Frustrating Week

I seem to be having the most frustrating week. Constantly being pulled into meetings, or having long, drawn-out phone and email conversations about one problem or issue or another, I am not getting a whole lot of work done. I mean, all of this stuff is making me incredibly busy, while at the same time, not terribly productive. And, for the love of GOD, will the manager (you know who you are) who keeps warning me about the "high profile" (shit detail, data clean-up) project that is supposed to come my way just shut up about it and give me the actual assignment (complete with specs) already??? I mean, all of these hints and "heads-ups" are just infusing me with urgency and nervousness and I don't even have the damn thing to work on yet! Sheesh!

I know this may be Earth shattering news to some, but...

...I actually worked out yesterday.

20 minutes on the Elliptical and 20 minutes on the treadmill (mostly walking, but with spurts of 1-minute running intervals, all at 1 % incline) in my apartment building gym. Had the place to myself too, since there is no A/C down there and it is ungodly hot. Actually wasn't horrible if I had two fans blowing directly on me. Sort of. Followed the workout with a completely sleepless night. ARGH!

Why is Shoe Shopping meant to be "Every" Woman's Fantasy?

For me it's always a nightmare-ish ordeal.

I went to the shoe department at Macy's last week in the hope of finding a pair of brown shoes for Fall. As I wandered aimlessly amongst the different "boutique" shoe areas, I was overwhelmed by the lack of abundance of mid-heel brown shoes that were not a mule or a sandal. Don't get me wrong, I like both mules and sandals, but I don't really want a sandal for Fall, and I still cannot figure out how a mule is meant to be worn in the colder months. I think they would be a bit funny with stockings or socks (plus, I would think your feet would slip out of them) and there is just a point in the year when I am no longer willing to go "sockless". But the main thrust of my rant is really about being waited on in a shoe store. Or more specifically, not being waited on. As I wandered about the huge shoe floor at Macy's I was struck with a shoe here or there that I may have wanted to try on, but which I was too overwhelmed to even attempt. First of all, you pretty much have to shop in each section of the shoe floor as if it was a separate store. So, if I was to find a nice brown shoe in, say, "Joan & David" and then I wandered about and found another likely shoe in "Bandolino", I couldn't just plop down in, say, "Nine West" and ask to see each shoe. You have to pick a designer and try to get waited on in each section. And then trying to get a salesperson to stop for you -- yeah, good luck. As I wandered around the store I witnessed a lot of very lost-looking, potential customers either wandering vacant-eyed in the aisles clutching examples of shoes they hoped to try, or sitting on the edge of the random stool or chair or cube looking like they were about to grow cobwebs. The few salespeople to be seen seemed to move at the speed of light with heads held high and eyes focused on some distant, inanimate point far out of range so as not to inadvertently catch the eye of some hopeful shoe shopper. Maybe it's just that I don't have the patience to sit around and wait to be helped, or that I'm not aggressive enough to tackle a shoe salesperson as they flit past, but for me, shoe shopping is always unbelievably stressful. No wonder I wear all of my shoes into the ground and they always look completely like shit. I've been known to wear the same pair of shoes every day for months on end. Seriously.

You Gotta Love NYC

Well, maybe not. This afternoon I was at one of the Duane Reades in Penn Station to pick up a prescription and on my way out through the front I passed a woman who was ranting loudly to the store manager about one of the cashiers who (apparently) had not treated her well. Loud-Ranting-Woman exclaimed, "I swear, next time I'm going to reach across the counter and slap the shit out of the bitch!" Well, okay then. I did not stick around to hear what the manager's response was.

Another Week Flies By

And I haven't done much about blogging. Been kind of in the doldrums this week and I'm not exactly sure why. I spoke to my sister over the weekend and she was bubbling over with enthusiasm and happiness with their move to Bend, Oregon. She couldn't say enough about how wonderful the area is, the community, the scenery, the climate, the outdoorsy nature of the inhabitants and all the bike & running, etc. trails that are available all over the place. She kept saying to me, "and tell me why you're living where you are again?" I know, I know, the quality of life here sucks (unless you make a lot of money), but my job is here, you know? And she kept reminding me that I'm not getting any younger, if I'm going to make a change, I should do it. I KNOW!!! Sheesh! It's so easy to become complacent in life, making a huge change is very hard. It's both harder and easier (at the same time, if that makes any sense) when you are all on your own. Granted, I don't have kids, so I wouldn't be uprooting anything much, but I am my only resource -- financially, emotionally, whatever. I think my biggest worry is being able to find good employment, earning enough money to pay my bills, save for retirement, have a home and have a life, while actually liking what I do, hopefully even (at least most of the time) looking forward to coming to work every day. I actually have that here, as much as I complain about it in my blog, I actually (usually) like my job. I've worked for this company for sixteen years, so looking for a position outside of it is hugely daunting to me. But when I lay everything out, this job is really the main thing that is keeping me here. I have friends here too, yes, but most of my friends nowadays are busy with children or other endeavors, so my social life has really fallen to the wayside in recent years. So, that is not holding me here. Everything else is just logistics, I would need a car, I'd have to sell my apartment, I would have to transition smoothly enough so that I could continue to pay my debt without interruption. Anyway, lately I've just had this feeling of time running out. People all around me are making big changes in their lives, moving on. I feel like I am stuck in limbo and my window to make a change won't be open for forever. This is what has been keeping me awake at night.

Yet another example of rudeness...

