Jumping Night

I had a really lovely ride last night. This is a jumping week, we’ve actually had a couple week break from jumping due to the transition from the Summer location to the Winter barn, but this week they had the indoor set up with jumps finally. I feel like I’m making progress, of course I still have a looooong way to go to get even back to where I was in my former riding life. And really, are we ever finished making progress and improving in anything that requires any effort or technique or whatever? Anyway, so after a short warm up, Alison started putting together little jump courses for us. First let me say that I’ve been working on canter transitions with Lulu and these have gotten SO much better. She picks up the canter pretty much right away for me now and we also almost always get the correct lead, even on her “bad” side. It’s not perfect by any means, but really I feel like it’s 100% better than it was just a few weeks ago. I’ve either improved a lot or have learned how Lulu needs to be ridden. Probably some combination of both.

Anyway, so back to jumping. The very first time I jumped Lulu, back when I was trying her out when thinking about leasing her, I had a blast. But I also felt like I was fighting with her over the fences, really battling her to not rush the jumps. And then I think something clicked with me the day we did the “Ladies Outing” to the cross-country course. We ended that day with such a wonderful, lovely collected course round that I’ve had in my head ever since. It’s amazing how a near perfect and wonderful-feeling and thrilling jump course can stay with you like that. Anyway, so it’s been in my head ever since and it was in my head last night while I jumped too. Jumping in the indoor was a different experience, since it’s smaller, the turns are tighter and you end up at each jump much sooner. So it doesn’t leave you much room for disorganization, you have to think constantly and plan carefully and react quickly. And remaining balanced and collected becomes even more important too. So it was a blast, I made a point of collecting Lulu before each fence, trying to keep her quiet and organized around the turns, etc. And I think we did a pretty good job over all. It wasn’t perfect by any means, and I still need to work on plenty of stuff, including my body position, but I think I’m getting it. I think the body position has improved a bit too, even though it still needs work. A couple of months ago I was throwing myself forward quite a bit and doing this big crest release even over the tiniest of jumps. I think I am now more balanced and my release is more reasonable, but I have to constantly remind myself and think about my position. But when I do, and when I keep Lulu balanced and collected towards a fence, everything usually works out very, very well and feels pretty fantastic (there is just nothing like having a successful jump course, the adrenalin alone will have me gasping for breath). One thing that I am very careful about is hand position, no matter what happens on a jump, I am very careful about not catching Lulu (or any horse) in the mouth. Even if we catch an awkward distance and I get left slightly behind, I seem to automatically slip my reins so that she isn’t chucked in the mouth. It makes it more difficult on the other side of the fence of course, because you are then in a position of the horse galloping away and you’ve got no contact at all, so it’s a scramble to gather up the reins quickly, but still it’s preferable to the alternative. I’ve never heard Alison correct me here, where I HAVE heard her correct others for catching a horse in the mouth, even suggesting that someone “grab mane” to make sure their hand position ends up in the right place, or that they don’t get left behind with that result. But she’s never had to do that with me, so that must be one thing that I’m doing right at least.

Anyway, so I felt last night that each course we did was a little better than the one before. I am no longer fighting with Lulu down to a fence. She is a bit strong, but does collect and listen to me and we’re much more of a team. And it’s FUN! Boy is it fun! Thrilling and fun. And we’re just jumping pretty small stuff right now. I can’t imagine how I’ll feel if I ever graduate to bigger stuff.

One More Day

I am one day closer to my little mini-vacation. I really am disproportionately excited about have a few days off to just hang out around at home and do errands and stuff. Pretty pathetic.

A Sign of the Times

A sign of how hopeless and freaked out I feel about the current economic climate: I purchased two lottery tickets this week. I never buy lottery tickets. I feel so stupid, but also, I feel so little control about the future right now that $2 for a little hope I guess is kind of cheap.

Oh and (by the way) I didn't win. Of course. Sheesh.

In a Funk

Gosh it’s been a long time.

