AWOL

I know that I've been missing in action. I've been utterly swamped at work. I haven't even had a moment to come up for air. I haven't even had time during the week to just run outside for 10 mins and breathe and see some daylight. I've had no time for personal email and forget about blogging. The urgent project I've been busting my ass to accomplish is wrapping up now however, so I should have a little more wiggle room next week. It's been crazy and stressful, but also oddly satisfying. I've accomplished quite a lot in the last two months at work, but I fear my physical, psychological and emotional life has perhaps taken a hit. Ever since the Big Shake-Up at Work, I have felt on edge and unsettled and not valued and just generally stressed out and insecure. I haven't been sleeping well at all. Adding the urgency of this project to my load has just put me in the redline for the last couple of months. As a result I've been sleeping like crap, eating like crap, and I've been uninspired and unmotivated and emotionally volatile in my personal time. So as this particular assignment starts to wrap up, I need to re-commit myself to taking care of me. That means eating better, sleeping more and working out -- if anyone has any words or stories of inspiration, please let me know, I could really use it now.

On an Unrelated Note:

(Actually, in a weird way it is related because it is just another thing that will add to my current state of mind.)

There was an attempted rape in my apartment building last night. This woman I know was coming into the building through the back door at around 8:30 last night and some punk apparently managed to get in behind her (I am unsure whether she just didn't notice him or if he pushed her in). She was screaming and he started trying to rape her. Apparently the woman's mother was up in her apartment and happened to somehow to have heard her (maybe she started screaming before the door closed). Also, luckily, this woman owns a large (and loud) dog (one of very few in our building and the only big one). The woman's mother came down to the basement with the dog and the dog chased the rapist out of the building. He had managed to already have this her pants off. This all just makes me so upset and angry, and for some reason, even more so after coming off a gut-busting couple of months at work. I just so resent that I work my heart out, that I've been working for half my life, that I pay a huge amount of taxes, mind my own business am a productive and responsible member of the community and yet I live in a 2-room apartment struggling to pay my bills (with not much left over for vacations or many "luxuries") and the place is not even safe. I know this sort of thing can happen anywhere at all, but when it happens inside your own building (not in some alley or somewhere) it just makes you feel even more vulnerable. Anyway, like I've said, I've really been kind of an emotional mess lately. Oh, and the other thing is... I also resent that our Co-op rules state that people are not allowed to own pets, particularly dogs (yes, I own an illegal dog). Well, pets can greatly increase your quality of life, especially if you live alone. And if this woman last night had not owned her dog, there is a very good chance that she would have been raped. I think I'll look into buying a Rottweiler.