series of transitions from one impossible pose to another, one meant to flow into the other with some degree of choreography. Yeah, right. I just held on as best as I could and watched what my neighbors were doing because all of the pose names were a complete mystery to me. All except for "Downward-Facing Dog" for some reason. I suspect that I ended up in that position more than was required (when all else failed, I would shrug my shoulders and go back to it). And the flinging of sweat was unbelievable. Poured off of me worse than in any spinning class. And it's kind of hard to wipe off the sweat that is streaming down your face in rivers when you are suspended in some twisted, unnatural position with all your balance and weight supported by your ten fingers. So the sweat just ran off of my face, splashing in big salty & oily globules onto my rubber mat, the stink of which was making me nauseous. I truly didn't know if I was going to actually make it through the class, but I did somehow. Turns out this was an advanced class. Oh. duh. Oh well, I somehow made it through, a shell of the person I was when I entered, but I did it. I wonder if I should try it again next week?

just whose bright idea was it to schedule a massage first thing on a Satuday morning in Manhattan anyway? sheesh...

Could You Die?

Did I mention, in a misguided effort to stay as cool as possible, that I'm wearing a skirt today? With skinny girls this might actually work. But when you have large legs, your legs just end up rubbing together under your skirt causing friction and combining the heat of both appendages contributing to actually making you even hotter. I don't know why I can never remember this.

"HARRRIBLE"

It is one of those Summer days that makes me absolutely crazy. So humid that even standing still, you're sweating buckets. It feels like you're standing in a swamp and, in NYC, you're not always blessed with air-conditioning everywhere you go either. My morning train is always late when it's hot like this (no idea why). I stand there sweating and stressing that the train that finally comes will be over-crowded with no A/C - neither of which happened today, but the stress causes me to sweat more. Get to Penn Station and the A/C there is murky at best with the heat rolling off all the open train tracks. Stop in Dunkin Donuts for coffee, where there is a line out the door, and deal with the no A/C at all in that store. No A/C plus all the machines and ovens, etc. running in a small space. It was at least 100 degrees in there (with no exaggeration) plus all the humidity we are enjoying on the streets today. This kind of day just puts me in the worst mood imaginable. At least I have no where I have to get to by subway today. That would truly send me over the edge, I swear.

Rant of the Day:

You're a stay-at-home-mom. Additionally, you have a relative visiting and helping you with the kid. Why does 6/6:30 PM on a Wednesday all of a sudden seem like the perfect time to not only do laundry, but to monopolize all of the laundry machines in the building? I mean, it's not like you couldn't do all your extensive laundry at any other time of the day. Preferably while the rest of us are slaving away in our putty-colored cubicles. I guess it would never occur to you that you might be inconveniencing many of your neighbors. But then again, you have a toddler in a studio apartment with no rugs on the hardwood floors, so I guess it really is all about you and your spawn anyway.

(but I'm not bitter)

Geez, I haven't written in a loooong time. I think it's a combination of being pretty busy at work, and not having anything much interesting to say. I've had a number of big projects dumped on me, and while for the most part I welcome the work and am happy to be pretty busy, I'm also a little bit overwhelmed as each is considered a "high priority" item. Additionally, there is the usual Quarter-End craziness to deal with too, so work is pretty busy. But mostly in a good way, so I'm not going to complain (for once).

Working out is going pretty well too. Managing to average three runs and two spinning classes a week. Strength training, however, has somehow fallen to the wayside with the onset of Summer. I was getting my weights workouts in on lunch hours three times a week, but with the heat now I can't convince myself to do all that running around and working out in the middle of the workday.

Have I mentioned lately that the LIRR sucks? Brand new trains (that, by the way, are smaller than the old ones) and yet I still end up in un-air-conditioned cars. Which, I have to say, really wasn't appreciated last night after my killer-sweat-fest-spinning-class, thank you very much.

So anyway, nothing is new. Work is busy, working out is clipping along. Trying to increase my running mileage (without a lot of success). And the LIRR sucks. That's it in a nutshell.

People in Queens are Weird

Last night while walking home from the Park, Lola and I were strolling across the bridge that crosses over the LIRR train tracks. There was a woman about a third of a block away, we weren't really walking that fast (the workout was done at that point) so we weren't gaining on her or anything. But she kept looking over her shoulder at us. Finally she got off the sidewalk and stood in the street between two parked cars and waited for us to pass, while eyeing my dog. Lola just walked along, 'doh de doh de doh' wagging her tail and minding her own business. It was just so weird. Was she afraid of my little dog? I have never encountered such fear & suspicion of dogs in my life as I see on a daily basis in Queens. It just astounds me. Especially over a little dog with a friendly face and a waggy tail. And the thing with last night was, we weren't even close to this woman. She was pretty far ahead of us and it was fairly obvious that we weren't going to catch up to her (nor were we trying to). People in Queens are weird. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.

Cat Woman

OMG, I can't believe I forgot to mention this! Seen last night in Spinning Class: woman wearing a tight, bright-red, shiny, all-in-one cat-suit -- cut way low down between the breasts in front and practically down to her ass-crack in the back. She looked more ready for an S&M sex club than a spinning class. Maybe spinning was just a warm-up for her.

In Keeping with My Pissy Mood of Late...

So, as stated previously, I was in a pissy and down-on-myself mood for a few days. On Sunday evening I came out the back door of my building into the backyard with Lola on her leash, to take her out through the gate to do what she has to do. The couple who live on the sixth floor in the 3-bedroom were out there sitting at one of the picnic benches with their infant on a blanket on the ground beside them. As I come out the door, the man whips around and stares at me, until I exit the gate. I walk Lola around along the curb, she does her stuff, I pick her poop up with a plastic bag, securely tying a knot in the bag and come in through the other gate and walk past them to throw the bag in the trash can out there. This entire time this man is watching me with hawk eyes like I don't know what. Like I am there to injure his child or something. Me and my vicious pug on her leash. I felt so... sad. Had been feeling particularly unloveable already but some guy has to watch me like I am out to harm his child. I think this sort of thing particularly affects me because as a child I wasn't really nurtured extensively or made to feel particularly "precious" and so when confronted with protective parents who eye me as some perceived threat, it just feels so unfair. And it hurts my feelings. What did he think I was going to do to his baby? My dog was on a leash, I wasn't anywhere near the kid (was it because I have no interest in fawning over it?) Additionally, you put on a baby on a blanket in a public outdoor area? It's not your private space, after all. If you're so paranoid, maybe you should keep it in a carriage or something. I won't even mention the fact that we had had a ton of rain up until the day before and the damp and saturated ground was perhaps not the best place to put a newborn infant on a thin blanket. But what do I know? Anyway, it just all came at a really bad time for me, feeling so loathsome and all. I'm over it now, for the most part.