This morning I am at a Dunkin' Donuts counter ordering coffee. Woman beside me who already has her coffee or whatever decides that she needs something from a container on the other side of me. So, rather than walking around me to get it, she reaches across behind me, in the process pushing me up against the glass counter and wacking me repeatedly in the back with her backpack. No apologies or even an acknowledgement that I was actually there. Even the woman waiting on me gave a little incredulous laugh, like she couldn't believe it.

Amazing what some people consider "Business Casual"

Seen today on my floor at work :

Chick (who works in the Accounting Department at my company) wearing... skin-tight (so tight she must have had to lie down to put them on), neon-bright fushia pink, cropped pants with a crocheted, neon-bright fushia pink (complete with glitter!) poncho thing on top (and a white tank top underneath). I literally did a double-take.

is it just this city, or are people getting ruder?

Examples of rudeness from today alone:

- Chick sits next to me on the train, flops the jacket she is holding onto my lap and leaves it there. For the entire ride.

- Train chick repeatedly flips her (long) hair into my face. I mean, she did see me sitting there, right?

- Go to give blood in our office building today and the blood guy repeatedly orders me around (sit here, sit there, get up, move turn this way, do this, no NOT like that, etc.) with no please, thank you or even just a friendly tone. Er, he did realize that I was donating my bodily fluids and asking for nothing in return, right?

- Get on crowded elevator this afternoon and the chick behind me can not move even one inch (even when she clearly has a lot of space behind her) so that I can comfortably stand.

- At the Au Bon Pain where I buy my wrap sandwich for lunch, I am at the register, cashier is in the process of ringing me up, while one man to my left is trying to push me out of the way, while waving his money at the cashier for his damn danish, while one woman on my right is waving her sandwich and trying to shove her money in front of the man's. Can't they see that I am currently in between them and being waited on????

- I'm second in line at the Duane Reade when they open up another register, new cashier speaks up to call over the next customer and the chick on line behind me jumps out of line and runs over there. I speak up and say, "Uh, I was next!" She looks over at me and says, "Oh, do you want to go?" "Well, YES!!!" dumb ass.

Maybe it's just my tolerance for this crap that has changed, but it is wearing me out. Gotta get out of NYC.

And Sometimes there is Vindication...

I had a nice compliment yesterday from (of all people) the director of my department. I happened to be over by the admin's desk to get a bandaid and she heard my voice and so asked me to stop in. She told me that she had met with the director of another department for whom I'm spear-heading this big business intelligence project and she said that this director made a point of telling her how happy they've been with me and with my work for them. Apparently she feels that the quality of the work has been excellent, as has been my communication and responsiveness to them. Cool, nice to have your efforts recognized once in a while anyway.

LIRR Strikes Again!

I know plenty of people who can run 8 miles in an hour or under, and so I am so NOT impressed that it took the LIRR just that long to take me that distance this evening. Bastards.

Highlight of the Summer

It's pretty sad when the highlight of one's Summer is having root canal. Ech. I got the bad news about a month ago, had appointment #1 at the end of July -- had a lot of jaw pain the first day, but had some vicadin knockoff to take the edge off and make me feel all sleepy, dizzy and loopey. Followed by a couple of days of headaches, but nothing too severe. Had my second appointment at the end of the day last Thursday. Dentist gave me the same prescription for the same vicadin knockoff after the procedure and I took my (un-air-conditioned-on-a-100-degree-90-something-percent-humidity-day) subway home. Got home, popped the pain pill, ate some pudding and tried to cool off and recover from the subway ride from hell (and subsequent 3/4 mile walk). Around 10 PM or so it hit. Violent puking ill. UGH!!! Driving the porcelain bus like the worst drunk. My mouth didn't even hurt at all, I was just a complete mess from all the drugs (I assume the injections I had during the procedure must have contributed, one little pill could not have made me that sick). Anyway, sick night, red swollen face with broken blood vessels around eyes and mouth and an uncomfortable night lying on my bathroom floor, I decided to call in sick to work on Friday. I think it was the right thing to do. I don't know how bulemics function on a day-to-day basis. One episode and I was a couple mess. Anyway, I feel better now.

Oh, I do have one thing to say...

Best Summer Breakfast Ever:

"Natural" peanut butter on 9-grain toast, with a drizzle of honey. And, lowfat yogurt with fresh strawberries and blueberries. (oh, and coffee of course!)

Almost makes it worth getting up in the morning. I like it so much, I may just continue with this breakfast once the weather becomes cooler. Screw the damn oatmeal.

Alright, Already!

People have been giving me crap because I haven't been blogging. I really have no excuse other than that I really have had very little to say. I suppose I could bitch endlessly about the soul-sucking heat we've been enduring in the North East all Summer. Or there is always my old fall back, complaining about the LIRR. But just the thought of continuing to write on these subjects even bore me, so I haven't bothered.

I think this has been the dullest Summer I have had in years. Even the dullest year, really. It's been so unrelentingly hot day after day, week after week, month after month, that being outside for any length of time is just a miserable experience. I haven't been anywhere, or done anything much at all. Work has been the same, I'm busy, but working on the same projects I've been working on for awhile, so nothing has changed there. I just seem to spend my time shuttling back and forth between the air-conditioning of my apartment to the air-conditioning of work. So, I apologize to any who were looking for something interesting, or at least mildly entertaining, to read. There is nothing to see here, just move along. Will try to be better about updating this blog about the daily minutiae of my life. If I don't fall over from boredom in the process, that is.