Beginner Blues: CrossFit 06/30/2014

I am not sure how much I've spoken about the women at CrossFit, but let me tell you how amazing they are. In any given class, most of them are doing pull-ups or Toes-to-Bar without any assistance. They are lifting crazy amounts of weight. They Burpee and Thruster to amazing levels. Sometimes it's overwhelming to be the beginner in the class who has to scale everything and watch these women do what they do. I feel so guilty when the others in the class are gutting out a really tough workout as prescribed (Rx) and I am finished because I had to scale my stuff. That's not to say that it's not a struggle for me to get through even my scaled WOD, it's just that I can get through, say, leg lifts significantly faster than someone who has to suspend themselves from a bar and kip up their feet to meet their hands on that bar. Anyway, tonight was a rough one for everyone. I continue to be amazed at what the others in the class can do, especially the women.

Posted workout for Monday, June 30th:

Warm-Up:

Run 400 meters

What I did: Same. No walking. 

3 Rounds of:

5 Burpees
10 Thrusters (pvc pole or dowel)
15 Abmat Sit-Ups

What I did: Same.

(Editorial Comment: You've got to worry when you struggle to get through the warm-up)

Stretching:

Hip Mobility
Dislocates

Performance / WOD:

A. (Strength) HBBS E2M x 6 2 reps @ 90% 1 RM (Translation: High Bar Back Squats, every two minutes for 6 rounds, do 2 reps at 90% of your 1 rep maximum.)

What I did: I'm still trying to figure out what weights I can do for everything. Since HBBS seems to be something we do every week, I've been moving the weight up a little bit each time. Last week I did 55lbs, tonight I did these reps at 65lbs. I could have added more weight, I think. 

B. "Crankshaft"

21-15-9 for time: (Translation: 21 reps, then 15 reps, then 9 reps of the following intervals)

Bar Facing Burpees
Thrusters (95lbs men/65lbs women)
Toes-to-Bar

What I did: Looking at the posted workout just now, I realize that I totally read the board wrong during the WOD! I thought it said 21-12-9. I read the board multiple times and that is what registered in my brain. But now reading the posted WOD, 21-12-9 makes no sense. Of course it was 21-15-9, doh!!! Okay, I ended up doing, 21 reps: Bar Facing Burpees, Thrusters (15lbs bar), Leg Lifts. 12: Bar Facing Burpees, Thrusters, Leg Lifts. 9: Bar Facing Burpees, Thrusters, Leg Lifts. 

I started out doing the Thrusters with the 33lb bar, since the last time I did them I did it with the 15lb and thought maybe I could handle more but, nope. I got through about 2 barely able to lift the bar out of the squat. So, I switched back to the 15lb. Next time maybe I'll use that bar, but add 10lbs, might be a good compromise. 

The last time I substituted leg lifts for toes-to-bar, I could barely even do the leg lifts because of my very tight lower back/upper hip area and tonight was just as tough for me. It's embarrassing, really. All these people are leaping onto a bar, suspending themselves and repeatedly hoisting their feet up to join their hands to the bar and I can't even do a freaking leg lift! I had to actually scale my scale by doing knees-to-chest lifts. Sheesh. 

The workout, even with my scaling, was killer. Burpees in particular are just incredibly hard, especially when there are multiple sets. 

Anyway, my total time for the workout was 13:03. I probably shouldn't even record it since, well, I CHEATED, and with all the scaling, etc. But whatever. 

Oh yeah, there was also a Cash-Out:

C. Accrue 3:00 in a handstand hold on a wall in as few sets as possible.

What I did: You're kidding, right? I am a long way away from being able to do anything like a handstand!

I know that we all have to start somewhere but, I have a feeling I'm going to be a beginner for a long time. It's almost embarrassing when the others congratulate me after the WOD, high-five and say, "good job". I try to be accept it gracefully, but I want to respond, "Not really. I suck."

I guess I just need to embrace this sentiment for now:

Eventing Goals

(Note: Picture taken from the Groton House website - this is not me!)

With the new-found confidence and focus that CrossFit and a more consistent riding program this season has given me, I've started thinking about some actual riding goals, beyond just the training goals I always have in mind for Ruby. This weekend is the Groton House Horse Trials, so it got me to thinking, 'wouldn't that be an awesome goal for next year?' The more I thought about it, the more I started to like the idea.

I talked to my trainer, Alison, about my idea on Thursday and she seemed to think that it was a good and, more importantly, reasonable goal. So it is starting to shape up into a plan. It gives me a year to really work towards something significant. The thing about Groton House is, it starts at Novice (2'11" jumps), so there is no falling back to BN if I'm not ready. I can do it, I did it at UNH a couple of years ago, I can do it at Groton House. Here are my goals to get there:

1. Continue in CrossFit, minimum 3x a week.
2. (Sub-goal to CF) Get fit, get strong, develop great endurance/stamina.
3. Continue our forward progress in Dressage. Reach next Spring able to put Ruby on the aids more consistently. More easily forward and quick off the leg, straighter with more harmony and relaxation. Balanced canter!
4. (Related to Dressage) Come up with a great warm-up plan to accomplish the above in any ride. 
5. Develop and stick to a conditioning plan. Ride hills, trot sets, canter sets, etc. with regularity. 
6. JUMP! Jump every week, one way or another. Jump what the trainer says. Don't crap out and say that you want to finish on that last course if your trainer wants you to jump some more. Don't complain. Don't whine about jump height. 
7. (Related to Jump) On your own, work on balance and "Dressage" in between the fences. Do your circle-jump-circle exercise. Try other exercises that will promote balance and better rhythm on jump courses. 
8. Start off the Season next year fit, fit, fit!
9. Have fun and have a great attitude. 

Post Script: Looking at the results from cross-country day at Groton House today, I wonder how smart this goal is after all. There are a LOT of rider falls and eliminations in all divisions. Yikes. 

Thankful for the Scaling Option: CrossFit 06/27/2014

I have to say that it is slowly getting easier to walk into CrossFit, even on Team Day. There are definitely moments when I have that argument with myself, but I know that I would hate myself later if I didn't go, so off I go.

Posted workout for Friday, June 27th:

Warm-Up

Run or Row for 400 meters

What I did: Rowed 400 meters. 

3 Rounds of:

10 Jump Squats
10 Kettlebell Deadlifts
10 Push-Ups
10 Kips

(Editorial Comment: For some reason, the warm-ups seem to be getting harder)

What I did: 3 rounds of 10 Jumping Squats and 10 KB Deadlifts. 3 rounds of Push-Ups from a box. 1 round of 10 active hangs from the pull-up bar (surprisingly HARD!), 1 round of Ring Rows, 1 round of 10 active hangs from the pull-up bar. 

Stretching:

Hip Mobility Complex
Hamstring Stretch
Kicks
T-Spine Smash

What I did: Hip Mobility Complex, Kicks, T-Spine Smash.

Performance / WOD:

A. Deadlift - 12:00 to build to a heavy double for the day. (Translation: Take 12 minutes to build up to a heavy weight for 2 reps).

What I did: Started at 55lbs and ended at 125lbs for my 2 reps. This is the max weight I've done for Deadlifts so far. 

B. Teams of two, AMRAP 18:00, leapfrog format: (Translation: Teams of two, as many reps as possible for 18 minutes, alternate intervals of)

100 meter Run
10 Deadlifts (225lb men/155lb women)
10 Pull-Ups
10 Box Jumps (24" men/20" women)
10 Lateral Burpees

There were only two of us in tonight's session again. This time, however, it was Caroline and me.