Deep Funk

So, I've been in a deep funk for the past few days. I happened to see a few pictures that were taken of me recently and it sent me into a downward spiral of depression. The person portrayed in these photos is not the person who looks back at me from the mirror. This person is a beast. Here I've been going along with things, exercising, generally feeling good about myself when the reality was that I am this hideous horror. I've seen a lot of talk about Body-Dysmorphic Syndrome with regards mostly to anorexics, but you never really see anything mentioned in Women's magazines or the media about the other side of the coin. Women who are over-weight or fat or HUGE who have a distorted image that makes them think that they look okay. I cerainly had no illusions that I'm a Super Model or anything, but I was not prepared for this reality. So, I've been entertaining very negative thoughts for the past few days. Basically along the lines of who do I think I am anyway and why bother, etc. I think I am just now managing to drag myself out of it. Running last night helped. If I can just concentrate on how exercise makes me feel both emotionally and physically, then I'm okay. Once I start worrying about how I look I start that downward spiral. Those photos were a slap in the face. For any of my friends who might be reading who have in the past been pissed off at me or annoyed for always avoiding that camera at various events, this is the reason why. The pain is just sometimes too much to bear.

Things that have Pissed Me Off in the Last Couple of Days

1 ) Duane Reade giving me 16 $1 bills as change when I bought a soda and a chapstick.
2 ) Chewing the Cud Woman.
3 ) The chick who sits in the cube behind mine who giggles, LOUDLY, ALL the time.
4 ) 2 chicks who came to Spinning Class last night, 8 minutes late, and then proceeded to talk throughout the entire class.
5 ) Slow moving people.
6 ) People with B.O.
7 ) The Long Island Railroad.
8 ) The fact that the skin around my eyes is still a little itchy & irritated and I haven't been able to wear eye makeup.
9 ) The fact that there is supposed to be a major storm tomorrow morning, interferring with my plans to run a race in Central Park.
10) The fact that neither Carolina nor I have any good movies from Netflix for tonight.
11) Humidity.
12) My Chair.

I'm sure there is more...

Chewing the Cud

It amazes me how many seemingly normal looking adults I run into these days who insist on chewing gum with as much open-mouth, chomping and slurping and cracking gusto as a nine year old kid. This morning it was the well-dressed woman sitting next to me on the train. Slurping & chomping away, practically in my ear. Must have been the slowest train ride ever. Disgusting.

Blog-iversary

Well, I've officially been blogging for one full year so, Happy Blog-iversary to me. Guess I'll stick with it, I seem to enjoy ranting here.

Girly

So, I got this sticky, sparkly pink lip gloss from Revlon in the goody bag of a race I ran and I happened to leave it on my bathroom sink. So now everytime that I go into the bathroom in the evening (which can be alot if I'm drinking water or beer) I put some on my lips. I don't know why, it's just Lola and me crashed out watching Queer Eye or something. It just makes me happy for some reason. It's the simple, silly things in life, I guess. Weird that something so pinky and sparkly and girly would make me so happy. heh.

Swamp City

I just looked up the weather and it said that the humidity is 94%! No wonder I'm uncomfortable, although not as miserable as one might expect. Good thing it wasn't a running day.

What a Difference a Day Makes

Yesterday I had a good run, tonight's run sucked. Everything hurt. Felt like I was going to fall apart, like an old, broken machine. Cut it short at 2 miles, but I still made myself run up all the hills though. Hills make you strong.

A Lovely Run

I really had a lovely run last night, even if it was a bit truncated. The weather broke on Friday night gracing NYC with another perfect weekend. Still, I managed to be pretty lazy for all of Saturday and most of Sunday. I put off going for my run until late on Sunday afternoon (of course, having been ripped out of sleep at 5 AM by my upstairs neighbors, causing me to be lethargic all day, hadn't helped matters), but I finally got my act together around 4 PM. I went downstairs to bring Lola out first before going and ran into neighbors, Kathy, Claudine & Jerry hanging out in the backyard, cooking out steaks and drinking and having a great time. They invited me to join them -- what a dilemma! Grilled steak and shrimp and cold beer outside on a beautiful day or run. hmmmmmmm, hemmed and hawed and finally said, "no, thanks I really have to run". (Can you believe it???) They said, go for the run and come back and have dinner with us anyway. Sounds good. So, I left Lola with them, so that she could enjoy being outside and could play with Jake, their dog and I went up to Forest Park. Knowing that I didn't have a lot of time, I altered the course I would have done, had I no plans. But I also ran harder than I would have too (and took fewer walk breaks), knowing that time was limited. Ran in on the Park Drive for about (maybe not quite) a half a mile, and then veered off on one of the bridle path roads (still running), ran hard in through here and up and down the small hills until the bottom of the big series of hills that always kicks my behind. I walked for a short space before tackling the hills. It's actually one, big hill that plateaus a couple of times before continuing up. I ran each section, stopped briefly on each plateau before continuing on up the hill. I reached the summit expecting another section, but I was already at the top. I thought to myself, 'that's it?' I was completely out of breath of course, but I was expecting more. It somehow seemed to go a lot easier than the last time I did this hill (which was maybe 2 weeks ago). Of course the low humidity could have had something to do with that, but I'll take it. From the hill I continued on my loop, taking a shorter route than I would have had such a great dinner and beer not been waiting for me. Still I was able to pretty much keep running, with few walk breaks. I came out of the bridle paths and back on to the Park Drive and powered up the last big hill of the Park, enjoying the treat of a nice downhill on the other side and out to where the Park exited at Metropolitan Avenue.

All in all this was a pretty good effort for me, I am beginning to feel like I used to as a runner, I can actually get out there and run more than I walk. And that's a good thing.

Oh and the steak & shrimp & beer was delicious.

Too Good To Be True

I've been living in some amount of peaceful bliss for the last two weeks because it seems that my (asshole, upstairs, with no rugs and a toddler) neighbors were away. Peace & quiet and freedom from all their intrusive stomping, child running at all hours of the morning, day and night. Of course I sat here for the two weeks while enjoying the peace and quiet, holding my breath waiting for their return home (no doubt heralded with a lot of stomping and banging and dropping of large, heavy objects and one screaming, spoiled brat) and this happened last night at a little after 10. I knew that it was most likely they had been in Europe (they're from Poland) and so that this morning would be an early one, their internal clocks about 5 or 6 hours ahead. And, sure enough, a little after 5 this morning the stomping and the running started. So, I guess it's back to the same old misery. I knew the peace and quiet was just too good to last. Bastards.

Nasty People

I am so sick of nasty people. In my apartment building, mostly the people are lovely, but there are a few that stand out for being unreasonably nasty. Like the guy who lives next door to me who is currently having a war with some other neighbors about a grill in the BBQ pit in the backyard. Or this man who lives on the 6th floor who has this little, white bichon. This man has been so unbelievably unfriendly to me since day one. It's so strange and I just can't figure out why. The only thing I can think is because I own a dog too. Like he should be the only one allowed to have a dog here or something. But I'll say hi to him, and he'll (at the most) grunt at me, and then look the other way. And his dog is not allowed anywhere near my dog. If he sees me, he will give this sigh like he can't believe I'm even allowed to exist. So weird, when you think that there are few dogs in this building, you would think that the few who of us who have them would naturally talk and gravitate towards each other (like I have with Lola's friend, Jake's owners, as well as other dog owners in the building). Anyway, I'm really sick of being uncomfortable around this man, so this morning I had taken Lola out and was waiting for the elevator in the basement. Elevator comes and he and his dog get out. He makes his little sigh and calls his dog to quickly come away and brushes past me. As he passes me, this is how the conversation goes:

me: "oh hi"
mean man: "... "
me (a little louder): "Good Morning"
mean man: "..."
mean man is past me now and almost around the corner
me (practically yelling): "GOOD MORNING!"

