I can't believe that my girl is three years old today! Time goes so fast.

ARGH! I just chewed up a pepto-bismal caplet that I discovered (too late) that I was just supposed to swallow. Bleach-pooey-bleeeekkkkk!!!

I stopped in the fish market on my way home from the train tonight to pick up a piece of salmon. There was a woman in there ahead of me with a double stroller taking up much of the space near the counter so I had to kind of crane my neck a bit to see the fish. After a few minutes she saw me and turned her stroller around to face me, while saying (I'm not sure whether to me or to the two kids in the stroller), "want to say, 'hi'?". Uh no, no thanks, not interested. I just kind of glanced at the kids and then continued my perusal of the fresh fish. Why is it everyone with a kid thinks the whole world wants to make goo-goo eyes at it? Now if it had been a puppy...

Such indigestion today. v. unusual for me. On a good note, I made a lot of progress today with the "quickie" reporting project I was given in between my last completed application (for my "big" project) and the next one.

Just watched the movie My Dog Skip on Ellen's recommendation. I was bawling beyond all recognition. This kind of movie always does it to me. Thanks Ellen. Of course I was hugging Lola and crying all over her. She thinks I'm insane.

Went with Paul & Luminita & baby Alex to sit outside at Austin's and drink some beer late yesterday afternoon. Carolina & Janos could not join us as they were working on the new apartment. We thought it would be a nice, lazy Saturday afternoon activity and who knows how much longer we will be able to sit outside? October is next week after all. They didn't allow Lola though, I was very upset about that. I've brought her with me to the outside area there numerous times with no problem before, I wonder why all of sudden they have a problem with it. Bastards. This is one of the things I don't like about Queens, it is so... suburban in many respects. I never had a problem taking Lola with me anywhere in Manhattan. Certainly never a problem at an outdoor cafe (which is basically every restaurant on the Upper West Side in the Summer). God, I miss it. Anyway, so I dragged Lola home and then rejoined P&L. Had some wings & beer and enjoyed the day. Service kind of sucked, but it was pleasant anyway. And I got a free t-shirt. Afterwards I went back to Paul & Luminita's to watch a movie and drink more beer. "Daddy Daycare". It pretty much sucked too, but what can you do? So much for my Saturday, how was your's?

Ellen sent me this yesterday. Said it reminded her of the time we took Lola to the dog park by the Museum of Natural History, where she took on a young, exuberant, but huge golden retriever. Play became rather overwhelming for her at some point so she took off (she kind of looked like one of those cartoon dogs, you know the way their legs start moving so fast, but they don't move forward at first) ran, hell-bent, eyes wild, tail between her legs across the park and dove under the bench where we were sitting (golden retriever in hot pursuit). It was so funny, Ellen and I laughed until we cried.

I had my massage tonight. OMG. I feel so much better. Pain is still there a bit, but it's a fraction of what it was (even from this morning). I've got to do this massage thing more often. Apparently I am a pretty "tight" person. Big surprise.

what. a. slow. day. uuugggggggghhhhhhh....

cock. balls.

Ugh! I need a haircut and I just don't know what to do with it. Last time he cut too many shorter layers into it, so I've been growing it out for a few months, trying to get the layers to a point where I'll have some options. Generally not a fan of short, choppy layers on me. But now my hair is a mess. Growing out a layery cut is not pretty. Somebody please mail me and give me some ideas. My hair is pretty fine, straight and is currently shoulder length.

Julia said:

"Debbie, you have to decide that it''s just not worth fighting because you can''t do anything. Although the LIRR stories do keep me laughing..."

Conversation on the train platform the other morning -- it's pouring down rain.

Me: "Wow! The train is on time. AND it's raining! That never happens.

Random guy waiting next to me: "Yeah! I can't believe it."

OMG! I can't believe that I forgot to mention that The West Wing had a pug on the show last night! I just love the concept of a pug in the Oval Office. heh.

Oh and another thing. One of the most comforting phrases I have heard in a long time is, "your insurance pays for everything". Can't beat that feeling. Can't believe I've waited so long to start using my insurance.