What I did: I started off the workout with the run, we alternated through ... well, we actually lost track how many rounds! I think we decided that we each ran 4 times, so I'll go with that. The Deadlifts I did were at 85lbs. Instead of Pull-Ups I did Ring Rows. Instead of Box Jumps, I jumped to two stacked 45lb plates. Instead of Lateral Burpees, Coach Jen had me do lateral jumps over the barbell. So, I basically scaled everything except the running. Sheesh. Even with all the scaling, it was still really hard and there were a few times that I felt a bit light-headed. Someday this will get easier, right? 

Another workout in the bank.

If It's Humid, It Must Be Tuesday: CrossFit 06/24/2014

It always seems to be pretty muggy for CrossFit on Tuesday and today was no exception. I sure was tired walking into the box today. I had very poor sleep last night so I was dragging. I am proud of myself for even getting myself there tonight.

Posted workout for Tuesday, June 24th:

Warm-Up:

Jump Rope 3 x :45 on/:15 rest (Translation: jump rope for 3 minutes, sets of 45 seconds, with 15 seconds of rest between each set).

What I did: Same. My fatigue really showed as I was only stumbling through about 5 jumps at a time before screwing up. On Friday I was stringing together 20 at a time, but tonight it was a real struggle. 

Stretching:

Hip Mobility Complex
Kicks (front, back, side)
Super Front Rack (band or dowel)
Banded Overhead

What I did: Same. 

Barbell Warm-Up, led by coach:

10 Deadlifts
10 Hang Power Cleans
10 Lunge Steps (5 per side)
10 Front Squats
10 Squat Cleans

What I did: Same, except I only did a couple of the Squat Cleans. I can't really do them (at least with the 35lb barbell) very well yet and Coach Jen wanted me to work on my Power Cleans. 

Performance / WOD:

A. Clean Complex 12:00 to build to a heavy set of 1 Squat Clean + 1 Hang Squat Clean + 1 TnG (touch-n-go) Squat Clean

What I did: Hang Power Cleans at 55lbs. I was really feeling it tonight, so I found it a struggle just to do it right. 

B. 4 Rounds for Time:

28 Double-Unders (84 Singles)
14 Push-Ups
7 Power Cleans (women 95lbs)

What I did: 4 Rounds of 28 jump rope singles (again, I was really feeling my fatigue, I had a bit of trouble busting them out without screwing it up), 14 Push-Ups from a box, 7 Power Cleans at 55lbs. 

My time for the above was 9:47.

C. Cash Out: Airdyne (bike) 5 x :20 max effort, rest 2:00 between (Translation: Sprint all out on the Airdyne Bike for 20 seconds, rest for 2 minutes. Do this 5 times).

What I did: Same. 

I'm really glad that I went tonight and I was very glad when it was over! Some of these "rounds for time" WODs, I get to the second set of intervals and think to myself, 'how am I going to get through ALL of them???' But I manage it somehow. I guess there is a lesson there somehow.

Running & Wall Balls - ACK! CrossFit 06/23/2014

After last Friday's Running and Wall Ball Fest I came into CrossFit Earned tonight and what did I see on the board for the WOD? Running and Wall Balls! Yikes. Although, I have to say, I don't freak out quite as much when I see running on the board as I did as recently as a week ago. But the Wall Balls? Okay, I can do them okay, but my quads were still sore from Friday's WOD. Sheesh.

Posted workout for Monday, June 23rd:

Warm-Up:

Run or Row 400m

What I did: Rowed for 400 meters. 

3 Rounds of:

10 Air Squats
10 Push-Ups
10 Sit-Ups

What I did: Same, except that I did push-ups from a bench. 

Stretching:

Banded Hip Distraction
Banded Hamstring
Dislocates
Pec Release
Bit Mashing

What I did: Hip Mobility Complex, Banded Hamstring, Dislocates. 

Performance / WOD:

A. HBBS 5x3 @ 85% 1RM (Translation: High Bar Back Squat, 3 sets of 5 at 85% of your 1 rep maximum)

What I did: I worked up to 55lbs for this exercise. I did more than 3 sets of 5 though. Did a bunch at 35 and then 45lbs. Then I did the 3 sets of 5 at 55lbs.

I was then starting to put my weights away when Fred came over and said he wanted to show me a couple of things. Fred is one of the class members who can lift some serious weight and he likes to help everyone out when we are working on something that he does well. So, we put the weight back on and he gave me some pointers about my form as I did a bunch more reps. I did a few as he coached me and then I did a set of 8 at the end. Not sure how many reps I did overall, but I ended up doing quite a few at 55lbs, once it was all said and done. So, I'm thinking that I can probably handle more weight for the HBBS. 

B. 4 Rounds for Time:

300 meter Run
20 Wall Balls (20lb men / 14lb women)
10 Pull-Ups

What I did: I did all of my running. Okay, to be completely honest, I did walk for about 15-20 seconds on the 3rd run repeat, but that was all. All the other running was a pretty slow shuffle, but I didn't walk. I just have to keep on working on it. I did all 80 Wall Balls, only with the 10lb medicine ball (I don't even want to think about what my quads are going to feel like tomorrow) and I substituted Ring Rows for the pull-ups. 

My time for 4 rounds of the above was 16:14. I'll take it. 

C. Cash-Out: 100 Sit-Ups for time.

What I did: 100 Sit-Ups in 7:21? 7 minutes:something anyway. I was the last one to finish this part, but at least I did it. 

After the workout was done, I worked a little bit with Coach Ben to see if I could do banded Pull-Ups, or at least to see if I was any closer to being able to do them. Nope, not even close. But Coach Ben did show me another modification that I can do that may build my upper-body strength a little quicker than the Ring Rows. Basically, you stand on a box, hold onto the pull-up bar, hang from the bar while still standing on the box. You can then use as much of your legs to help pull yourself up to the bar as you need to, hopefully, needing less leg support and more upper-body as you get stronger. Anyway, I'll see if I can give it a try the next time we have Pull-Ups on the board.

CrossFit Earned:

The Work Week Is Not Complete Until I've Done Friday CrossFit: CrossFit 06/20/2014

Fridays are tough for me for a number of reasons. First of all, I am so damn tired by Friday afternoon that the thought of doing anything other than sitting on my couch, drinking beer and watching some terrible Bravo show seems like a really bad idea. I've never really had a very good track record working out on Fridays, even talking myself into riding is a challenge. The other thing for me with CrossFit Fridays (at least at CrossFit Earned) is that it is "Team Day", which means that we'll be required to do the WOD with partners. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a joiner. Every sport that has ever appealed to me have been ones where you compete individually, I am not a team sport person! The only group exercise class that I have previously stuck with has been Spinning which, while, yes, it's a group class, but you very much can go into your own head (one of the things I've always liked about Spinning!) The other thing about Team Day is, as someone who is pretty far behind the fitness and the ability of most of the class, I am embarrassed that someone has to be stuck with me. To be fair, everyone so far has been so, so nice and it is my own issue that makes me embarrassed, no one has said or done anything to make me feel anything but completely welcomed.

With that all said, when I walked into the "box" (translation: gym) tonight and looked at the WOD on the board, I almost cried. I am not exaggerating, I almost turned around and walked out. Amy, one of the women who has been in most of the group classes I've taken so far, started to chat with me and I just couldn't help but express my dismay at the WOD and also my discomfort with Team Day. After chatting a bit more, she said, "You know what? I want to be your partner tonight." Okay, now I really was going to cry. I didn't, but it was close. As it turned out, we ended up being the only two in the class tonight, so she was stuck with me either way!