I’ve been sort of in a funk. My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. I hate my birthday, it just puts me in a bad mood for some reason. Something about it just makes me feel really lonely for some reason. Normally I don’t mind and actually even sort of like being single, but on my birthday I really feel alone and sad about that. Holidays a little bit too, but nothing is as bad as my birthday. This year was even worse because my birthday happened to also be the day that they decided to do layoffs at my company. I was surprisingly and irrationally resentful of that. Even though we knew that the layoff was coming, it was an incredibly stressful and upsetting day. A couple of people from my group who I had been working with for years were let go, one was the person who actually hired me three years ago. And there have been others from other groups who I had worked with here and there who I’ve since found out were laid off. It all really hit far too close to home for comfort. I was desperate to make something positive out of that ugly day and so managed to run down to the barn and ride Lulu for about half an hour or so. I wanted to do something that was just for me and so at least I managed that. Being around horses comforts and soothes me, and while I ride I rarely think of anything else but what I’m doing that very moment. I can’t think of anything else that I do where that is true.

Since then the depression has really lingered, I’m having trouble shaking it off. I feel unsettled and stressed and worried constantly. I also feel very sensitive, that the wrong word from someone will upset me to tears. I hate this feeling but don’t really know what to do to pull myself out of it now since I really think it’s situational. Maybe taking a few vacation days will help some – at least I’ll have next Wednesday through Friday off. I was going to take the whole week off, but work is too busy right now. Of course being busy at work is a GOOD thing, but it does also add to the stress.

Anyway, so I’m kind of a mess right now. In a serious funk and kind of emotional. I have to find some time to run more or something, I’ll bet that would help pull me out of it.

Seen Tonight At the Vet

Two husky, rustic-seeming country boys walking in together with an itty-bitty, frou-frou Yorkshire terrier. Cracked me up!

Under the category of "WTF???"

Today. Pretty much empty gym. All treadmills are free. I get on one and start running, not even a minute later chick comes by and gets on the treadmill directly beside me. Right. Next. To. Me. Out of six treadmills! I mean, WTF??? Maybe after living in a city for so many years I have a different sensitivity to personal space issues or something, but ... sheesh!

ATF Ladies Outing

Yesterday I was lucky enough to re-work my schedule so that I could take a vacation day and attend the Apple Tree Farm Ladies Outing. Alison organized the outing for the adult women of the barn so that we could go off-site to try some cross-country jumping at a different location, do some trail riding, have a nice lunch and socialize and get to know each other a little better in a relaxed and non-rushed environment. Because of weather, the outing had been postponed and rescheduled twice, before they managed to hit on a day where the conditions were favorable. That turned out to be lucky for me as I couldn't have gotten the time off for any of the other dates, so it really worked out well.

We all arrived at the barn around 8:30 AM and managed to get the horses groomed, wrapped and on the trailers and ready to go by around 9 AM or so. Not sure how we managed all that so fast, but we pulled it off. We did the short drive down to Groton, MA, unloaded, tacked up, mounted and hit the trails pretty quickly. I had never trail ridden Lulu before and so I didn't know what to expect from her. Horse personalities can change dramatically from ring, to trail, to field, or whatever. The calmest, slowest, most sedate animal in the ring can become a spooky nutjob on the trail. But Lulu was great. She was excited, while everyone walked, she liked to do an excited jogging dance. But the whole way listened to me and kept very nicely on the bit. Even though a sedate ride, she made things a little more interesting. Such personality.

Anyway, after we got back from the trail, we moved over to the big cross-country jumping field. We all spread out and started trotting and circling the area to check out the footing and to allow the horses to take a good look at everything. Lulu was very interested in everything around her, attentive and alert, but not spooky. She also was a bit strong, excited to be out in the open and so moving very forward, much more fresh and quick than she usually is in the ring.

