These are the kind of dogs I have:

Most dogs, you let them out the back door, they're like "woohoo! outside" run, run, run, sniff, sniff, sniff, pee, pee, pee. Mine? I let them out the back door and they just sit there, peering back at me through the glass.

Most dogs, you come into the house, they're right there at the door to greet you (if they're not barking on the other side of the door as you approach). Mine? I come in, no dog, walk through the downstairs, mill around in the hallway sorting the mail? No dog. Finally walk upstairs and there is Lola, all curled up on the bed and looking up at me like, "what?". Sheesh.

Most dogs, you pick up the leash and they get all excited, "woohoo! goin' for a walk! goin' for a walk!" Fitz, I pick up his harness & leash and he cowers and runs in the other direction (even if I'm bribing him with food).

These are my freaks, they are not normal.