Mean man makes a kind of noise like, "oh" and sort of half turns back to me like he would say "hi" but it just can't really get it out (like he didn't hear me the first two times. ) I get on the elevator, door closes and I mutter, "asshole".

Casual Friday

I just realized that what I'm wearing today is pretty damn casual: cropped jeans and a t-shirt. Jeans are allowed here, but I try to only wear them once or twice a week and normally I would wear a light cardigan sweater over the t-shirt (along with silver pearls, earrings, etc.) to dress it up a bit. But it's so gawd-awful hot today that I ditched the sweater this morning. So I was just in the Ladies Room and happened to glance in the mirror and thought to myself, 'well, damn. That's kind of pushing it'. Guess I had better go home early then.

Good News

Well, I think I've lost some weight. This morning I tried on a linen shirt that I had purchased at H&M a good number of months ago that ended up being far too tight. So tight that I could barely get it on, and off again. I have tried it on periodically over subsequent months (the last time only a couple of weeks ago, I think) with the result always being that there was no way it could have been worn outside my apartment. This morning I tried it on and... it actually fit. Slightly too tight, but I could have worn it if I wanted to (and if I wanted to wear long sleeves on this grossly oppressive day -- not on your life). Would prefer it to be a little looser, but it really wasn't too bad. When I took it off again, I looked at the label and was surprised to see that it was actually a size smaller than I had expected it to be (which is interesting because H&M tends to run very small, so I wonder why I even bought it in the first place, other than the fact that it's kind of cute and probably only cost $10). Anyway, so a positive step, I think.

Got a pedicure at lunch to help make me feel a little better about the FUEs. So now, here I sit admiring my bright & shiny, dark-pink toes. heh. I'm such a girl.

Oh, and lots of lip gloss helps too...

FUEs

Well, the FUEs are back, although not nearly as bad as last time. Guess I won't be wearing any eye make-up for a while, which is a real bummer because that is one of those very simple things that give me pleasure everyday.

Oh. And it's "harrrrible" in NYC again. Terribly humid and murky. No, I don't think there's a connection (between the FUEs and the H&H).

Why Is It?

Why is it, whenever I cut through Penn Station at lunchtime, I find that I absolutely have to check the "Big Board" to see when the next train to Kew Gardens is leaving? It never fails, I do it every time. You'd think I wanted to make a quick escape or something.

Circle of Friends

On Saturday I ran the Circle of Friends Women's "Mini-Marathon" (10K - 6.2 mile) race. I signed up for it knowing full-well that I was far from ready to run 6.2 miles, but this race has special meaning for me. It's the event that got me started running years ago (I walked it with a work colleague and was impressed and inspired by all the women of all shapes, sizes, ages, degree of fitness, etc. who were running), one year later I came back and ran the thing and was so completely proud of myself. This year the theme was "Circle of Friends", friends encouraging and supporting their friends in quitting smoking -- I have a passionate hatred for smoking, especially as my mother died of lung cancer a few years ago. Anyway, I was hoping to grab some of that old magical inspiration by participating in this race, and I can say the event more than delivered.

I started thinking that maybe I would do this race, way back in February when I started with the NYRRC beginning running class. As I moved forward and it looked like I was sticking with the running this time, it became more and more of a likely possibility. A month or so ago, I also started talking to some local friends about their maybe participating as walkers (it is a walking-friendly event) just because I know how inspiring the race can be and, at the very least, it's a morning in Central Park on a Saturday in June. Life could be worse. Anyway, Michelle and Luminita both became interested, and soon were on board with the idea.

Time has gone on and the running seems to be getting a bit stronger, so I wasn't too worried about finishing. I figured that I would run 3 miles of it, and then anything else I could do after that would be gravy. If worse came to worse, I could walk the second half of the race.

Sometime about a week or so before the race, my father called me and asked if I could do him a favor. My niece, Sophie, was going to be in New Jersey visiting them for a couple of weeks and they had a conflict for one part of her visit and he wanted to know if I could take her on the 11th & 12th. I realized that this caused an issue with my race, so I told him that I would be glad to have her over-night on the 11th, but that I was determined to do this race on Saturday, and Sophie couldn't exactly go wandering around Central Park on her own while it was going on. Well, this caused a whole huge back & forth issue with my father that I don't even know if I want to get into now. The bottom line was that I felt, as much as I wanted to see Sophie and was looking forward to spending time with her, these were important plans that I had had for months and I felt like I was doing my father a favor and was really jumping through hoops to accommodate him, yet he didn't seem to appreciate that this was important to me and that I seemed to be doing all the compromising. We had a big, blow-out fight over the phone on Friday afternoon that resulted in his hanging up on me. Fine. I didn't even care. It's not like he was interfering with plans I had to go out drinking or something. This was important because it symbolized a better direction for my life. This is something I lost a few years ago and I'm trying to get it back. So don't fucking mess with me. Anyway, he dropped Sophie off to me and I was able to make arrangements for her to spend time during the race with Ken who would be volunteering with my father meeting them to reclaim Sophie and THANKFULLY, Sophie being the fantastic kid that she is, was totally okay with everything.

Anyway, back to the race. Saturday had us up at the crack of dawn and out and to the train station with Michelle grousing good-naturedly about the early hour. Already we could see that it was going to be one of those absolutely perfect NYC days. What Paul would call a "Top 10 Day". Crystal clear blue skies, low humidity, unbelievably sunny, temps no higher than 74 or 75. Perfect. We easily made it into Manhattan and up to the Finish Line in the Park where we were meeting Ken. This actually turned out to be a good plan because there were some pre-race entertainment and a lot of activity that always goes hand-in-hand with a big event like this and so Luminita & Michelle were able to catch some of the excitement. It was also good because we were able to play around with Sophie for a while and she was also given plenty of time to become comfortable with Ken before I had to leave. Finally, it was time to make our way to the starting line, about a quarter of a mile away and so we said our goodbyes.