Once we had warmed up around the field. Alison told me that I could jump one of a series of jumps nearby as a warm-up. I picked the medium-ish one in the middle and Alison had to laugh that I picked one of the "bigger" choices as a warm-up. Hey, it was still pretty small! Anyway, after trying out a few jumps here and there, she started putting together courses for people. She had warned me at the beginning that Lulu was still pretty green cross-country and might try to run out or stop on me, but she was actually jumping nicely for me (or I was able to ride her balanced and confidently enough to keep her steady and going well over everything). So, I was happy to realize that she felt confident enough in me and in Lulu and me together to give us some of the more advanced courses to do. Nothing was really all that intimidating, so I wouldn't call anything we did truly "advanced" (and nothing in that field is beyond Beginning Novice level anyway), but still, I did feel like I had made some progress in her eyes, or she saw some potential in me or something.

Anyway, we did a few different courses and then at the end Alison had me do one last one. I started Lulu out slow and steady, breaking into a collected canter as we rode into the first fence. It had been my intention to trot in between the various jumps because Lulu can get fast and strong with jumping, and especially out cross-country where things are more exciting for her. And then you add the greenness factor and whatever, so I wanted to keep her organized and under maximum control. However, after that first fence, I slowed her, slowed her, slowed her to bring her down to trot, and she just slowed down her canter to the point where she was just cantering so lovely and collectedly & slow, round, on the bit, the nicest canter I've ever had out of her. Maybe out of any horse, I don't know. Anyway, it was so nice, I kept it there and we did the nicest, most collected jumping round that I have done in many, many years (in decades really, I had actually forgotten what it feels like). I managed to balance her over every fence, she would get a little strong after the jump, but I would bring back, down, down, down, almost wanting to come back to trot, but not quite and she would give me that nice, lovely, round, on the bit canter again. It was really, really lovely and just such a fantastic feeling. The feeling you get when pretty much everything seems to go right. I really loved her for that, she showed me a side of her that I had only seen little glimpses of before now. She also showed me a little bit of the rider that I used to be too, and I'm thankful for that.

Afterwards, Alison told me that my body position was much better and that the round went well. I also over-heard a number of other people comment to Alison that Lulu seems to have come a long way. I like to think that part of it might have been my riding (or ability to ride her to her potential) and part our partnership. But maybe I'm flattering myself again. Anyway, the ride over-all was wonderful and a lot of fun and I ended it extremely satisfied with myself and very happy with Lulu. I have to say that I like her a little more every time I ride her.

After the riding we had a wonderful lunch of chili & corn bread and mac & cheese and apple cider and other stuff. And we got to all chat and get to know each other better. Turns out one of the women used to live on Martha's Vineyard (where my family used to have a Summer home and where I spent many years riding all over the island). Turns out she had ridden at many of the same places that I had and knew a lot of people who I had known. It was a real kick to talk about "the old days" with someone who knew the places and people from my past.

What a wonderful day. I so rarely take a vacation day and actually end up going somewhere or doing something other than just loafing around, so it really was very nice to have such a day. I ended it exhausted of course, but it was so much fun and so satisfying. I just love this horsey life.

More People Who Suck

* People who don't understand the concept of gridlock. Or rather how to avoid being part of the problem. Here's a tip: if you see that you can't clear the intersection, then you don't go. Simple. (Apparently not so simple for some idiots, or perhaps they're just more people who feel that the rules do not apply to them).

Of course, there probably haven't been too many gridlocks seen in this little town in New Hampshire, but today is an important voting day and everyone had the same idea to get there early. It took me about 30 minutes to go about .7 of a mile. Yep, but I got 'er done (I hope we have some good news to wake up to tomorrow morning, I really, really do.)

Crap Day

Have you ever had such a stressful, crappy, no-win kind of a day that you feel like you're constantly about to burst into tears at any second? Where you are literally hyperventilating all day long? Yep, that's the kind of day I had. Here's to hoping that tomorrow will be a better one. Please God.

People Who Suck

* People who think that traffic signs such as "YIELD" do not apply to them (usually people who drive Cadillacs or Lexuses)

* People who think that 40 MPH in a 30 MPH zone is not an adequate speed and thus think that tail-gating is an appropriate response.

* People who can see how jammed my Outlook calendar already is, yet think it's okay to invite me to yet another useless, time-wasting meeting. After all, I can always catch up with my actual work after 8 PM most nights.