So, last night Chrissy went to Rocco's, the restaurant that is the subject of the NBC & Bravo TV show ( "The Restaurant"). I actually happened to walk by there yesterday as it was about a block away from where I had my chiro appointment. She didn't see Rocco though, which is too bad because he's a little hottie.

I have a few moments between projects so I thought I would blog a bit. My back is still extremely painful so I haven't really wanted to spend any time on the computer outside of work (since of course working at a desk causes the most pain to my back). Anyway, my manager (the same one who was privy to my online dating form) recommended a chiropractor in Chelsea, so I made an appointment. Actually, this chiropractor practices out of a spa. And my insurance pays! heh. So I went to him yesterday. Loved him. (Hmmm, I wonder if he knows any of the Fab 5... ) He did an adjustment for me and then I got to lie on this roller-bed thingy that massaged my back. Kind of like those massage chairs that JoeB and Julia and I sat in for about an hour at the Sharper Image on 57th Street one Saturday in July, only I got to lie down in a darkened room with rain forest sounds, etc. I didn't want to leave. Then he wanted me to make a massage appointment for later this week and another chiropractic appointment for next week. So massage is on Friday after work. My insurance only pays for half an hour though. I wonder if I changed the appt for an hour, if I could pay the difference. I should call them and find out. So the chiro told me that I am a very tense person and that I carry all my tension in my upper body. When I think about how something as simple as a LIRR train being delayed can send me into spasms of anxiety, I realize that he's probably right. Gotta find a way to relax on a regular basis. Living in NYC is not very conducive to a relaxing lifestyle. On the other hand, you have resources like the chiropractor/spa to help you when all else fails.

Still in so much pain with my back injury. It radiates on the left side of my upper back, into my neck and down my left arm. Of course it is the most painful while I am working on the computer. Having a lot of trouble concentrating at work. I wonder if I should try to find a chiropractor or something. I'm a little scared of chiropractors, I've never been to one.

Hey. Did anyone happen to catch the "Fab 5" on Oprah today? It was awesome, although all of this media attention has me worried. I am so afraid that NBC is going to become too involved and ruin it. I noticed that they had already edited out a "penis" comment when they re-aired an episode on the Network.

OMG, I am such an idiot. So, I had recently seen an ad on TV for this online dating service ( www.eharmony.com). Curious, I went to the site over the weekend. While browsing, I saw that it allowed you to take a personality profile. The site then comes back with some initial potential matches. No obligation, so I did the profile, etc. over the weekend because I was bored. Well, this morning I was checking out the site, and I was on the "Matches" section, again out of curiousity, while I was waiting for the machine I need to be deploying to, to come online. When my BOSS bursts into my cubicle, to see if my deployment will now work. I quickly toggle back to my development window, hit deploy, and, wouldn't you know it, deploy toggles me back to the eharmony.com website (the "Matches" section) while it deploys to that window. With my boss standing over my shoulder. Looking at my "matches". While waiting for the developer's login page to come up. UGH! I think I'll crawl under my desk now. Somebody please let me know when it's 5:00 (PM).

GAH! My back hurts! I can't even lean forward at all in my chair. How am I going to sit here for 8 more hours???

So, the demolition last Friday. What an ugly, ugly job. Woke up on Friday morning to a really humid day. It had been relatively nice and cool all week, but of course Friday had to be humid. Just my luck. Put on overalls for the work, helped Carolina & Janos carry some equipment over to the new apartment, went to breakfast at the diner, came back to my building to get some more stuff and ran downstairs to change into shorts. My overalls lasted all of 10 minutes in the heat -- ugh. Anyway, I spent the entire day unscrewing huge pieces of wardrobe (got to use a power drill -- heh. I need one of these!), peeling off wallpaper, breaking up floor tiles, pulling down metal vertical blinds and hauling out tons and tons of materials, refuse, MDF and wooden pieces, etc. from the apartment to the basement. I was filthy and tired and I reinjured or excacerbated my back problem from earlier in the week. but there was beer afterwards. Yeah.