As we got to the Columbus Circle area, I think Michelle & Luminita were able to grasp that this was a pretty big event, by all the hordes of women who had taken over Central Park West. I love races that close CPW, you just feel like a part of something so huge. As we were making our way through the crowds, I was surprised to run into Harriet, also queuing up for the race. I introduced her to Michelle & Luminita and we then decided that we would run at least the beginning of the race together and see from there. After all the announcements and the national anthem, we were finally off. I think it took us about 2 minutes to cross over the start line, but then we were able to run at an easy, conversational pace with out too much zigging and zagging (quite unlike that 5K I had done about a month ago). As we ran up Central Park West I saw ahead two girls who had been in my beginning running class who I talked to about this race. As we ran up alongside them I greeted them -- we all yelled our hellos and Harriet and I pulled ahead. As we approached the West 72nd Street entrance to Central Park, I could see a figure crossing the street with a bike that looked awfully familiar. I said to Harriet, "I think that's my father up there" she was skeptical, seemed impossible to her that I would just happen to run into him, but as we got closer I became more and more convinced it was him. Finally as we pulled closer I yelled out his name and, sure enough, he stopped and turned, it WAS him. We stopped quickly, I told him that Sophie was with Ken, introduced Harriet and said that we were running together, Harriet made some comment about trying to keep up with me, and my father, of course, had to make some comment to the effect of, "well who is trying to keep up with whom? you look pretty good" (and indicating Harriet) meaning that I look like crap? Thanks Dad. Anyway, we kept it very brief and then continued to run. Harriet had her watch set for one minute walk breaks at intervals of ten minutes, so I followed this while running with her and it seemed to work out well. Running with her helped to pace me slow enough that I felt that I could run for a while. As we wound into the Park at 92nd street we turned up a hill and soon hit the 2 mile mark. Those 2 miles just seemed to go so quickly, running easy and having someone to talk to sure makes a big difference. Soon after here however, Harriet received a phone call and, since she was on call, she had to step off the side of the course and take it. I was forced to go on alone. The course was now winding up the hills on the west side of the Park, bringing us North and closer to the infamous Harlem Hills. Since we were running in the "easier" direction, I was determined to run the hills in their entirety this time (last week had only been able to make it about half-way up the big hill on the course). I ran up the back side of the Big Hill by pacing myself behind someone who seemed to be going at a slow enough and steady pace. Problem was, she soon started walking (ARGH!) so I jumped around her and found another runner to pace behind, which only lasted a moment or two before she also started walking. This was how my run up the hill went, weaving from runner to runner to pace behind until I was pretty much the only person running. But I did it, I ran up that whole hill. Not only that, but I got to the top and didn't collapse. I was able to keep going and used that nice, long downhill to recover, while still running. One woman blew past me here and I let her go, knowing that there was an even tougher, and longer, hill on the other side. Sure enough, she started walking very shortly into the next hill and I was able to pass her for good. This hill was much harder on me, and there was no one to pace behind at all, everyone had given up even trying to run it. But run it I did, it was long and brutal, but I was determined to make it and I am proud to say that I did it! Somewhere during the climb I had also passed over the 5K mark, so I knew I was also halfway through. I had accomplished my goal of running the first half of the course and climbing those hills. Whatever happened from here on in was gravy. I had to take a walk break after the brutal series of hills, but soon I was running again. In fact, I believe that the mile I ran after leaving Harriet was the fastest one I ran in the race. Closing in on mile 4, I saw a familiar figure (Ellen) on the hill that winds up along the East Side of the Reservoir, so I sped up as much as I reasonably could to catch her. I finally managed to pull up next to her and after walking a minute to catch my breath, we decided to run together. Ellen had had similar goals for the race, she wanted to solidly run the first half of the race, and just get though the rest, running or walking, depending on how she felt. Since we were together we decided to run as much as we could. Ellen was running a little faster pace than Harriet had been so it wore me out a bit quicker. We had to keep taking walk breaks, but it was okay, we just kept cycling from running to walking and back again. It never became a death match and we never felt like we needed to give up and just walk. There are hills through here too and the day (while delightful for sitting outside or strolling, etc.) was heating up a bit too, so I was happy to be able to do what we did. Right at the 5 mile marker we ran into Ken & Sophie cheering for the runners. They had been sent to marshall the course at that spot. Ut oh, obviously my father had not been able to find Sophie. I told her that he was here in the Park anyway, and we continued on to finish the race. Down around the bottom of the Park, I took my last walk break before the entrance from Columbus Circle. Ellen waved me on ahead and I was able to run up the last length of hill (about .25 of a mile) and to the finish, actually speeding up a bit as I got to the last stretch. As I ran up this part, I saw my father standing there cheering me and watching me finish. A first. (of course it had to be one of my slowest races ever, but at least he was there). Ellen finished right behind me and we both ended up feeling really thrilled that we had been able to do this race, this distance. Ellen was coming back from an injury and hadn't run more than 3 miles at one time in months. I haven't run this distance in about 5 years. We basked in the glow of our euphoria, I introduced Ellen to my father who then moved on to try and find Sophie.

After the race I was happy to regroup with Michelle & Luminita who finished in a very, very good time for walking the distance. Both were over the moon with their accomplishment (even despite some bad chafing for Michelle). Harriet finished soon after that, after having been sidelined by several calls during the course of the race.

Ellen, Ken, Harriet and I moved on to an outside table at Brother Jimmy's for some lunch and beer to do a post mortem on the day. Ellen, Ken and I moved onto to their roofdeck after that for more beer in the sunshine as we just couldn't let go of the spectacular day. I think I finally got home around 10:30 PM or thereabouts. It was a long day, but fun and deeply satisfying. It truly did turn into a Circle of Friends.

I'm So Sick Of This Reagan Mourning Business

Regardless of how you feel about his politics, the man led a pretty good life. He was a movie star, a governor and the President of the United States. The man died at the age of 93. I would say he had a pretty damn good life. Why mourn? Be happy he's out of his misery. I saw one mourner on TV who exclaimed (in tears), "it's so sad! We needed him here watching over our country!" Er, correct me if I'm wrong, but the man was in the late stages of alzheimer's disease. How much do you really think he was "watching over our country"? Personally, I think all this attention on national mourning is a conspiracy by republicans to focus media attention away from the war in Iraq. But then again, I tend to be the suspicious sort. Okay, enough politics for me.

"HARRIBLE!"

I just had to run up to this pet store I know of on the Upper West Side because I realized this morning that we are all out of dog food. Let me tell you something, it is "HARRIBLE" (as Thom of the Fab5 would say) out there. Not a breath of air at all. And about a bazillion degrees. This is what I hate about Summer in NYC. Hot & Humid and no air movement. Bleah. I had to get off of Amsterdam Avenue fast though, I was very, very tempted to duck into a dark bar up there and start drinking cold beer.

Sometimes It Just Doesn't Pay To Be Early

I left work about 15 or 20 minutes early on Friday (which means that I left at about 5 to 5) and felt a little guilty about it, so I busted my ass to get here an hour early this morning (after, oh maybe, 6 hours of sleep) only to find that I was the first one in and there was no one around to witness this stunning feat. Hell, it's 20 to 9 and my boss is still not in! Why do I even bother?

UGH

Up at some ungodly hour to schlep into Central Park for some race or another. Somebody please remind me why I'm doing this again???

