I (literally) Have No Words

Today in the mail I received the long-awaited invitation to my Father's 75th Birthday Bash. I had wondered if I would be invited at all (especially after talking to my father last week where there was no mention of any party) and I also commented at one point to my sister or a friend, I can't remember which, that I didn't even know when the party was happening. Since his birthday is on a Wednesday, it could easily be the weekend before or the weekend after. I then joked that for all I know she was having it on the Wednesday. The response from sister or friend was, "oh, I'm sure she wouldn't do that!" The subtext, of course, is that no one would be that stupid or clueless.

Well, guess what? The party is scheduled on the Wednesday! Along with the invitation, which (by the way) is the kind of invitation you would send out for your kid's 7 year old birthday party or something (I mean, complete with a cartoon elephant and monkey in primary colors declaring, "It's a Party!"), there is a note from Lori (wifey) gushing about how she hopes I'll come. Well, how in the Hell does she expect me to be able to come on a FREAKING Wednesday???!!! Is she crazy? I mean, she does realize that I live, at minimum, a five-hours drive away?!

It's also not as if someone is offering to buy me a first class plane ticket to fly in for the party either. That honor is reserved for her own daughters. I'm sure they are all already scheduled to be staying in the spare bedrooms at my father's house too. So even if I somehow was able to come, I most likely wouldn't have a place to stay anyway (unless I didn't mind the couch or something).

If I didn't know better, I would think this was some mad scheme to alienate my father from his own family. But she just seems too ditzy to be that machiavellian. Or perhaps I'm being naive. But anyway, SHEESH!