Posted Workout for Friday, June 20th:

Warm-Up:

Row for 3 Minutes

What I did: Rowed 600m, was a little over 3 minutes. 

2 Rounds, led by coach:

5 Deadlifts (bar)
5 SDHP (bar)  Translation: Sumo Deadlift High Pull.
5 Med. Ball Cleans

What I did: Same. 

Stretching:

Hip Mobility Complex
Side Lunges
T-Spine Smash
WOD PREP

What I did: Hip Mobility Complex. Couch Stretch. Hamstring Stretch on box. 

Performance / WOD: 

A. Warm-Up Deadlift for WOD

What I did: Worked with Coach Jen on Deadlifts and established the weight (75lbs) for the WOD. 

B. Teams of two, AMRAP 25:00 (Translation: As Many Reps As Possible in 25 minutes)

4x400 meter Runs (2 repeats each partner, alternating)
120 Wall Balls (20lb men / 14lb women)
40 Deadlifts (225lb men / 155lb women)
200 Double-Unders or 600 Singles
40 Deadlifts (225/155)
120 Wall Balls (20/14)
4x400m Runs (2 each, alternating)

Note: Partners are meant to share the workload, so for instance, when the team is on the Wall Ball interval, you have to do 120 total, so you split it up however you need to. Ideally, you want to decide on your strategy for splitting the workout before you start.

(Editorial Comment: Good God)

What I did: I can't believe it now, but I think I actually did okay. Not fantastic, but better than I expected to. Here is the summary:

• 2x400m Run (my share): I ran BOTH of my run repeats WITHOUT walking! I can't even believe it. I was slow, slow, slow, but I did it. AND it included that stupid ass hill. Coach Jen gave me the option of running around the building instead to avoid the hill, but I chose to do the hill. Hills Are Our Friends. heh. 
• 60 Wall Balls (team total was 120): We alternated 10 reps at a time and I am happy to say that I did my part and did all of my Wall Balls. I used the 10lb Med Ball though, not 14lbs. But 60 Wall Balls! Seriously!
• 20 Deadlifts (team total was 40): We alternated sets of 5. I lifted 75lbs, Amy lifted 135lbs. 
• 80 Singles (team total was 200 DUs & Singles combined): We alternated sets of 20, Amy did DUs and I did Singles. Coach Jen is giving me a pass on tripling the jump rope thing for now. She says it's more important that I get the hang of it and have continuous movement. Even with doing just the singles, I crapped out on one of the rep sets and poor Amy had to cover those 20 for me. But STILL I was doing reps of 20 jumps at a time without screwing up! I was so happy about that. Even Coach Jen was surprised at how quickly I've improved on this. 
• 20 Deadlifts (team total was 40): We again alternated sets of 5, but Coach Jen upped my weight to 85lbs. I seemed to manage it okay. 
• Wall Balls. For this set we alternated sets of 5, since we were both pretty spent at this point. I can't remember how many we got through now before the clock ran out, but a few sets each. 

25 minutes on the clock and a shit load of intervals of a lot of really hard stuff. I can't believe I did it. Although, to be perfectly honest, I have to admit I was relieved that we never made it to the 400m run repeats at the end. I didn't know how I was going to get through that. As it was, my arms and legs were shaking when we were done. 

Thanks so much to Amy for being so nice and so supportive! This team thing is such a new experience for me, I really appreciate how wonderful the people at CrossFit have been. Coach Jen continues to be awesome as always. She is very careful to constantly coach my form on everything and is extremely encouraging when I get stuff right and make progress. 

At the end of the workout, Amy actually thanked me because apparently sharing the workout caused her to up her game with her Wall Balls and she achieved her own personal best. She also PRed her Deadlift. 

By the way, did I mention that I worked today? Also, that I rode Ruby? Yeah, it was a pretty full day. 

A Ton of Running: CrossFit 06/06/2014

So, I mentioned in a recent post that I wanted to eventually add some running into my week, but that I wanted to establish my routine and consistency with CrossFit first. Yeah. Maybe not the best strategy as tonight as we ended up having to do sprints as part of the WOD! To add insult to injury, the class voted to run as a warm-up too. I am so not ready for this.

Anyway, Friday's posted workout:

Warm-Up:

EMOM (Every Minute on the Minute) x5 Rounds
5 Burpees
10 Air Squats

What I did: Ran 600 meters (class choice). Around the block is apparently exactly 600m. I started out and the rest of the class was quickly way ahead. Like I haven't seen THAT before! But I didn't mind, because back-of-the-pack running is something that I am pretty used to, even if it's been a long time since I've run in any kind of a group setting. I set off trying to pace myself and I am proud that I made up up to the top of the slow hill at the beginning of the loop. But after that I did a walk/run thing. It was just meant to be the warm-up anyway, so I didn't need to kill myself so early in the session. The WOD does a good enough job of that without my helping it along, thank you very much. 

Barbell warm-up led by coach:

2 rounds:

5 Deadlifts (bar)
5 SDHP (sumo deadlift high pull)
5 Med Ball Cleans

What I did: Same. 

Stretching:

Samson + Hamstring
IT Band Cross-Body Stretch (with band)
Glute/Hamstring Smash (with softballs/supernova)
T-Spine Smash (with lax balls)

What I did: Same. Except I didn't do anything with "softballs", "supernova" (what the heck is that???) or lax balls.

Performance WOD:

A. Deadlift E2M x 4 Sets x 3 Reps @ 80-85% 1 RM (Translation: 3 Deadlift reps every two minutes x4 sets, weight should be 80-85% of your 1 rep maximum. So, if your Deadlift weight max for 1 rep is 100 lbs, you should do this exercise at 80-85lbs).

What I did: Same, 75lbs for the Deadlifts. The max weight I had done in my 1:1 sessions was 85lbs, but this is a very soft max. The 75 wasn't a struggle, so I'm sure I could go up a fair amount for a short rep exercise. 

B. Teams of two, for time:

8 x 100m Sprints alternating
50 Deadlifts (185lbs men / 125lbs women)
50 Push Press (95/65)
50 T2B (toes-to-bar)
8 x 100m Sprints, alternating

What I did: Coach Jen teamed with me, which was very nice of her especially as I'm sure she had already done her own WOD earlier! Plus, pairing with me is pretty much a guarantee that you will be DFL, so there is that too. 

Anyway ... I did ALL of my allotted sprints. ALL of them. I thought I was going to pass out a couple of times, but I. Did. Not. Walk. Very proud of that. Of course, you just CAN'T walk with everyone standing there watching and cheering for you, so I had to keep going. The set of sprint repeats at the end, I have to say I had slowed down quite a bit, but I kept running and even managed a bit of a kick on the last sprint. Killer. Talk about feel noodle-y at the end!

I did my half of the Deadlifts (but at 75lbs) and Push Presses (at 25lbs), so I am happy with that. For the T2B, I did leg lifts from the floor, but my upper hip area is so tight right now that this was (ironically) probably the hardest thing for me to do, physically. Poor Coach Jen had to pick up the slack for me and do more T2B to make up for it! (I'm sure she was happy about that). 

I'm feeling pretty freaking good right about now. Some thoughts:

• I did not look up the WOD before class tonight (or Tuesday). I think that is the best approach for right now. I'm afraid that I might talk myself out of going if the workout scares me!
• I really need to start running for real. Just 30 minutes of running a few times a week will make a big difference, I think. 
• I feel really good about getting in a ride (Dressage school) on Ruby on my lunch hour. When I manage to both ride and CrossFit on the same day I feel especially satisfied and well-rounded. 
• I think I should schedule a good deep-tissue sports massage. That might help loosen up the tightness I have in my upper hip/lower back. 
• I can't say enough about how wonderful all the people are at CF. Not only was the whole class cheering for everyone, but the people who were not in the class but there to work on skills or whatever all stopped what they were doing to come out and cheer for everyone during the sprints. 