Fresh Direct

So, this morning I received my very first Fresh Direct order and I have to say that I am really in love with this idea. In theory, I would love to be able to eliminate pretty much most (if not all) usage of my local grocery store, which I despise. Although daunting at first to spend a shitload of money on a big delivery of food, it is kind of nice to actually have a stocked kitchen for the first time in my life. And if shopping wisely and eating what I have stocked (rather than, say, having half of it rot in my fridge while I'm ordering out Chinese all the time or something) it could actually end up being cheaper in the long run. Those $20 stops at the grocery store in town every other day really add up (not to mention the occasional takeout order from the diner or Chinese or Indian places). I have to say that Fresh Direct is a great option for someone like me, who has limited grocery options and doesn't have a car to drive to a decent store to stock up.

Perfect NYC Day

Today is the sort of perfect day of which we have far too few this time of year in NYC. The specter of Summer heat & humidity is always close in the Spring, so new yorkers relish these few days all the more. Of course it is a perfect day, yet of course it is also a working day. And tomorrow, Saturday, is supposed to be completely crummy with rain all day long. With that in mind, I decided that since I had to run up to the New York Road Runner's Club, that a walk through the Park wasn't a bad idea. So on my lunch "hour" I took a train up the West Side and walked East through the Park. I meandered along the Reservoir Path,

start rant:
with one grimace to the woman who had a stroller parked in the middle of the path -- no strollers allowed on the path. No dogs, no bikes, no-bloody-strollers! There are plenty of wonderful footpaths through the Park, miles & miles of them, you don't need to be up there with your stroller! There is a reason for the rule (and the rule is posted EVERYWHERE), the path is very narrow and is meant mostly for runners and fitness walkers, it's not just there as a damn suggestion. Do you think just because you have a child, the rules do not apply to you??? ("but it's a baaaaay-beeeeeeee" give me a freaking break!)
end rant.

Anyway, sorry about that, where was I? Oh yes, it was a beautiful day and everywhere there were people out enjoying it. I couldn't help but be envious of the people who had had the foresight to take today off,

start rant:
or who don't work in corporate, soul-sucking jobs that require them to waste their lives cramped into a windowless, putty-colored cubicle for hoursweeksmonthsyears...
end rant.

er, anyway, it was nice.

and one other thing...

I am sick and tired of walking into a stall in the Ladies Room here at work and finding that someone has pissed all over the seat! I mean, what kind of person does this? A man will even lift up the seat, rather than piss all over it. Freaking animals.

Committed

Well, I'm committed now. I went off at lunch time on an odyssey to purchase new running shoes. I finally ended up at Paragon Sports on 18th & Broadway where I bought a pair and spent a bloody fortune. So I had better be committed to running now. Dammit.

More Bathroom Drama

Flipped the switch in my bathroom to turn on the light last night and the light blew. Figured that I needed new light bulbs (although weird that two blew at once) so I bought new ones today in Manhattan and just now screwed them in. Guess what? The light still doesn't work! Looks like I'll be showering in the dark again tomorrow morning. What is going on with my damn bathroom? It's been one problem after another since I moved in. I guess it must be the light fixture itself, the nightlight that's plugged into the outlet that shares the switch for the light still seems to be working. Argh! Really wasn't ready to buy some new light fixture right now!

More Match.com Drama

Email from a guy who had sent me a short email of hello (I had replied, I guess he had replied again, and I didn't get back to him right away)

"Subject: whats up ,no reply

where are you, I know you have been on line . Are you mad at me!"

Are you kidding me?

Holiday Is Gearing Up

Well, the holiday weekend has officially begun. Penn Station is currently stuffed with hordes of people, all toting suitcases and duffel bags and backpacks, on their way to their holiday getaways. My concession to the holiday weekend? I ran to KMart to buy a cooler so that I can sit in the backyard of my apartment building and drink beer. Par-tay!

Sometimes I Am Such A Girl

Needed a little pickmeup, so I ran out to Sephora at lunch and bought me some lip gloss. I feel much better now.

Why are the days leading up to a long, holiday weekend always so. agonizingly. slow? It's only one extra day off, but, sheesh! You'd think I was planning a month-long vacation to some exotic locale or something. (And, no, I am not going anywhere. I'll be spending the weekend mostly loafing and trying to convince myself to go for a run or to the gym)

Oops

It totally didn't occur to me until this morning that today is my brother's birthday. Oh well, it's not like the rat bastid ever remembers mine either (or Christmas either, for that matter).

Chrissy was asking me today about Match.com, I've been wanting to blog about my first experience with it, but I haven't had the energy, but then I had the bright idea that I could just copy in our IM conversation about it and save myself the trouble of having to rewrite it all. So here it is:

c(hrissy): hey any interesting hits on match.com
ds(me): I've had a lot of "winks" sent and a bunch of emails
ds: it's a little overwhelming
ds: so weird to be emailing back and forth to someone you don't know at all
c: anyone sound interesting?
ds: a couple
ds: maybe
c: well I guess that's how you can get to know them a little
c: before meeting them
ds: yeah
ds: it's just weird
c: i can imagine
ds: like, what are you supposed to say?
c: i would have no idea
c: what do they say?
c: what have they said I should ask
ds: like, one guy, seems nice enough, sends me an email and says "would you like to get to know each other via email for awhile?"
ds: okay fine
ds: I say "sure"
ds: but he doesn't really ask me anything in the email
ds: so does that mean that the onus is on me to ask all the questions?
ds: or what?
ds: lol
c: lol
ds: and who has the time to sit there and think of this shit
c: i hear ya
ds: well, I could come up with the time, I guess
ds: it's just sort of weird
ds: oh and there was this other guy
ds: I'm thinking of blogging about this
c: what's his story?
ds: I just haven't felt like sitting down and writing the blog
ds: so, I go online the other night
ds: and I go to match.com
ds: match has this little instant msg application that you can use
c: right I saw that when I waslooking at the site
ds: and the default is that it invokes automatically whenever you go to the site
ds: so I hadn't changed that yet
ds: so anyway, some guy instant messages me
ds: no biggie, so I talk to him for a few minutes
ds: he seems interesting enough
ds: has an intersting job, etc.
ds: but then he asks for my "sign"
ds: okay (freak)
c: oh god no
ds: and then he starts going on and on about having found his "darma"
ds: and about the universe
c: oh, ok see ya buddy
c: nice chatting with you
ds: and "oh god when will true love enter my life"
c: ok freak
ds: and I'm already thinking, alright, I've got to get out of this...
ds: when all of a sudden the instant messenger crashes
ds: as does my IE session
ds: so I feel bad b/c I didn't say goodbye, but I hadn't saved his screenname
ds: so I have to bring everything back on and find the website again
ds: and I'm searching through all these profiles trying to find him again (I can't remember his screenname or what town he lived in or anything)
ds: finally (after probably 15 mins or so) I do
ds: and I send an apology via instant msg
ds: you know, "sorry everything crashed, etc."
c: right
ds: well, as I'm doing this I check my email and I have an email msg from him
ds: that says...
ds: wait, I'll cut & Paste it in, I still have it
c: ok please do
ds: "please do"
ds: lololol
c: I can only guess what he wrote
c: lol
ds: the subject line is: "Hi we were chatting"
ds: and this was his email:
ds: "Hi