After demolition and showers, etc. we went to Paul & Luminita's for beer and pizza. We were joined there later by Eugene and Michelle. Eugene had just broken up with his girlfriend (well, she broke up with him) and so I think he hit the whiskey a bit hard. I felt bad, think he really had liked this one. And the way she broke up with him was just so wrong. He had just spent $1,000s on a first-class-all-the-way vacation for them (and apparently spent the entire time walking on eggshells around her mood). They had been home for about a week, he spent an entire day with her helping a friend of her's (move or something, can't remember exactly how they were helping him) and she waits until after he gets home to call him on the phone and say, 'oh, by the way, I just want to be friends.' Uh, hello??? You just spent the entire day with him, couldn't you have said it to his face??? Bitch. Anyway, so he was reeling a bit. Everyone else was just wiped out from the day. I went home at around 11 or 11:30 (early for me). Paul & Eugene were very nice to walk me home, because of the number of rapes that have occured in the neighborhood lately. In fact, we walked right past the exact spot where one of them had occured. Paul pointed this out to me. I walk past that spot ALL THE TIME (even walked by there this morning after my jaunt in the Park). Anyway, it was a nice evening. Glad I came home early and didn't drink too much. I spent the rest of the weekend relaxing after Friday's effort. Relaxing, that is, until 5 AM THIS MORNING when my upstairs neighbors started stomping around -- not to mention the kid running around. 5 AM. This. Morning. Bastards.

Because my *&%$#@$^&%$$##%$% upstairs neighbors had me up at 5 AM today, I was up and out of my apartment by 6 to walk and run in the Park. Just Fabulous.

Got to work early too. Not going to work late tonight. No freaking way.

Wow, is it ever windy out there today. Whipping things up into a frenzy. I guess the hurricane is close enough to effect things around here now. Is it "effect" or "affect"? I never know. If you know the answer, please tell me.

Carolina and I went to lunch today (that's how I know about the wind). She shared with me the latest gossip about Michelle. Apparently she and John (the married guy) broke up. What a relief. Although, I'd be surprised if that is the last we hear on this subject. Also, Michelle received her letter approving her to the co-op. She should be able to schedule her closing date now.

Kind of a slow day as I've pretty much finished my application. I have to review it with the project manager (hopefully, later today) which will most likely result in a few adjustments here and there and then it will be on to the next thing. I can't believe how quickly I was able to write this thing. From zero to completed in just about exactly two weeks. Damn, I'm good. heh.

Rant of the Day: Kew Gardens. Or maybe it's the NYC Sanitation Department. Anyway, last week I noticed that the three trash cans located on various corners of our busy commercial and pedestrian intersection (about a block from my apartment) disappeared. This morning I noticed that they have yet to be replaced. In the meantime there is trash EVERYWHERE. I just want to know who the brainiac is who decided that we didn't need any litter baskets on this corner. It's hard enough to live in a crowded urban neighborhood, sharing a small amount of space with dozens of cultures and encouraging people not to litter (many of whom have the natural instincts not to care), but if you make it at all hard for people to do the right thing then you've got total chaos. And what about the people who grudgingly clean up after their dogs??? There are so few of them already, take away the few places around to toss a, er, deposit and you KNOW that those of us who pick up will be vastly in the minority (we may be already anyway). I sent an email to the Dept. of Sanitation about it this morning. Bastards.

I can't believe this. Someone in the vicinity of my cubicle is eating fucking fish. I feel nauseated.

You know, it's a pretty sad thing when you're writing code and a software error comes back and tells you that your syntax is lazy. sheesh.

I made a commitment to Carolina & Janos to take a personal day this Friday to help them with the demolition of their new apartment. What was I thinking? There had better be beer (and lots of it), and that's all I have to say about that.

It ended up being a bit of a useless weekend for me. Friday night went upstairs to Carolina & Janos's and drank too much pinot grigio. I think we watched a movie too, but I can't really remember too much about it, between our conversation and the wine. Oh well, I think I have that same movie somewhere in my Netflix queue, so I'll see it again eventually. So of course I was feeling the effects of the wine on Saturday, not that I had big plans for the day, but still. Michelle happened to stop by after her interview with the co-op board. She said that it went very well, so there should be no problem. I knew that if they gave her an interview, she should be more or less in. After all, why would they want to waste their Saturday morning(s) if her application didn't pass muster? And if there had been anything wrong, the management company would have let her know way before it got this far. And besides, it's not like this is some frou-frou Park Avenue building that is picky about who lives here. This is Kew Gardens, Queens for G-d's sake! Sheesh!