I've been thinking of each CF workout as just another deposit in the bank. The more deposits I make, the more it's going to payoff. 

CrossFit: 06/03/2014 -- Killer Workout!

Let me just start by saying that I absolutely did not want to go to CrossFit tonight. I was really dreading it. But I also knew that I would be very disappointed with myself if I didn't. So, I went and it was unbelievably tough. It's probably a good thing that I didn't look up the workout ahead of time. I'm very glad that I went, but there were a few points during the WOD when I questioned whether I was going to make it!

Warm-Up:

Repeats of:

1:00 Jump Rope (the stupid jump rope again!)
:30 Lunge Steps
:30 High Knees (basically, running in place, but bringing up your knees as high as you can)
Note: I can't remember how long we did these repeats, I want to say 15 minutes, but I am feeling a bit addled at this point!

What I did: The SAME! Yes! I know it doesn't sound like much, but this warm-up was HARD. Also, I find that I am already getting better at the jump rope. I'm smoother and more efficient and I don't seem to panic as much. I can pump out about 10-15 jumps now before screwing it up. 

Barbell warm-up led by coach:

3 Rounds of:
5 Hang Power Cleans
5 Front Squats
5 Full Cleans

What I did: Same.

Stretching:

Couch Stretch
Super Front Rack/Banded Shoulder
Pec Opener (on wall)
T-Spine/Lat Smash
Quad/Hamstring Smash

What I did: Couch Stretch, some hip complex and foam roller for my upper-hip/lower-back.

Performance WOD:

A. Clean Complex (12:00 to go heavy)

What I did: Power Cleans starting with the 15lb bar and finishing with 35lbs. 

B. 15-12-9-6-3 for Time:
Power Cleans (115lb men/75lb women)
Burpees
* 200m run after each round.
Note: Let me explain, just so we are clear. 15 reps of Power Clean lifts. 15 Burpees. Run 200 meters outside. 12 reps of Power Clean lifts. 12 Burpees. Run 200 meters. 9 reps of Power Clean lifts. 9 Burpees. Run 200 meters. 6 Power Clean lifts. 6 Burpees. Run 200 meters. 3 Power Clean lifts. 3 Burpees. Run 200 meters. Yeah, that's right.

What I did: THE SAME!!!!! Yes! Okay, not quite. I did the Power Cleans, but at 35 lbs. And I walked 100 meters/ran 100 meters for each of the run repeats. But I got through it and did all the intervals so, yay me. Of course I was DFL (Dead Fucking Last), but I don't even care. Yeah, that's right. 

Okay, so there I was at the end, pouring sweat, gasping for air, sitting on the rowing machine just to sit and try to recover and Coach Jen comes over and says, "so, you know that there is a Cash Out Workout tonight, right?" WHAT???? No, WTF is that??? She told me that she would let me off the hook, but it was either run or row for 4 minutes. Seriously??? Okay, so I rowed for the 4 minutes.

Killer workout. I think this was the hardest one yet.

Starting June Off Right: CrossFit 06/02/2014

I started out my work week on the right track by putting Ruby through a Dressage school yesterday at lunch time and then following up with a CrossFit session in the evening.

I am still feeling awkward and out of sorts walking into the gym (CrossFit calls them "boxes"). But each time the awkwardness is a little less, so that part, at least, is getting a bit easier. I am also starting to get to know people too, so that helps.

Monday's Session:

Warm-up:

Run or Row 400m
What I did: Row.
(One of these days I'll actually run. Maybe.)

3 Rounds of:

5 Pull-Ups
10 Push-Ups
15 Air Squats
What I did: 10 ring rows. 10 push-ups from the box. 15 air squats. x3.

Stretching:

Hip Complex
Lax Ball Upper Trap Smash
Kicks
Calf/Hamstring Smash
T-Spine Smash
What I did: Same, except, I don't think I bothered with the Lax ball thing.

Performance (WOD):

A. HBBS 3x9 @ 70% 1RM (HBBS = High Bar Back Squat. 3x9 means three sets of 9 at 70% of your max and then 1RM, is one at max weight ... I think!)
What I did: Practiced some high bar back squats with the coach with just the bar first. Then added 10 lbs and did one set of 10 with that. Took off the 10 and added 20 and did two sets of 10 at that weight. Weight with bar = 35lbs. It was enough weight where I had to concentrate on my form, but wasn't too difficult. I can probably add more weight for this exercise). 

B. AMRAP 12:00 (As Many Reps As Possible in 12 minutes)
Increasing intervals: 5 Wall Balls (20lb medicine ball men/14 lb medicine ball women) / 5 Pull Ups; 10 Wall Balls (20/14) / 10 Pull Ups; 15 Wall Balls (20/14) / 15 Pull Ups; 20 Wall Balls (20/14) / 20 Pull Ups
What I did: 5/5 10/10 15/15 20/20 5/5 10/10 Wall Balls (10lb medicine ball) / Ring Rows.
I took a big break after I had finished the 20, before starting back on round two at 5 again. I should have made the break shorter, probably could have gotten through more. Those wall balls get tough though!

I'm so happy that there was no jump rope last night! I have to get to the point where I can start to do some kind of assisted pull-up though. I'm embarrassed to be the only one doing ring rows.

A Note About Stretching: I haven't really said much about the stretching we do at CrossFit, but I did want to mention that they focus quite a bit on hip stretching. I think it has actually helped me a lot already as I am no longer feeling the chronic hip flexor ache that I've had in my right hip for the past few years. 

CrossFit: Friday, May 30th, 2014

Friday night was my second group CrossFit class. After Tuesday's class, I actually decided to come back for more. It is still hard for me to walk in there, I still feel pretty awkward and out of shape compared to most, but as the people become more familiar and as I start to understand the structure of the session, I feel a little better. I know that the WOD at the end is always going to kick my butt, so I have decided that I just have to suck it up!

Friday's session:

Warm-Up:

Run, Bike or Row for 3 minutes
What I did: Row.

Snatch Warm-Up Led by Coach:

3 Position Refresher:

5 Snatch Deadlifts (bar)
5 Hang Power Snatches (bar)
5 Overhead Squats (bar)
5 Squat Snatches (bar)
What I did: Same. 

Stretching:
Hip Mobility Complex
Kicks
Arm Circles
T-Spine/Lat Smash
Individual Mobility
What I did: Same.

Performance (WOD):

A. Snatch - 15:00 to work up to a heavy single.

What I did: Coach Jen had me work mostly on the hang power snatches so I would get the technique down. I did this with the 15lb bar only, no weight. I definitely was better and smoother after the work. 

B. Teams of two, AMRAP (as many reps as possible) 15:00 leapfrog format:

10 Burpees

10 Power Snatches (men 75lb/women 55lb)

10 T2B (toes-to-bar)

10 Box Jumps (men 24"/women 20")

40 Double Unders (jump rope, rope is meant to pass 2x under feet w/ each jump)

The leapfrog format means that the first person in the team starts the first interval (in this case, burpees) and, once that interval is done, the second team member starts the next interval (power snatches, in this example). They tag team until the clock runs out, trying to get as many revolutions through the interval set as possible. 