* Other people who do not even bother to check afore-mentioned jammed Outlook calendar before inviting me to yet another useless, time-wasting meeting.

* People who think I can just drop everything to run into Boston for yet another meeting (maybe not a useless one), disregarding any other work obligations I might have. Not to mention the cost to park ($12) and gas and whatever.

It's usually not a good sign for the coming work week ...

... that I'm completely knackered at 5 PM on Sunday. Not a good sign at all.

Seen Today in the Ladies Room at Work

Woman snorting/snuffling water up into and through her nose and blowing it back out into the sink. Over & over again. In a public, shared bathroom. Into a public sink that everyone uses! Gah! I mean, seriously. Am I the only one who is revolted by this??? What is wrong with people?

Hunter Pace 10.26.2008

A picture of Panzer, with Shauna (who was kind enough to hold him for me so that I could take the picture).

Yesterday I rode in the Hunter Pace event that I had mentioned earlier in the week. I knew that it was going to be fun, but I don't think that I truly appreciated what a total blast it was really going to be. I can't imagine having more fun. I arrived at the barn early, early, early to help with all the barn chores before we could leave. I worked putting out horses, hauling water, picking stalls, throwing hay, etc. for three and a half hours! I was exhausted before the day even began. Finally we were loading the horses around 10:30 AM -- it was funny, Panzer had been loaded, but Ro's husband apparently hadn't been quick enough to secure him from the front, because the next thing I knew, he had run out the other part of the trailer and was running down the road! So, I got a little extra exercise running down the street chasing a loose horse. Sheesh!

I had the pleasure of riding to the event with two other adult riders, Sandie and Shauna. It was wonderful to have this opportunity to get to know some other adults who ride. Both women are extremely nice and I was so happy to be with other horsey, like-minded people. We arrived at around noon or so and got ourselves registered, tacked up, mounted (can I say that I am proud to have been able to mount from the ground? Usually I use a mounting block), got sorted out and started off. Shauna and I and a friend of Ro's who is a seasoned eventer, Amelia, decided to all ride together since we were riding in the same division. Shauna has been riding at the barn for about a year and Amelia used to ride there, before she bought her own horse property. I was the unseasoned member of the group, but was in pretty good company. Anyway, they let us out of the starting "gate" and we just started trotting easily down the road. We hadn't gone even ten feet before we got to a big puddle, I just directed Panzer to it, figuring he would just trot simply through. Well. Instead he took this huge, unexpected leap over it. I almost fell off! Managed not to, but lost both stirrups and murmured to myself, "well, this doesn't bode well."

When we got to our first jump (a stone wall with a tree trunk topping it) at the edge of a field, I realized that I was in for trouble. The fence was pretty freaking big! I skipped that one, but started jumping some subsequent "HUGE" fences that we came across not too far beyond it. I didn't want to get to the end realizing that I hadn't given jumping a try. I didn't want to be a wuss and I knew that I used to jump stuff like this, so I figured, what the hell. Added to my unease was the fact that I had only ridden Panzer once before and had only hopped him over a little cavelletti or something a couple of times. Anyway, so I took him over a series of two or three fences strung together and realized that he jumps really, really big! It feels like he gives himself a good foot of extra space over obstacles. And he jumps really round too. "Round" meaning that he really rounds his back and moves athletically through the jumping motion. It's beautiful to watch a horse who jumps this way, but it sure is harder to ride through. You have to be right there with the horse and when the horse is on the back side of the jump (coming back down from the jump) it almost feels like he disappears out from under you. Anyway, over every fence that we took, I could feel the expression on my face, eyes wide open, big and round, mouth wide open in a big, round "O" -- kind of like a silent "OMG!!!" (As in, "OMG, I can't believe I'm doing THIS!!!"). After the first series of fences, Panzer just kind of took off -- galloping after Amelia's horse (who, by the way, is an off-the-track thoroughbred -- former racehorse. Uh, Hello!) And so I expended a lot of energy getting him back under control. WHOA! It was wild. Anyway, after that series, we all decided to take it easy and pick and choose what we wanted to jump and to ride easily on the parts between all the obstacles. Amelia jumped everything we came across and Shauna & I picked and chose what we felt comfortable with. I jumped so much more than I thought in the beginning that I was going to. Amelia's encouragement helped, I really appreciated her input and I guess I just got a little brave. Jumped lots of BIG, solid fences (each complete with the "OMG" expression on my face). It was so exhilarating! Now, looking back on the day I am both proud of myself and wishing that I had tried a few of the fences that I had bypassed (out of about 29 jumps, I jumped about 8 or 10 of them). Still, I wanted to end the day in once piece, so it seemed smart to be a little conservative. In between the jumps, we all did a lot of chatting. Amelia shared a lot of her eventing experiences and advice and we all bonded over similar interests and appreciation for each others' input, experience and abilities. I was proud that I could keep up and participate with these two.