We were chatting online. I just wanted to point out the reason we have so many relationship problems in this country is because we are not very honerable people. I deal with lots of people overseas and they would never leave a conversation blank like that. they would at least say I must go and thank You. people in this country have little manners.let alone value good will. I just bought a piece of equipment from a person in tawain, he sent it to me and waited until I recieved it , then he said wire me the money. Thats what i call dignity......... I am not insulted, I am very use to this.
Good luck
Michael"

ds: I was so pissed
c: i knew it was going to be something like that
c: idiot
c: did you respond? did he respond to your IM
ds: I wrote back something to the effect of, I'm sorry, but it was not my fault, my system crashed, and I had to search to find your profile again. I suggest you give someone the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions in the future
c: of course he jumped the gun and assumed you didnt want to speak to him
ds: right
ds: but I was really pissed
c: probably because he is a freak and it happens all the time as he stated
ds: esp as I spent a lot of time trying to find him again
c: right
ds: when I wasn't even interested
ds: just as a courtesy
ds: b/c I felt bad
c: right
c: and was just being nice
ds: he was sorry after he had read what happened
c: oh, ok
ds: he wrote this email in reply: "Hi Debbie

You are right. I am just a little match.com burned......sorry did not mean it so brash. Would U like to chat on the phone?

Michael"


ds: and also an IM
ds: but I basically was like, "well, I have to go now, it's been nice talking with you"
ds: later dude
ds: freak
ds: lolol
ds: so that's been my experience on match.com so far
ds: like, I said I was going to blog about that, I just haven't had the energy
ds: I might still do it
c: you should
c: funny

Running

So, last night I returned to running after a brief hiatus to rest my sore shin and my knotted calves, and it was a relief to be back out there, let me tell you. Taking a few days off starts to worry me, like I'm never really going to run again. I start to doubt myself and think that a running future might not be in the cards for me. So it is a great feeling to be able to hit the roads again and run relatively pain-free (still have some soreness and some aches & pains, but nothing to really be concerned with at this point). The run itself went okay. Not great, not horrible. But that's fine, knowing that I'm still in the running is what matters at this point. I wish running was not such an injury-prone activity. I feel like I always ride the cusp between functional and injured. I wish I could just get out there and keep plugging away (the way you can, say, on a stairmaster or something) without the fear of injury. My fitness level is enough of a hindrance, the threat of injury just makes everything so much more dicey and frustrating. On the other hand, perhaps this is also what contributes to making running such a satisfying and thrilling sport and activity. To manage to overcome all your limitations and be able to competently string together a significant number of miles is the greatest feeling.

Is it just me, or has Blogger been really screwed up this week? Everytime I try to view my own blog, I get that the website is not found. Annoying.

Guilty Secret

Now I know that there are going to be some of you out there that will get a big laugh out of this, but I'm going to go ahead and announce it anyway... I just joined Match.com. In a moment of weakness last week I filled out a free profile and then I added a couple of pictures and then this morning, I just officially subscribed. I don't even know why. I don't think I really want to go back into the dating scene, my experience has always been filled with heartache and disappointment, and the internet dating thing adds a whole other level of rejection to the mix (trust me, I know, I've tried it before -- not through Match, but through Yahoo and AOL) and I just don't know if I have a thick enough skin for this. On the other hand, I'm not really doing a whole hell of a lot else with my free time, so it might be worth a shot. Maybe. If nothing else, as I told Chrissy last week, it might make for good blog fodder. I'll keep you posted...

Rant of the Day: Damn US Postal Service Bastards. Idiots had a package to deliver to me today and rather than buzzing me or knocking on my door, they put a notice in my box that it's waiting for me at the Post Office instead. Of course the Post Office only has hours from 8:30-5:00 during the week so now the only time I'll be able to pick the damn thing up is next freaking Saturday. What makes me the most mad is the fact that I WAS HOME when they were here! Lazy bastards probably didn't even bother to bring the package with them over from the Post Office. And the other thing is, the delivery is just dog biscuits from Petco. I think they could even have risked leaving it by my door had I not been home. I hate the USPS. Morons.

and one other thing...

I can't believe that Cher has never had a pedicure before today. unreal.

out for drinks out side at Austin's Ale House. And then Wendy dragged Michelle and me to another bar for a drink and then Carolina & Janos's for a movie and more booze. Oof. Too much...

Walking in NYC (at least in this neighborhood) is not good cross-training for running. I find that I spend so much time dodging smokers, that it becomes a Slalom course, I speed up to jump around one smoker I'm behind, only to find myself behind yet another one. Within a few moments I'm running up the block to get away from them all. So, walking in NYC is not good cross-training for running. It's more like speed-work. Sheesh.

Things that Annoy Me: People who drain the last drop out of the water cooler and then don't replace the damn bottle. I just stood behind a girl who did this. She knew I was waiting for water. She used the last drop and then walked away with no apology. What is wrong with people???

I know that this is totally a cliche and that I say it practically every week, but... I'm so glad it's Friday!

For those who were sitting on the edge of their seat wondering... yes, I did make it to spinning class tonight. So there.

must go spinning tonight. Must go SPINNING tonight. MUST GO SPINNING TONIGHT!

gotta keep telling myself this. I'm tired and unmotivated and uninspired.

There was a job opportunity that was sent in an email today to various technical people in my company (myself included) for a job working as a technical support person in our Melbourne Australia office. Too bad it was supporting a product in which I have little experience -- I would have applied in a heartbeat. Got nothing holding me here!

My legs are tied up in knots. Particularly my left calf and the inside of my right shin (very sore). I tried to run last night and I couldn't, it was just too painful. I'm especially worried about the pain on the inside of my right shin, worried that it will turn into a real injury. ARGH! So frustrating! Just when I thought I was finally going to get some consistency to my running. I think I need to take a couple of days off from running, that is, unless someone thinks otherwise. Tonight at least I'll go spinning. Sometimes spinning helps counteract soreness related to running (although this feels a bit beyond garden-variety soreness). I'm having a bad week.

I've been feeling really fragile for the past couple of days. Easily upset and rather blue and I've been trying to pin-point why. I think a big part of it is my continued dissatisfaction with my working and my living circumstances. I want to change my career path, but I have no clue how to do so or where to start or even what I really want to do (I just know that it's not this). I want to live somewhere where there is a better quality of life for your money too. I love NYC, I really do. But for me to live happily in NYC, I have to live near Central Park (preferably on the Upper West Side) and that takes a lot of money, which brings me back to the stress of being stuck in some corporate job I don't love (if I could even get said corporate job that would pay the right living to live near Central Park, which is extremely doubtful). Additionally, I've been on a bit of a life-style makeover for a while now. People who have been reading my Workout Log know that I am in week 13 of consistently working out and running. And, although this working out business has made me happier than I was before I started, I'm very frustrated that I haven't seen better results. I'm in a little bit better shape, yes. I can run longer and further than I could 13 weeks ago (although, to me, it stills seems a pathetic distance), but I haven't physically changed all that much. Some of my clothes are a little looser on me or are baggy, but I haven't dropped even a true size, I don't think. 13 weeks, that's over 3 months of this. It's all just so demoralizing. I'm not going to stop, it's too important to be fit and to lead an active life, and it does make me feel better, in general. But it is all so disappointing at the same time. I guess it's time to do a re-evaluation of my program. At least I know what to do (for the most part) for the running-workout side of my life, it's the rest of it that has me completely stymied.