What I did: Because I am really not up to the ability of the rest of the group, Coach Jen had me work on my own, so I would not have the stress of having a team member depending on me (I was pretty happy about that!). This is what I did:

10 Burpees

10 Power Snatches (15 lb bar only)

10 Leg Lifts (lie on your back on the ground, lift legs from floor to 90°)

10 "Box" jumps, two 45 lbs plates stacked (I'm not sure what the height is, but it's much lower than 20")

Some amount of single under jump rope before giving up and moving on. 

I made it through 2 revolutions of the interval set. On the second set I did do the 40 (single) jump rope exercise as I did get a little more efficient with the practice. For the third interval set I only made it through the burpees and power snatches. 

It is humbling how hard this is. When I first looked at the WOD, I thought, 'hm, doesn't look so horrible' (well, other than T2B, which I knew I wasn't going to be able to do). But I figured, what's 10 reps at a time, right? Ha! It is very, very hard not to take breaks between intervals. At my level, you're just going to have to, but the trick is to pick it back up before you really want to. So, you rest, you really wish you could rest more, but you get back to it before you really feel quite ready to. As you get better, you hopefully need fewer and shorter breaks until you don't need any at all. Of course, by then you're doing REAL T2B and double-unders and weight in your lifts and whatever, so it doesn't ever really get easy. 

I feel like I just have to keep my head down and keep plugging away at it. Just come to the workouts and my stamina and ability to do this will start to get better. I am thinking that I am not going to take a hard look at where I am with CrossFit until I've completed two full months of the group sessions. So, say, the beginning of August. In the meantime, I am planning on doing CrossFit on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Riding lessons on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Other riding (schooling, conditioning rides) Mondays or Fridays, Saturday and Sundays. I would also like to introduce a 30-minute run three times a week too, but I want to get the CrossFit consistency established first. 

One positive effect of CrossFit that I noticed: I had a private Dressage lesson on Thursday, which means the focus was on me and only me for the entire session. Ruby was especially stubborn and uncooperative this week in her flatwork, so it was a lot of work to get her unblocked and moving forward and not just evading my insistence that she be round. It was hard, hard work (and I mean physically hard, in addition to technically hard!) Anyway, not once during this session did I ask for a break. I was actually able to power through my exhaustion and gasping for breath and work through it. Normally I would have been telling my trainer, "okay, I need to walk for a minute now" here and there. Not sure if it is because of CrossFit, or just being generally more active these days, but I definitely noticed a difference in my ability to keep going. 

And It Starts

I had my very first "real" CrossFit class last night. I came tentatively to the gym a few weeks ago to start my series of six one-on-one ramp-up sessions overwhelmed and not really knowing what to expect. I had been hearing about CrossFit for a couple of years and my most persuasive impression from the bits and pieces I had picked up was that it is "intense". Watching the end of the class before that first private session pretty much confirmed all of my fears (and, yes, my hopes).

I finished my last private on-ramp session last Friday and decided that I had better just jump into a class right away before hesitating. I figured, the longer I waited, the less likely I was to do it. So, last night was The Night.

I kind of felt sick about it all day long. I pretty much was freaking out! I've felt like that before about an upcoming ride (especially if it was going to involve jumping), but I can't say I've ever felt that way before an exercise class before! Anyway, I chose the very same class that I had been watching the end of each time I had been in for my private sessions. Right away, I felt a little familiar with some of the people in the class and they all spoke to me as we waited for the previous class to finish. It also had the advantage of being a smaller group (just six of us), so it was a little easier for me to take in. The coach, Troy, came up and chatted to me before our session, starting to put me at ease and let me know that he would be working with me throughout. I was so grateful! I right away felt comfortable (still scared, but a little bit less freaked out).

Anyway, so this was the workout:

Warm-Up:

400m Run or Row
What I did: Row.

Bar-Bell Warm-up (led by coach):

12-9-6-3 of:

Deadlifts (bar)

Hang Power Cleans (bar)

Front Squats (bar)

What I did: Same, except I held the bar on my shoulders, behind neck for the front squats.

Stretching: Hip Mobility Complex:

Side lunges

Figure 4 Stretch

T-spine/Hamstring/Quad Smash

What I did: Same.

Performance: 

A. Clean Complex Work:

1. 10:00 to work on a heavy set of: 1 Power Clean + 1 Hang Squat Clean + 1 TnG Clean

2. EMOM x5 x1 Squat Clean at 80% of A1.

(to be honest, I don't even know what most of this is!)

What I did: Power Cleans, working with the coach to get my technique right, adding weight as we went. Finished at 45lbs? Now I'm not sure as that is the weight I used for WOD, can't remember if it was the same for the squat cleans! ACK! Need to keep notes! Anyway, did a lot of reps of these until I was consistently getting them right. 

4 Rounds for Time (This is where shit got real):

30 Double Unders (that's jumping rope, yes, you read that right, but in a double under, the jump rope must pass under your feet 2x with each jump. Yeah. Not going to happen!)

15 Deadlifts (225 men /155 women)

15 Weighted Sit-ups (A CF sit-up is a little different. You lay on the floor with your knees out to either side, soles of your feet together. Full range of motion is from arms straight behind head, touching floor, to sitting, hands touch feet. With weighted sit-ups, you hold a weight plate in your hands during the sit-up.) 

What I did: Well, I kind of lost track, because it became kind of a blur. The coach talked me through it and adjusted my goals as needed. Anyway, started with: 30 single unders (and I could only seem to do a max of 5 before screwing it up). 15 deadlifts at 45 lbs. 15 sit-ups, non-weighted -- x something. Well, I know I did 4 reps, but Coach Troy adjusted the reps as I was maxing out. I think on the 4th set I did 20 single unders, 10 deadlifts and 15 sit-ups. Or was it 10? I can't remember now!

Anyway, my legs were seriously rubber noodles by the time we were done. I could hardly stand! But Coach Troy got me through it and everyone was so nice and encouraging. It felt great to finish. I felt so good that I actually stood around and chatted with some of the people from the class for a while afterwards. About 30 minutes later the endorphin euphoria set in. 

I am thinking I had better go back again on Friday. 

Perhaps a Sign of Progress?

Ruby and I had a long hack today that was much more of a conditioning ride than yesterday's outing. During the ride we managed a very long trot session that is probably a good couple of miles. Just about two weeks ago I had to take a significant walk break about halfway through this section. Today I managed the whole thing without much trouble. My lower back didn't even get tired or sore, which is where I usually start to feel it first. Of course, it was more work for Ruby, but an energetic posting trot is actually pretty good exercise for the rider too.

I am happy that Ruby and I are both starting off this season in much better shape than we were last year. All the hacking is also beginning to pay off for Ruby in that her canter has gotten more balanced in the past couple of weeks too.

Time to Start Again

I think it is time I started using my blog again. I've recently started CrossFit and would like to write a bit about my experiences, as well as my continued riding and other experiences.

Just a short summary for now:

CrossFit: After a year or so of waffling, I recently signed up for a one-on-one ramp-up program with a CrossFit affiliate in my town. Yesterday I completed session 6 (of 6) and now will join the regular classes. I am overwhelmed and scared, but also excited. I think CrossFit is going be a great program for me if I can stick with it and get hooked. I have to say, after a good CF session, I feel much the way I used to feel after a hard Spinning class, depleted and noodle-y, but elated and strong. So I am very much encouraged by that.

Riding: I am still riding and I still own Ruby. I am not currently showing, however, for a few reasons. Probably the biggest is that it is such a big chunk out of any weekend and I just wasn't enjoying it much with my work schedule. I found worrying about and gearing up for a show just added more stress to my life than I really needed and then the show weekends never left me with enough down time. I am also terribly out of shape and have vowed to only do a show when I will not be horrified to see the pictures afterwards. Of course, more importantly, I need to be able to pilot my horse galloping around a cross-country course in good shape and without gasping for air.