We finally finished the course about three hours or so after we started. It was an absolutely gorgeous day (almost 70 degrees and brilliant sunshine on October 26th, that doesn't happen too often) and the perfect thing to be doing on such a lovely Sunday. When we made it back to the trailers, we hooked up with our other group who had been entered in the easier division and had finished a few minutes before us.

Ro told me later that she had heard that I did very well and that she knew that they had kind of thrown me into this. So I'm very glad that I ended up being up for the challenge. The size and the difficulty of the obstacles I jumped give me the hope that I'm actually capable of more than perhaps I've been thinking I am. Amelia and a couple of other people that I talked to actually assessed the difficulty of the course as eventing trial level of "Novice" (which is harder than it sounds, the levels for a recognized eventing start at Beginning Novice, it takes some serious work to get to "N" status). Anyway, the height for most was around 3 feet, much bigger than I had been doing these past two months, that's for sure.

All-in-all it was a fantastically fun, exhilarating day. Exhausting, but so. much. fun. Panzer was a trooper too, a big enthusiastic lug-love of a horse.

Updates and Stuff

Work has been really crazy for the past couple of weeks. I went from a very steady, reasonably calm pace to insanity practically overnight. I can't say that I haven't in general been enjoying the work, actually I feel purposeful and engaged and even somewhat effective, so that part is great. But I end the weeks completely wiped out (this week having worked 10-11 hours most days) and with this vague feeling that I haven't gotten enough work done. Also, the crazy work schedule hasn't left much time at all for working out and that leaves a very unsatisfying feeling to the week as well. Still, this week I did manage two personal training sessions, one very good and hard (for me) interval running session and three rides with Lulu, including one jumping training session. So at least I've managed something. But spinning completely fell to the wayside as each evening had me on conference calls with one of my customers, and I didn't run nearly as much as I wanted to. All-in-all, I feel like I can do better with my week, I just have to sort it out and be more organized and motivated. And get more sleep. Maybe I can manage some early morning stuff. It probably wouldn't have worked this week as I had 8 AM meetings all week, but next week it might be more of a possibility. If I can get my butt to bed early enough anyway (sheesh).

Tomorrow I am riding in the Hunter Pace event that I wrote about last week. I'm going with Barn #1 and am going to ride "Panzer", the horse that I rode last Saturday. I was surprised to learn this week that apparently Barn #2 also may be going to this thing -- ack! My two riding worlds are about to collide! Well, in the interest of avoiding at least some awkwardness, I told Alison about my plans to go to this thing with the other barn and, as expected, she doesn't care. It's Ro that I'm really concerned about, she doesn't know that I'm also riding at the other barn and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Anyway, tomorrow should be interesting. If anything, it should be a lot of fun, it sounds like a blast to me. I mean, galloping over fields and trails, jumping various obstacles, etc. Uh, hello??? Who wouldn't want to do that? FUN! I hope that I remember to bring my camera.