Today Janos was kind enough to come over and help me (re)hang a picture that has been sitting on my wall for over a year. I had previously just hung it on some existing hooks and wanted to center it over my sofa. It's been bugging me. I have a few prints/posters that I still need to have framed, it's just all about money at this point. Ugh. Don't even want to talk about money.

So anyway, I would normally be a bit depressed after such a dull weekend, but right now I am so happy at work, that I don't even mind at all that tomorrow is Monday. I haven't felt this way about my job in years. The fact that I even have this attitude has me excited. So strange. So if everything else in my life is boring and uneventful, then at least this one thing seems okay. For the moment anyway.

A huge congratulations go out to Julia and Joe who got engaged this weekend! YAY!

my fresh mozzarella tastes like clams. now how on Earth did that happen?

While standing on line at Dunkin' Donuts, I sometimes can't help but be judgmental about some people based upon their choice of coffee. I liken the people who order hazelnut or french vanilla coffees to the type who would drink white zinfandel -- yuk. trashy.

Hey! I just discovered that Blogger added a spell-check function. What a relief! I really need this. Doh!

Making good progress on my new application, so I'm pretty happy. I even look forward to coming to work these days. Go figure. Wish it could always be like that.

In a bizarre twist of fate, my evil ex-supervisor (the one I had the nightmare about the other night) was "let go" from the Company yesterday. If only my dreams had such power. Scratch that, I have too many nightmares about tornados.

I'm surprisingly creeped out about 9/11 this year. I don't remember feeling this way last year. Maybe it's because today is a day exactly like 9/11/2001. Beautiful, clear, slightly crisp. Not a cloud in the sky.

I'm very proud of myself. There have been open boxes of Girl Scout cookies in our server room all week and I have not had any of them. Not one. And I've glimpsed the telltale green box of Thin Mints too. I'll bet they're all gone by now...

oh... fecketty feck. I have a demo to give this afternoon.

ugh. I hate diet pepsi! -- bllleeaarrrgghh!

All I've eaten today is a bagel. I'm literally shaking. Can you say, "low blood sugar"?

Making some soup now...

When is the lottery again? Oh yeah, Wednesday.

I'm having such a frustrating week so far. Between work and the money thing... I was actually looking forward to work this week (believe it or not). Sunday night I was not depressed about coming to work on Monday morning. For a change. I've actually been enjoying work a bit, since I really like what I'm currently working on. It's tough and frustrating though and I hit more than my share of roadblocks, but I ended last week more or less on a good note, so I was ready to dig in again on Monday. And then on Sunday night I had all kinds of evil dreams about work. The most significant piece of the dream involved this horrible and evil manager I used to have here. She was the type to resent other women who might have half a brain. You could get far with her by sitting in her office for most of the day and gossiping and sucking up to her. If you wanted to work and try to get somewhere, you were on her shit list. And if she didn't like you, she found plenty of ways to A) let you know, B) undermine you, and C) let the "Big" Boss know that you sucked. It took me a couple of years, but I got out of that department (she is still in this company and still pulling the same shit with unsuspecting people years later). Anyway, I dreamt that all of a sudden I had to work for her again, only in addition to all the current managers and project managers I work for. I dreamt that I was working hard on my current project, but that she kept popping up demanding my time on stupid and inconsequential work (like making copies of fax cover sheets for her and other inane tasks) and in the meantime, complaining to my other managers etc. that I was dropping projects, had a bad attitude. And then because so much of my time was spent dealing with her and her crap, all of my real projects were slipping too. It was a horrible dream. That was Sunday night. In the meantime I've reached another roadblock with the application I'm currently working on. This happens and is to be expected, but it makes the work frustrating. And what makes it worse is that I've broken something that I actually had working, in the course of trying to solve my current problem. And I'm not exactly sure what I've done. So I'm frustrated. Broke and frustrated.