With all that said, I continue to work very hard on my riding skills, as well as training and conditioning Ruby. Our Dressage work, in particular, has come a long, long way. Ruby is now capable of a powerful working trot pushing from behind and working over her back. Because her trot has gotten so much stronger and more powerful, we are now able to accomplish fair collection around the short end of the ring and corners which can result in an adequate lengthening. Sometimes. It's a work in progress.

Running: Well, I haven't been running. But now with the CrossFit program, many of the warm-ups and WODs (Workout of the Day) include running intervals, so I am thinking that I may want to introduce some running into the days I am not doing CF. I am thinking just sessions of thirty minutes three times a week for now. It's not going to train me any kind of running event, but that's okay.

So, that's the update, I will post more detail as it comes!

Fear

I mentioned before that I am going through a cycle of fear with my riding. Specifically with jumping. There is no real reason for it (at least this time around). Nothing bad has happened, I have not had a fall, or even (really) a terrible jumping round. No, I just haven't been jumping a lot and the less I jump, the more my fear grows. It's unreasonable, and even a bit nuts, but fear is a hard emotion to get a handle on.



I think I have my trainer convinced now that I can't handle anything "big" and that I hate to jump. This is not really true, however. What I hate is the anticipation of jumping. Once we're on course, I'm usually okay. I'm also better if I go earlier in the rotation, rather than later (if there are three or four people in the class, my nerves are much better if I jump first. If I jump last, I tend to start freaking out more). Once I start a course, however, I'm fairly calm and able to function okay. When I'm looking at a jump course and the jumps are relatively big ("big" for me means around 3 feet), I'll start to freak out, but once we start jumping, I seem to settle into the work. Actually, the bigger ones tend to jump a little nicer, so I might even relax a bit on course with larger fences. Oddly, I am the most relaxed when jumping cross-country. Jumping stadium courses in the ring, I tend to think and worry too much and just want to "get it over-with". Send me out in the field and I'm up for a nice gallop, jumping anything that gets in the way. After a jumping session, I usually feel pretty exuberant, excited that I did it, happy that it went well, a bit of an adrenalin rush. It feels great.



I think the fear is partially physical fear and partially a fear of failure. The physical side of this tends to ebb & flow with how much I’m jumping in any given season and how well it’s going (and, typically, the more I’m jumping, the better it tends to go, things are funny that way). But something I struggle with in many other parts of my life, in addition to riding, is the fear of failure. I can intellectualize the logic of my resistance to starting down an unsure path where success is not assured, but I really struggle with the emotions around this and the resulting inertia. I worry about failure, and so I don’t even try. I worry about looking foolish or stupid. I doubt myself and self-loathing rears its head. It sounds so simple and stupid, just put yourself out there, you don’t have to be perfect! I know, I know, I agree, but it’s just not that simple. It’s an extremely complicated and layered emotional thing. It’s a little easier to see the illustration with something like riding, since the physicality of the activity makes it a little more simple, more black & white, but it’s still there and a very real feeling that paralyzes my willingness to take chances.



Because of my fear issues, in addition to being pretty resistant to jumping in general, I have not been willing to sign up for any competition this year (there is a logistical and time component to this too, but the fear is probably the biggest element). I chickened out on an invitation to go to fox hunting (the opening hunt) this past weekend and I have chickened out on multiple opportunities to go cross-country schooling this Summer. Oddly enough, I have had absolutely no problem with motivating myself to go out hacking alone, including galloping down the trail. Maybe it’s because no one is watching? My horse has been so good in general, that I have reached a point where I really do trust her. I just need to trust myself more. In the meantime, my peers at the barn are all competing and advancing and all doing very well and I am completely left in the dust.



If I am to be honest with myself (and, really, if you can’t be honest on your blog, why even bother?) I will also have to admit that there is another component to my current fear issues. Being significantly overweight and out of shape wreaks havoc on my ability to ride well -- my physical ability to actually do the activity (let’s face it, the tighter and more athletic you are, the more solid and balanced you are going to be careening around a stadium jumping course, and the more solid & balanced you are, the more confident you’re going to feel overall). It also affects my perception of myself, my willingness to take a chance and put myself out there and out of my comfort zone, my concern for looking silly or ridiculous. Hell, when I feel that I am even more porked out than normal, even my willingness to meet new people or interact with people I already know is affected. It’s a vicious circle too. The more self-conscious I am, the more self-loathing sets in, the less likely I am to expose myself to activity and situations where I could look silly or ridiculous or not competent. So, I hide and don’t try new things or put myself out there in general, and of course my activity level decreases. Add to that a 50+ hour a week desk job and any willingness to pursue enough activity to make a dent in my fitness level really suffers. Most weekdays are crazy and I am committed to riding at least three workdays out of five (and both weekend days). I used to be able to schedule gym or running time on my lunch hours at work, but I now have so many lunchtime meetings and commitments, that it hasn’t been realistic in a long time. I am generally at work by 7 and I ride after work, home around 7:30-8 PM and in bed by 9. So there isn’t a lot of wiggle room on these days for fitting something else in (especially something in the mid-day when I will need a shower afterwards). What I must do, however, is make a commitment to do some other activity (running, yoga, spinning, even just a long walk with the dogs) on the days where I don't have riding commitments. Thursdays are a good target (I have lessons on Tuesday & Wednesdays and usually plan to ride on Mondays as well). If could just get myself to run or take a yoga class or go to the gym on Thursdays & Fridays and one day (in addition to riding) on the weekend, I think that would be a great start. It would also really help if could sleep better during the week and not be so unbelievably exhausted by Thursday. Okay, I’m making excuses. I just need to suck it up and make a plan.





A long and rambling post to my conclusions … I absolutely know what some of these things are that are holding me back, in life, in general, but in riding in particular. But how do I overcome them? That is really the meat of the problem. I can blather about it all endlessly, I can self-analyze with the best of them, but what I really need is a concrete action plan. Hmmm, more on this in future posts, I think …

This is incredibly inspiring.

Running Program: Week 1

Monday:
Scheduled: 1 minute running, alternated with 2 minutes walking, x10 -- 30 minutes total.
Actual: 1 minute running, alternated with 2 minutes walking, x10 -- probably a little more than 30 minutes, maybe 40. *

Notes:
This ended up being harder than I expected it to be, especially after the class on Saturday where, instead of alternating 1 min. running to 2 mins of walking, we alternated laps of the indoor track, so our running intervals ended up being longer than one minute each. By the end of each minute of running on Monday, I was really looking at my watch for the count-down of the last few seconds. I'm not sure if maybe I was running a little faster than we had for the class, if it was the effects of running out on the road, or maybe the humidity (because, even though it was fairly cool, it was also humid), but it was definitely harder on me than I had expected. I was glad to have the plan though that forced me to do this ten times, it definitely pushed me a bit. In order to complete it, I had to overlap the neighborhood loop, but I got it done.

Tuesday:
Scheduled: 30 minutes easy walk.
Actual: 1 hour trail walk with some longer (longer than 1 minute) running intervals.

