To Christmas, Or Not To Christmas...

Every year I go through this big dilemma with Christmas, just ignore the holiday, or make some desperate attempt to celebrate and enjoy it. Even though, at this point, I have pretty low expectations, I still somehow end up disappointed each year.
Last year was a pretty depressing affair and I vowed to myself that this year I wouldn't be going out to my father's place, yet here I sit with plans for my father to pick me up in Manhattan tomorrow afternoon. I've already received my Christmas gift from him -- a check signed by him inserted in a Christmas card written & signed by his wife, along with a picture of their new house. It just all seems so, I don't know, anti-climatic. Certainly, realistically speaking, a check really is the best thing he could have given me (and I'll probably put it towards a purchase of this, just as soon as I can come up with the balance), but it just seems so... I can't quite put my finger on it... depressing, I guess. Like I was an obligation that could be easily resolved by taking two seconds to write out a check. And (I realize that this is really petty but) couldn't he have seen fit to write out and sign the card himself? I don't know, I just hate Christmas, every year a little bit more. I have friends who get impatient with my bah humbug attitude, but they also usually have wonderful holiday seasons to look forward to. I just have this sense of unease until it's all over.

Anyway, before I had decided what I was going to be going for Christmas Day, I had bought a chicken to roast, so that Lola and I would have something special for that day. Since I'll be out in Jersey tomorrow, I'm cooking it now. I even stuffed it, which is all very ambitious of me considering that I pretty much never cook. I'll post about how it comes out, should be okay (I'll have lots of leftovers, but I don't mind).