And you thought it was all just fun & games on my blog.

So, I moved to Queens because I just couldn't justify the cost of living in Manhattan anymore. Especially since I really wasn't going out or to restaurants or anything else much, to really take advantage of living there. So I purchased a relatively inexpensive apartment in Queens (that's another thing, I was never going to be able to afford to buy something in Manhattan). So here I am, about a year and a half later, and all of a sudden I'm more broke than I was living in Manhattan! I know a big part of it is I've taken some vacations (real vacations where I actually go somewhere) and have bought stuff for the apartment and I've just generally not been so careful with money. Living in Manhattan I lived very simply and spent little money because that's the way I had to live to survive. I think I've gone a little crazy in Queens. Well, the good side of this is, this is a bad month. Things should get better. My monthly apartment payment is still pretty low. But right now things are fairly dreadful and depressing. TG for Chrissy who is going to lend me some money. I just don't know where it's all gone, I even got a nice tax refund this year. As if my job wasn't stressful enough! GRRAAAAGGGHHH!

just where does my money go??? graaaahhhhh!

Haven't had time to blog -- busy!

Anyway, a relatively pleasant weekend. The weather here was/is PERFECT! Low to mid 70s, low humidity, sunny. As my friend Paul said on Saturday, "Top 10 Day". Hung out with Carolina & Janos on Friday night and watched "Identity" and drank wine. Not too scary, but generally a pretty good movie as far as that kind of thing goes. Kept you thinking just about until the end. Saturday Carolina, Janos, Paul, Luminita and I all went to lunch at a local pub. Sat outside and ate (did not have beer -- hhhmmmppfff) and then we went over to see Carolina & Janos's new apartment. It's huge! But does it ever need a lot of work -- yikes. That evening we all had a picnic in the backyard of our building. Jerry, Kathy & Claudine were also out there along with Jake, Lola's friend. So the two dogs had a lot of fun chasing each other around. Later that night, Carolina & Janos and I went upstairs and watched "Old School". I was pleasantly surprised by this movie, expected it to be incredibly stupid and sophmoric, but we really laughed the entire way through it. I originally just rented it because Vince Vaughn is in it, but it ended up being enjoyable beyond that. "Frank the Tank" -- heh. Sunday I did a little cleaning and then brought Lola to the park for a long walk/run combo. It was so nice, especially off the roads on the trails and bridle paths. It just amazes me how few people really use this area of the park. We saw hardly anyone. Although, at one point I passed two women walking and was treated to a cloud of perfume, bleargh. At least they were drawing all the mosquitos away from everyone else with the stench. YUK. Speaking of stench, cleaning lady just invaded my cube -- ugh!

So Michelle has her co-op interview (for my building) this Saturday. She's nervous, but I would think by now they must know whether she qualifies. They wouldn't waste a Saturday morning if they weren't pretty sure they were going to accept her. Of course I was one of her references so that could have completely blown her chances.

I have such a headache! I think I need a cocktail or something. It's Friday after all...

V. restless today. Why won't someone talk to me??? Nobody is emailing me. My friends on IM are not IMing. Nobody has any gossip! GAH!

so glad it's friday, so glad it's friday, so glad it's friday...

But, really. This week has flown. Guess that's what happens when you're busy. And it's pretty much been the good kind of busy too. At least the work part. My social life currently leaves a lot to be desired. Have to get back to the gym, etc. at the very least. At least it's cooled off a lot here in the North East. At least for now. Some park time may be in order for this weekend.

so tired... feel like crap... must go to bed early tonight... argh! still at work!

So funny how you can hear the stampede of people from Accounting right on the dot of 5 o'clock. I heard them all, looked at my watch and, sure enough it was exactly that.

Okay, I just ate a MEDIUM cup of Haagan Daz chocolate ice cream. Do you think I'm stressed and overwhelmed or what?