Notes:
The pressure was off for running since the schedule only called for an "easy" walk. Not sure what they mean by that, but it didn't sound too interesting, nor did it sound like there was much benefit to it, so I figured the least I could do was some good trail walking with some steep bits. I wasn't sure if I was actually going to also do some running until I was out there, but once I was on the trails I did feel somewhat inspired to run. What I did was first run the entire Beaver Path. I had not run this in its entirety in about two years or so, so it was definitely a challenge to me. But managed to do it. Barely. Total running interval was 2 minutes, 30 seconds. Not really all that long, but it was hard for me, I really had to push myself to keep running. Now, there is a fair amount of uphill to this path, particularly in this direction, but still, having this much trouble with 2.5 minutes of running does not bode well for my success with this program. After the Beaver Path, it was some road walking to get to the North East Trail Loop. Some steep and technical walking to the top of that trail and then a lovely, lovely long running interval down the other side. I think this is my favorite place to run on all the trails at work. There is such a nice, long downhill, and then you hit a relatively level part of the trail for a good piece, but because you've got the momentum and rhythmn of the sweeping downhill established that it carries over for a good while on the level parts. This long patch of trail can actually bring me back and remind me of what it feels like to be able to run. I don't like to do it too often because I feel like it will lull me into some kind of complacency, but it sure does feel great when I allow myself this indulgence. I wish I had timed this section, but I didn't think of it in time and so I don't know how long this running interval was. It was longer than the 2.5 minutes though. From there I got on the Rock Ledge trail, technical, rocky & rooty for most of it with lots of steep parts, so I walked it all. And then the fire road where I threw in three more shorter running intervals (1-1.5 minutes each).

Wednesday:
Scheduled: 1 minute running, alternated with 2 minutes walking, x10 -- 30 minutes total.
Actual: 1 minute running, alternated with 2 minutes walking, x10 -- probably around 40 minutes. *

Notes:
It was a perfect day for running, cool & crisp with no humidity at all. I found the running intervals easier to do than they were on Monday, hmmmm, interesting. The time also seemed to go much more quickly overall. I chose a running route around the paved roads on the company campus, with one section on a fire road. It was almost completely flat. I did not want to venture onto the trails as I didn't want terrain or hills or anything else to interfere with the intervals. It worked out very well and actually ended up being enjoyable. Imagine that?

Thursday:
Scheduled: 30 minutes easy walk.
Actual: 40 minutes of trail running & walking (appx. 2.5 miles).

Notes:
Work was a little crazy, so I didn't have as much time as I wanted. I decided to do the "Duck Pond" trail loop, I haven't been out there for about two years. It was quite pleasant and I even ran up a bunch of the hills. I also saw a big snake along the way and wished that I had a camera with me. It was a gorgeous day, and a particularly nice one for running. Cool & crisp & clear.

Friday:
Scheduled: 1 minute running, alternated with 2 minutes walking, x10 -- 30 minutes total.
Actual: 1 minute running, alternated with 2 minutes walking, x10 -- 40 minutes? *

Notes:
I had a real struggle with myself to get out for this one. I had had a crazy, insane Thursday and so spent most of the day pretty exhausted. Plus it was a dreary, rainy, cold-ish, gray day, the kind of day where it's very nice to cuddle with a few dogs on the couch. I work from home most Fridays, so I went out on my lunch hour back to my neighborhood loop and I brought Tig with me. The intervals seemed to go pretty uneventfully, but again I felt that that the running parts were harder than I would have liked. Tig was great, I can run with him holding the leash with one finger and he'll just stick with me, no problem. Of course, he probably wishes we would run more, and faster.

Summary:
I'm pretty happy that I managed to do everything that was on the schedule for this program. It was particularly tough this week because I was on-call for work, so that did throw a few complications my way. I felt that the run intervals for week 1 were completely doable and I felt good enough that I even did some trail running on the days I was supposed to just do an "easy walk". I actually managed to cover a total of 17 miles this week!

I'm concerned, however. Tomorrow we bump up to intervals of 4 minutes running / 1 minute walking. To me, this seems like a huge leap from 1 minute walking / 2 minutes running. After doing my running sessions this week, I am having a hard time believing that I will be able to run for intervals that long. I don't even want to think about the 15 minute intervals that are on the schedule for a couple weeks from now (I guess I'll worry about that when I get to that week). So, we'll see. I'm sure we will doing the longer intervals in class tomorrow morning, so I'll see how doable it really is.

Most of all, I'm proud that I didn't blow anything off. This is why I need this program right now, it gives me that extra push to get out the door. I'm happy that I could do the assigned running intervals and didn't need longer recovery times. At least I know I can continue doing that, if the next step proves to be impossible for me.

(*Note: The time added to the 30 minute interval days was added walking time before and after each workout).

Structuring a Running Program

So, I've been thinking that I have to take this running thing (and cross-training, in general) more seriously. Running is my main focus in this for a lot of reasons: it's an activity that can be done without too much logistical worry, if I can't make it to a gym, I can go out the door at work on a lunch hour, I can use the treadmill at home, or whatever. I feel that it can have a high return of benefit for not a huge investment of time. In other words, you can get a lot out of running for a half an hour. It makes your legs strong and is one of the best things for cardiovascular/aerobic conditioning. And mostly, I really like how I feel when I'm running consistently.

One of my big problems is motivation. I've always struggled with this and getting geared up into a running program for me is particularly tough because it takes me a long time before I am able to run an interval of more than a minute or so at a time. Getting to a point where I can run, say, five miles will take months. Maybe a year. At least historically that's been my experience and that was when I was starting out in reasonable shape. So, the fall-out factor for me is high, it's easy to get discouraged and give up. It also takes me a long time before I'm mostly enjoying the running, I may have a moment of bliss here & there, but runner's high? Nope. That's months & months or work and pain down the road. The only runner's high I'll be feeling is the rush of euphoria once the run is over, although sometimes that is enough of a payoff to keep me going.

So, overall, I like the idea of running, I like the potential benefits, I like the way it makes me feel (both physically & mentally), it is the activity that is probably the easiest to insert into my busy schedule. But I recognize that it is going to take more commitment, planning and mental toughness than I've been expending thus far. So, when I saw that the Y was offering an intro running class ("Run a 5K in 8 Weeks"), I thought that maybe this would help put some structure around my desire.

Today was the first class and I feel like it went pretty well. It's a bit tough to commit to be be at the Y every Saturday morning by 8 AM, but once I was out and about, I actually preferred the early hour. Most of all I liked the company and the camaraderie of the other women in the class (interesting that there were no men). There were about 10-11 of us in varying states of fitness. I would say that I am at the lower end of the scale, although, at each run interval, I was always one of the runners at the front (competitiveness maybe?) For today it was fine, but as we progress through the weeks, I'm sure the disparity in fitness levels will sort the group out more. The goal for today was to run one interval (one lap) around the indoor track alternated with an interval of two walking laps, x 10. When it was finished, we had covered a total of three miles. This was easy, so that was a relief, but I know that it is going to get progressively harder each week and if I'm not doing the necessary work during the week, I'll fall behind very quickly. I am hoping that this will help motivate me to keep going during the week on my own. I want to feel confident going into each class that I'll be able to keep up!

Anyway, so I'm encouraged so far. I hope I can keep my enthusiasm going. I'm also hoping to have a decent enough running program established that I can carry it through the Winter a little more easily. January is a tough month to be kicking off a brand new running program, after all. I am also hoping at some point that it will help me start to lose some weight and that it will also benefit my riding.