I'm in such a bad mood today. Just foul. I think it all started with not getting in my long run over the weekend, I feel like such a failure. Dealing with terrible feminine issues (sorry to any guys out there) never makes me very jolly, and then coming to work knowing that the project that I'm currently working on SUCKS and is going no where fast just topped everything off. Oh and the fact that my apartment could probably qualify for a disaster area right now isn't helping matters much. ARGH! Hopefully things will be better tomorrow.

Fridays lately for me are so damn, dull. By Friday I am so sick of the work week, bored beyond belief with whatever I'm working on and so tired of sitting in the same spot, in the same position for hours & hours at a time. Fridays used to be exciting, they used to be about whatever adventure I was going to have that night. Now they are about white-knuckling it until the end of the work week, when I can finally take that Friday evening train home and relax. I ran downstairs a little earlier to grab a soda and happened to walk past a group of people standing around outside who looked like they were gearing up for the weekend (or the night ahead) spirits were high and you could just read the optimism for fun and high jinxs in their voices. I couldn't help but feel... envious. This used to be me on a Friday afternoon. I all of a sudden felt so very old. On the other hand, the last thing I'm really in the mood for tonight is a night of bar hopping until the wee hours. Maybe it's my job that's making me feel this way. Or maybe I'm just tired. Either way, I am so done with the week already! ARGH!

Boy, I have never been happier to have shun my catholic upbringing than after reading this:

The New York Times
May 14, 2004
Bishop: No Communion for Pro - Choice Voters
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Filed at 9:08 a.m. ET

DENVER (AP) -- Catholics who vote for politicians in favor of abortion rights, stem-cell research, euthanasia or gay marriage may not receive Communion until they recant and repent in the confessional, the Roman Catholic Bishop of Colorado Springs said.

Bishop Michael Sheridan's pronouncement was the strongest yet from a U.S. bishop in the debate over how faith should influence Catholics in this election year.

The discussion of withholding Holy Communion had previously been limited to politicians themselves.




Full article can be read here (registration required).

I'm just sitting here, basking in the afterglow of a pretty good run. Ahhhh, I've missed this feeling...

I was just in the pantry at work and after helping myself to water, I noticed that the water bottle was empty. No biggie, I grabbed another one off the shelf and prepared to replace it when Accounting Woman who happened to also be standing in the room looked at me with horror and said,

AW: "Are you going to be able to lift that yourself???" Uh, yeah.
Me: "Of course."
AW: "I could never lift that."
Me: "Of course you could." (I mean, it's no more than 20 lbs)
AW: "Oh, I couldn't."
Me: "You could. Unless you have a back problem or something."

I hate helpless people.

Presentation over. I suck.

ARGH! I have a presentation to give this afternoon. I hate giving presentations. First of all, I'm terrible at it, it is not something that comes at all naturally to me. But additionally, why am I always scheduled for these things for the end of the day when I'm brain-dead, my audience is even more brain-dead and anxious to get the hell out of their meeting and I've had this thing hanging over my head all. damn. day. ARGH!

I'm very tempted to try one of the new and jazzy Blogger templates now available, but I am afraid I'll lose all my links, etc. from the sidebar. I see that Blogger also now supports and provides comments. I wonder if it's worth my while to switch to the blogger comments or continue on as I have been. I've been pretty happy generally with Haloscan. The comments seem to generally always be available (not like the provider I used before this).

Rant of the Day:

People who don't clean up after their dogs. This is one of the things that drives me absolutely insane! There is so much dog poop in my neighborhood that I am almost embarrassed to own a dog. This morning I was walking Lola and I saw this woman just around the corner of my building's property from where I was standing with these two revolting chihuahua-style dogs. I see one of them hunched over in the pooping position for a couple of minutes and then the woman goes to walk away. I call out to her, "excuse me! Did your dog just poop???" She responds, "Just peed". Well, yeah right. I make my way over there and, sure enough, there is a fresh chihuahua-sized poop exactly where her dog had been hunched just a minute or two before. She fucking lied to me! And of course this woman was long gone by then. Probably booked right out of there as fast as she could. Bitch. Just wait until I see her walking her nasty-ass dogs around the area again. Makes me so mad, I could just spit. ARGH!

Went to bed early last night and so it sure does feel good to be truly well-rested for a change. (what a concept) Even if my asshole upstairs neighbors did wake me up bolt upright from a sound sleep by dropping something heavy suddenly on their bare wooden floor, ARGH! Luckily, I was able to fall right back to sleep and so am not too bitter about it today.

I have to laugh at how impassioned people can be about the weather, myself included. Earlier, a colleague and I were discussing the sudden heat & humidity with disgust. Both of us almost affronted by this turn of events. Like we've somehow been done wrong by some weather entity or something.

I don't think I like the new Blogger interface. Ick.

So, today was Mother's Day and having lost my own mother a couple of years ago, people might expect me to to be a bit weepy or sad, but I don't think I was, too much. Maybe a little sad, but nothing major. I celebrated by going out for a late run, something my mother would have been really, really thrilled to know that I'm doing again. She was very proud of my running you see, coming from a generation of women that did not value physical activity, who actually believed that women shouldn't be too muscular, or too athletic, etc. I've heard of some of my running peer's mothers actually frown on their daughters' running, actually thinking that they could damage themselves somehow, or that they are somehow less feminine for wanting to run. Not my mother. I think she was amazed that both my sister and I grew up to be as physically active as we are (my sister is more so than I am). Ironically, it's my brother who turned out to be the least physically active of the three of us. I think watching us be the athletic adults we became opened up a world to my mother that she never dreamed existed, or could exist, when she grew up (in the 30s & 40s -- she came into adulthood in the 50s), and I believe this inspired her and made her proud of us in a way that I can only try to imagine. I know some of her first questions to me whenever I called her was whether I had run that day, and if so, how far, and, if not, why not. So Mom, this run was for you, Happy Mother's Day, I love you -- wherever you are.

Well, the Friends finale was as uninspired as I expected it to be. In fact, it kind of pissed me off. Why, why, why did they have to have Rachel give up her dream job in Paris, just because Ross decided all of a sudden that he wanted her? The fact that they were going to end up together at the end of the show was a given, however, I think it would have been far more interesting to have Ross follow her to Paris, move to Paris because of his depth of feelings and because this job was important to her. So, I came away from the experience irritated. But perhaps that's just me.

Am I the only one in the universe who is completely underwhelmed by the Friends series finale tonight? I've enjoyed the show off and on over the years, but is this event really worth all the hoopla? Actually, more than the show specifically, I mourn the loss of yet another time slot to probably yet another reality show. Granted, I've been known to watch them from time to time, but even so, most are total crap. Except for The Apprentice, of course.