Anyway... the meeting went well. They were very happy with my stuff. Now it's up to them to test it and bang on it and give me some feedback so I know what they want to change (there is always something). In the meantime, it's on to the next piece of the puzzle we're putting together here and it's giving me &*^%#$ fecking agita. I don't even know how to spell that.

Earlier in the day I was on an elevator with this really, really nerdy woman from Accounting (and some other people). Accounting Woman was talking to one of her collegues and all of sudden she exclaims, "Daisy Fuentes is HOT!" I almost snorted out my nose, such was the surprise humor value of this statement (especially considering the source). This was made even better by Accounting Woman's voice, which is this extreme nasal-whiney twang. Definitely one of those scenarios that fall under the catagory of, "you really had to be there". Hmmm, I think most of my stories fall under this category.

Presenting my completed application to the "client" today (meeting at 11). So nervous...

Worked pretty much without a break all day and here I am home and logged into work. I had been working on a side project with the VP of my division before I (and then later, he) went on vacation. Now he has some additional work for me to do and, since I don't want it to interfere with the project I am already up to my neck in, I'm trying to get some of it done from home. How dedicated am I?

On an unrelated note, Lola has been getting stuck under the sofa again lately. I think she does this when the weather turns cooler.

Just ran into co-worker who doesn't like me in the Ladies Room. I said, "Hi". She didn't respond. Again. Bitch. She's probably the one who's been peeing on the toilet seats. Some people truly do suck.

Okay. I'm starting to make a little progress on this new project and so I'm not feeling quite as freaked out as I was. Of course, that feeling will return shortly when I reach another stumbling block.

I was reading this on the train this morning and the woman across from me eyed my book (and me) with dismay the entire ride. It's just a novel, lighten up! I didn't stare at her, afterall, even though she was wearing orange and white horizontal stripes on top and green and white vertical stripes on the bottom. Sheesh!

It makes me mad that I can't even call my own father without having to talk to his new wife first. Apparently she speaks to her (married, 40 yr old) daughter something like 4 times a day (uh, hello? am I the only one who finds this incredibly strange?) and thus she practically sits on the phone. My father used to have a cell phone, but he's even handed that over to her. So unbelievably annoying.

Rant of the Day: Women (in my office) who PISS on the toilet seat in the Ladies Room -- GAAAARRRGGGGGHHH!!!! I mean, what kind of person does this???

I hate the start of a new project. Before I know what I'm doing, when I'm in the initial stages of trying to figure stuff out. I always feel borderline stupid with a slight underlying feeling of panic that I'll never be able to do it.

so hungry... must have lunch...

A little drama at the train station this morning to entertain everyone waiting (train was late, of course, it was raining afterall). Guy pulls into the little parking lot across the way (other side of the tracks). The only spot left is in a completely flooded part of the lot. Not only is it flooded, but this area of the lot is not paved, so that corner is really knee-deep in unimaginable gunk. Guy is desperate, so he backs his car into the spot. Water and gunk reach to the top of his wheels, almost to his door. Opens his door and angles himself out, one foot on the running board of the jeep next to him, one foot still inside his car. Pulls his briefcase and umbrella out of the car, holds in one hand, pulls the other foot out and puts it on the running board of the jeep. Now he is at a strange angle, with his legs on the car next to him, while his upper-body leans agains his car. He realizes that he can't do this while holding his briefcase and umbrella, so those go on the roof of his car and he then tries to close his car door. Opps, his suit jacket is in the way, door closes on it. He then repositions himself, bracing his body so that his hands are on the roof of his car, legs still braced on the running board of the jeep. Manages to close the car door. Now he is still angled above the knee deep gunk, his only option (other than getting incredibly wet and dirty) is to somehow get to the back of his car, crawl over it and reach the pavement of the train platform across the way. At some point, the car alarm on the jeep goes off. Perfect. He manages to do some kind of crab walk, one leg on the jeep, one leg on his car, dragging briefcase and umbrella behind him. Gets to the back, scrabbles back over to the jeep and jumps to the platform. Everyone across the tracks on my platform burst into applause. The guy then looked up and saw us all watching and kind of blushed and waved. It was highly entertaining. I wonder what will happen tonight when he has to get back in the car? Particularly if we have more rain.