Barn #2 is planning this Ladies Outing for this Wednesday that I had hoped to take a vacation day and participate in. They are trailering out to the Groton Pony Club and are going to do a cross-country training session on their outdoor jumping course. Then they're taking a trail ride which will be followed by a picnic lunch. Besides the fun of jumping cross-country and the trail riding, it would have been a nice opportunity to get to know some of the adult women at the barn. However, work is too crazy right now and I have time commitments for a bunch of the stuff I'm working on, so I don't think I can really in good conscious take the time off right now. I AM hoping to take Thanksgiving Week off however, but maybe things will be a little quieter then and I won't have to feel stressed or guilty about it. So anyway, I'm very disappointed about having to miss the Ladies Outing, but I don't think I would have enjoyed myself as much anyway, thinking of all the stuff that I had to drop in order to go.

So my days have been pretty busy lately. I feel like I am constantly in a rush, flying from one thing to the next, but I generally feel pretty satisfied too. I am working on the riding, I am frustrated sometimes with how much I feel like I suck. But I have to keep reminding myself that I've really only been back riding for about two months (even a little less) after a 22 year hiatus, so I just have to be more patient with myself. I'm doing everything that I can, taking good solid training, doing the half-lease, riding as much as I can. I'll get better, it just takes some time. Work is great, but with the economy going the way it is, I have this constant "heart-in-my-throat" feeling lately. Almost a panic really. It's an especially panicky feeling as there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it. I want to know that my job is safe and will continue to be safe, but in these unstable times, no one can really promise something like that and I find it extremely unsettling. Still, most people are probably in this same boat, so if nothing else, I guess I have good company. All-in-all though, I have to say that life is good. Very good.

Grown Adults Who Act Like Babies

Sometimes people piss me off. So, I'm working on this project with an internal customer. My job is to talk to the various business units and extract the relevant reporting requirements for their new reporting application as well as identify any new data feed issues and table requirement dependencies, etc. Yeah, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, so these are all very reasonable, but also very busy professional people and the application deadlines are all extremely tight. Just getting the requirements alone is a huge chore. Okay fine. So I met their developer last week and when I was introduced I said, "Oh so I hear you used to work at Old Company!" (Old Company being my previous company). He gave me a look like I was completely crazy and said, "I never worked at Old Company", with a sort of inflection and expression that almost said, 'I would never deign to work there'. Okay then. So I've been working very closely with my business contact at this group who is extremely busy, but very helpful to me and is the bottom line in certain decisions. So a requirement came out of a meeting last week to possibly add some enhanced functionality to a parameter input for a report (as in, "wow, it would be great if it could do THIS"). I added a note into the document that I'm writing that said we would have to explore how easy it would be to do and then wrote a subsequent email that said that if it requires extensive engineering (and I believe that it does) then that it should perhaps be an out-of-scope item. Weird Developer Guy (WDG) had sent an email looking for help from other technicians in that group to help with this item. I had mentioned that I had written a program for a prototype a couple of years ago, so that I knew this functionality can work with this tool, but I only knew the report scripting part of it and not the front-end piece as that had been done by someone else. WDG wrote back to say that he would like more detailed info from me about how I did what I did two years ago, with code examples and detail and whatever. In the meantime, my business contact who is managing the project wrote back (to everyone) confirming and backing up my statement that this functionality should be an out-of-scope item. In my opinion, we don't even have the basic report yet -- stuff like this should be looked into as an enhancement patch or second release.

Anyway, so I ended up at 6 PM tonight on an impromptu conference call with the business contact and a D/B guy. And while we're in the call, they threw a couple of questions over the wall to WDG and each time I could hear him whining and bleating about how I don't answer his emails. What?! So, I'm asking, "What emails? The only email I have from him that I haven't answered was the one about the code examples and detail for that enhanced functionality that we're not even going to do. Frankly, I didn't think it was very important" (and I still don't). Business Contact had to interrupt our meeting to find out exactly what WDG was talking about and confirmed that, yep, that was it. He was all pissy and petulant that I hadn't returned his stoopid email about this thing that we've decided isn't even in the scope of the project. Not to mention that it would take me a while to dig up the information he's looking for as it is on a server and environment with a customer that I'm not even working with anymore. I'm not even sure if I have still have access to it and if I do, it's still going to take some searching. Sheesh! This is a grown adult working as a contractor for a very corporate business group, at a very corporate company in the middle of Boston. Are you kidding me? Business Contact told me not to pay any attention to him. I just don't have time for this crap! GAH.