Too much caffeine. Argh! I knew that second cup of coffee this morning was a mistake. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Bizarro World.

Evil co-worker was just extremely and surprisingly nice to me in the pantry. Actually had a full conversation with her. I wonder if she's been drinking...

I'm very excited. I've just noticed that I've started to get a little muscle definition on my legs, on the outside of my thighs. Runners will know this, you know when you get that little hollow between the two big muscles on the outside of your leg? I remember when I noticed this the first time I started running, well, I'm as excited about it now, as I was about it then. heh.

Went to the Doctor this morning, she seemed to think it was some kind of allergic reaction to something. I have to pick up some kind of topical steroid from the pharmacy downstairs. Hopefully that will take care of my creeping crud. In the meantime, here I sit at work in front of my computer with my sunglasses on.

Swollen Shut.

I wrote in my Workout Log (link also on sidebar) that I felt that I got a bit sunburned at the race on Saturday. Well, yesterday my eye lids and the skin around my eyes and the top part of my checks were a little itchy and slightly swollen. Well, this morning I woke up to find that my eyes were all but completely swollen shut! Think: the final scene in Rocky. It's is very uncomfortable, not to mention startling to look at (I can see a little better out of my right eye, than my left). Did the sun cause this??? I'm not red with sunburn or anything. I broke my sports sunglasses over the Summer last year, and so I didn't wear a pair while running on Saturday, but I've run plenty of races and regular runs in the heat and sun without sunglasses before. This is truly bizarre. I called in sick to work, can't go out in public like this, I even wore big sunglasses to take Lola out, even though it is raining and storming outside. Does anyone have any ideas of what I should do? Right now I'm icing the area. Strangest running injury I've ever had.

So, today I ran the Revlon Run/Walk for Women's Cancers and it was rather insane. Hordes of people. Literally 10s of thousands of them, most planning to walk the thing. I got there early because I didn't want to have to rush and I wanted to try and enjoy the event a bit, so I thought I would watch some of the pre-race entertainment. That turned out to be rather fun as well as inspiring, but at about 5 to 9 (race started at 9:15) I decided I had better start making my way towards the Start Line, as I was still about 6 or more blocks away and I knew that most of this pack would be walking (evidenced by the plethora of big backpacks, jeans, small children, etc.). As I wormed my way along, I was dismayed to see stroller after stroller packed into the crowd of race participants, many of them double and even triple strollers -- ACK! There were also a surprising number of dogs, which I think personally is a mistake in such a crowd. I know Lola (normally an incredibly social dog) would have been traumatized by 10s of thousands of people packed in together like sardines. Anyway, I managed to get to about maybe 2 or 3 blocks from the Start Line before I could really no longer move forward. Once the race finally started, it was the slowest shuffle imaginable to that start line, where I finally started to run, very slowly and dodging great clusters of walkers everywhere. It was very frustrating as the runners here were definitely in the minority. Dodging groups of walkers, innumerable strollers, people walking with small children, ARGH! It was truly an obstacle course. Surprisingly, I was really able to maintain a slow running pace, with lots of zig-zagging back and forth across 7th avenue, a few places where I had to come to a complete stop for a breath of a heartbeat and then a duck around whatever obstacle had stopped me, a few jumps up onto the sidewalk, a dodge along the curb to ditch yet another walking group and soon we were in the Park. On the bottom part of the Park I jumped off the Park Drive and onto a worn path through the grass next to the drive that the runners had adopted, it was here that a tree root grabbed my ankle and I tripped spectacularly, almost went down, but managed to recover and keep going. Wound around West and up the hill towards Tavern on the Green (across the NYCM finish line) and finally I allowed myself a walkbreak, about 12 minutes of running in and to the first mile. Yes, a 12/min mile, just shoot me now. After a minute of walking, it was off to run again and straight up hill along the West Drive. I was determined to run for a 10 minute interval because that is what we are now doing in class, yet it was up hill. Up, up, up, ARGH! Did I mention it was hot? It was so hot. And humid! Gah! Managed to make my 10 minute interval. Barely, but I did it. Of course, once I made it, I had reached a lovely down hill. Sucks ASS! After this effort, I just had to walk for a bit. Had a bad side stitch and was slightly content that I had at least done my running class homework, I figured that anything was gravy at this point. Unfortunately, the timing of my walk break put me near these two girls that were having the most inane conversation, I kept trying to walk faster to get away from them, but I just couldn't seem to walk fast enough, my side stitch was killing me and not allowing me to run again, so I had to endure it (I kept thinking, 'gah! I've got to get away from them, they're making me crazy' -- LOL). Anyway, eventually I was able to run again and managed decent intervals from here on in. The one walk break had lasted a long time, maybe 4 or 5 minutes, but subsequent walk breaks were relatively short and the running intervals were longer than I thought I would be able to do at this stage. Finally wound through the 102nd Street Traverse and out to the East Drive and finished very shortly after that turn. Was I ever glad to stop running.

After the race, the race officials had everyone walking along the East Drive for another 1/4 - 1/2 mile to the East Meadow where the everyone was directed to pick up their goody bags and t-shirts. After this I meandered West again, strolled along the footpaths past the tennis courts and way over West to where my friend Stephen was having a birthday party for his son (I had said I would stop by if I could). The hordes of walkers where still packed on the West Drive here and so it was a little complicated crossing over, but I managed and found the playground where the birthday party was happening. Stayed and chatted for a few minutes and had some coffee but then had to move on as I was scheduled to meet Ellen and Ken. Walked South on the footpaths alongside the Park Drive where the event participants were still moving forward. Passed the 2 mile mark (I was going in reverse) and the race clock here read 1:15. An hour and fifteen minutes and there were still thousands of people coming. I just wonder how long these people had to stand in Times Square before they were able to move forward at all. Nobody appeared to be moving very quickly, but an hour and fifteen minutes is a long time for anyone to cover 2 miles. Anyway, I finally, eventually, put the event behind me and made it down to the West 72nd Street entrance to Central Park where I met Ellen & Ken. We then moved on to the City Grill for a nice lunch and a couple of beers.

During the event I really cursed myself. I told myself I could have slept until a reasonable hour and still gotten out and gotten my requisite run in. But now, looking back, I remember feeling awake and alive waiting for the train so early, early this morning. I had forgotten how good it can feel to be up and out and on the way to a race on a Saturday. And that feeling of relief and pride once the race is done (no matter how poorly you've done) can't be beat either. Lastly, running in any event, whether it be a race or a charity event such as today, really pushes you past what you are ordinarily willing to put yourself through on a regular training run, so there is value to that. So, all in all, a positive experience. My slowness is just depressing beyond words. I think my slowness bothers me more at the moment than my inability to run much mileage. I just have to forget about speed for a little while. As I get back to running, some of my old pace (not that it was blazing, even way back when) will come back. Hopefully I will also lose some weight, which will also help. Once I can comfortably run a certain amount and can do so consistently, I can worry more about speed, now is not the time and I have to keep reminding myself that.