On Running

I’ve known for a while that just riding alone is not quite enough of an activity level to make me as fit as I need to be. And I’m not even talking about weight loss here, at this point, thoughts of weight loss are a pie-in-the-sky fantasy for me and if I seriously sit down and think about it as more than a passing idea, I get very, very depressed and start to feel very hopeless, complete with all those wonderful feelings of self-loathing and worthlessness and whatever. Believe me, I have a lifetime of experience with this and would rather not go there, if I can avoid it. So, I’m really right now just thinking about better overall fitness, what I can do to improve my ability to ride and for better stress relief in general. I’ve always felt that running is a high return activity in this regard. A lot of bang for your buck, if you will. You can go out there, throw out a few miles in under an hour for a maximum physical result. Riding probably would be adequate if I could somehow manage to ride five horses a day, six days a week and do a lot of barn chores. But riding only one horse requires that I do something else outside of the horse stuff. Although, I DO feel that I am more riding fit at this point in the season. I’ve noticed that I can do a 10-12 fence jump course and feel just as good and fresh at fence #12 as I did at #1. This was not the case over the Winter. Still, I need work.

The problem has mostly been time. When you work 9-12 hours a day, and when plans to ride require about three hours round-trip, where does one sneak in the time to also add a run or something else? Lately what I’ve been doing is squeaking in a lunch-time run. It requires some planning and some willingness to be flexible and to change plans at the last minute, but so far I’ve managed to eek out a little bit of a run schedule. Luckily at work we have lovely, lovely trails just outside the door. I change in the locker room and have been rediscovering them all over again over the past couple of weeks. Of course running during working hours does have its challenges, like yesterday while standing out on the trail during my run and responding by BlackBerry to a volley of emails that had come in about a customer issue. But that keeps things exciting anyway, and this is the reason why we have modern technology! Of course, my colleague may not have appreciated my showing up at his desk immediately post run dripping with sweat to discuss said issue, but what can you do? (They don’t even notice when I cut off all of my hair, nor when I walk through the office in riding breeches and chaps, so it’s unlikely a bit of sweat registered either anyway).

Let me just say, though, that running is HARD. So, so, freaking hard. I’ve never been a natural runner, I know I whine about this from time-to-time, but it’s true. I am just not one of those people who can go out and bang out a couple of miles at the drop of a hat. It takes a long time to get myself to where I can even run a mile relatively comfortably, even with a walk break or two. So I’m trying not to be too disgusted with myself. Right now I’m just trying to get out there and cover some ground. I run, I walk. I walk, I run. I try to run some past the point where I desperately want to slow to a walk. I pick out landmarks, but once I reach them, I try to run a bit farther (even if it’s only the tiniest bit). I particularly like running on the single track trails. For some reason I find myself running for the longest stretches on those. I think it’s partially because it’s a bit of a mental game, picking through the footing so I don’t fall, plotting my path, etc. As much as possible, I try to run where the terrain allows it and to walk when the tricky footing forces me to be more careful. It doesn’t always work out that way, but that is my goal on most of my trail runs these days.

The other night I even did a run on the treadmill. I have to say, compared to riding and running on trails, running on a treadmill is some kind of mental (as well as physical) torture. I managed to squeak out two miles of intervals. It went something like this:

• 2 minute walk warm-up (16 minute mile).
• 2 minute running interval (12 minute mile).
• Continue walk/run intervals until I hit 1 mile (intervals consisted of 1 minute walk @ 16 minute mile alternated with 1 minute run @ 12 minute mile).
• After the 1 mile mark, I alternated 30 seconds run @ 10 minute mile with 1 minute walk @ 16 minute mile.
• At the 1.5 mile mark I just walked for the last .5 mile (16 minute mile).

I know that all sounds like a completely sad effort, but that is where I am in running ability at the moment. I can barely run a 12 minute mile for one minute. And I can only keep the intervals up for a short time. Still, I ended the session feeling like I had had a really good workout, so I think that my body definitely got something out of it, and I was sore the next day.

I think that if I can get myself outside to run/walk in some fashion three times a week and then do a TM interval session like the above one time a week, that I could see some decent improvement in my fitness. Since I am not really training for any kind of running event and because I don’t want to make myself crazy, I’m trying not to concentrate on distance or speed in any way right now (although, I think speed & distance is something I have to target for an interval work out). I’m mostly focusing on how long I want each running session to be (40 minutes, 1 hour, whatever).

Now if I could also just carve out a little time to include some yoga or pilates during the week …

Hypnosis: Check-in on Progress

It's been a little over a week now since I had my hypnosis session and I have to say that I think it's been going very well. I definitely feel calmer and I am amazed at how much more in control I feel of my eating.

There were a number of times during the week when I've let myself get pretty hungry and I started craving bad stuff as a result, yet I still managed to stick to the chicken & asparagus or the whole wheat pasta or the yogurt that I already had in my fridge. I went to the grocery store at 7 PM one night, before I had had dinner and yet I managed to come away with all healthy stuff. I did not buy even one sweet or prepared meal (other than Lean Cuisine) or pizza or whatever. I'm especially amazed that I was able to carry all of this through the weekend. The weekends are definitely my weakest times, but I did not stray off of my plan even once. I feel so much more on top of this than I have in a long time.

I was also better about exercising in general, but still not quite as good as I want to be. I definitely let poor sleep, work busy-ness and poor planning interfere with exercise, so this is something to be aware of and know that it is something that I need to push myself through.

Perhaps most amazing of all is how my levels of stress and anxiety have been affected. I can't say that I haven't felt any of the above, but before the hypnosis, what would have caused galloping, out-of-control anxiety and stress for me, triggered a reaction that has been more like butterflies. Just flutters, really.

So, I have to say that so far I'm a fan of hypnosis! I'm not sure if maybe it's the "placebo effect", but something seems to be working for me.

Sundry

* I'm not quite sure why, but every conversation I have with my father leads to my defensiveness and even sometimes irritation, over the most mundane of topics. Case in point: Today he was asking how Tig's obedience class was going. And then he went on to say something to the effect that I must have a goal to make him "sane". What? He's just an excited dog, but he's a good boy. My response was, "no, the goal is for him to be happy. To give him something fun to do. To engage his mind. And to reinforce our bond." Whatever.

* Speaking of Tig, I took him on a very nice, long walk/hike/run/whatever in Mine Falls Park today. We saw a good number of other people, as well as dogs, during our outing and Tig was each time completely focused on me and willing to stick by my leg on a loose leash. He's really come a long way.

* On my way to the park this morning, I took a drive through the condo complex that I'm interested in, just to get a feel for the area. The place seems pretty nice and there also appears to some conservation land that abuts the property to East, which is a plus. Also, I noticed that the decks on the townhouse units are actually a bit bigger than I had originally thought. Still smaller than what I currently have, but larger than I had been thinking, so that's a plus. It was nice to see how close we would be to Mine Falls Park and other trail areas.

* I'm still a little bit traumatized by our nor'easter/hurricane/tornado or whatever it was that hit Southern NH on Thursday night, into Friday. I do not want to have to repeat that experience any time soon -- it was crazy! And now I'm rather overwhelmed with the task of figuring out how I'm going to address my damaged roof and porch. GAWD! It's always something. Add THIS to the pro list for moving to a condo townhouse.

* Post-hypnosis seems to be going well so far. I have not been tempted to binge (or really, to eat anything not in my best interests) and was motivated to do the walk today.

* I had some text messages from the kid who was riding Ruby this week down in Aiken for my trainer's "Kids' Camp Week". She sent me updates through the week and gushed about how much she loved Ruby. I always enjoy hearing when someone loves my horse and I really appreciated the updates. I told her that she could ride Ruby back in NH if she wants to. I am thinking especially for the weeks I'm on-call when it is hard for me to count on being able to ride at all.

* I'm enjoying this weekend quite a bit, I wish it was a long one!