A Picture of Lulu

I took this after our ride today. Isn't she cute?

Horses & Riding

Yesterday was my lesson on Lulu. Alison is away for the weekend to a horse trial (3-Day Event) and so we had Danielle as our sub. This is a "flat" week, which means we work on our dressage, no jumping. I prefer the jumping lessons (as most people probably do), but I feel like I get a lot done in the flat lessons, I feel like I work a lot harder, so I do appreciate their value. Yesterday I really made a point of working hard the entire time, even when just walking. It's so easy to be lazy, but I was very conscious about using my seat and my legs strongly with every single stride. And it sure is hard work! But after the lesson I felt deeply satisfied that I actually accomplished something. I also felt like I did SO much better than the last time I had a purely flat lesson like this. Oh and Lulu was great. She actually collected nicely for me, much better than she had the week before and better than I thought she would for me, so I was very pleased. I'm really looking forward to getting to know her better through my lease. Tomorrow is my my day to ride her (on my own) so I'm looking forward to spending some nice time with her.

Today I went to the other barn. But when I got there, it turns out that I had signed my name on the calendar for Friday, instead of Saturday (I have no idea how I managed that one, sheesh). Anyway, Ro was nice enough to let me ride anyway, she figured it had been a mistake and she had a horse she wanted me to ride. "Panzer" is a very nice Morgan cross gelding who I thought was a real sweetheart. Ro says that he needs some more experienced riders to ride him as he tends to drift a bit (doesn't like to keep a straight line), likes to suddenly stop, needs help bending and has issues with the canter -- picking it up, going too fast, etc. I actually had no trouble with him drifting, stopping or bending and the canter wasn't perfect, but Ro was impressed with how well we worked together. She then brought me outside and had me pop over a few jumps with him, which was fun. We ended on a high note after a very nice jump over a fence she had raised a little higher.

Ro had wanted me to try Panzer out today because next Sunday she wants me to ride him in a Hunter Pace -- which is a low-key sort of horse show, basically you gallop through a cross-country field, or series of fields and take a few jumps here or there, it sounds like a total blast! She also someday wants me to come with her to a fox hunt (maybe on Panzer) -- something I have ALWAYS wanted to do. By the way, for those who are worried that they would actually be hunting foxes, please know that this does not involve the killing or even chasing of a fox. They basically drag a scent for the hounds to follow, which actually makes it easier to plot a great course for the field to enjoy. Anyway, so I said yes to the Hunter Pace for next week as it sounds like a pretty relaxed event and like a lot of fun. Since it's on Sunday, it means that I will miss one of my days with Lulu, but this sounds like such a great time, so I'm willing to make the sacrifice. I hope I can handle it! It's been a long time since I've galloped cross-country and over obstacles and I have only ridden Panzer the one time. Well, the idea is just to have fun, no pressure to perform or anything, so I think it will be okay.

Horse Obsessed

God help me but I spent a bunch of time last night looking at saddles online.

I'm thinking of this one.

They also make a dressage version.

I can see how I am quickly becoming deeply immersed into a horsey life, I'm becoming obsessed! I'm sitting here thinking, 'hmmmm I wish I had time at lunch today to run up to the barn and see Lulu'. Not to ride mind you, just to SEE her and maybe give her an apple or something. I seem to be becoming yet again that horse-crazed girl I was from early childhood through my early 20s. I wonder how long I'll hold myself off before buying a horse -- or worse, a horse property (certainly I can't afford that. Can I?)

But I think about horses constantly. I dream about them, I read about them, I peruse "horse-for-sale" ads online. I look at pictures of horses (particularly pictures of people jumping their horses) and videos of people riding. Soon I'll probably take to plastering my bedroom walls with horsey pictures and drawing horses in the margins of my notebooks during meetings or something. Sheesh.

Things I Hate

Carrots in soup. Yuck.

Horse Update

So, I've decided to move forward and take the lease on Lulu. I am both a little nervous and very excited. The lease starts this Sunday! (I hope it's a nice day.)