Well, the gathering at Carolina & Janos's has been upgraded to a small party. In addtion to Carolina, Janos, baby Roland and myself, there will be Woods & Wendy and Gab & Ponch. I don't feel quite so pathetic now.

I guess I should be thinking up some goals for 2004. I didn't really have any for 2003 and look what happened...

You know you've been watching too much reality TV when you have a dream about Jessica Simpson and a friend trying to bake a cake. While stacking the layers of the cake, Jessica turns to her friend and says, "is this a cake?"

Sheesh!

UGH. Stinky Curry Girl is at it again! I think I may barf.

Am I the only one who gets stressed out about New Year's Eve? That frantic feeling that you must do something auspicious? This is what seems to happen every year: everyone will be going along, Christmas/Holiday parties planned well in advance, lots of talk about who goes where for Christmas itself, etc. And then all of a sudden two days before New Years, one or two people start to frantically try to put a party together. It's like we all woke up from our Christmas stupor only to discover (horror of horrors) that [GASP] "We don't have plans for NEW YEARS!!!" So there will then be a flurry of emails, phone calls, voice mails, etc. "What are you going to do?" "I don't know, what are you going to do???" "I think D is having a party, are you going to go to that?" "I don't know, who's going to be there???" During which I will surely at one point just sit back and realize that all I really want to do is relax at home with Lola, some beer and some movies. But will I feel like crap later for not having gone to a party or something? Or I could do the Midnight Run in Central Park. It'll be relatively mild this year and I can bring Lola. But without fail, every year I go through this same thing. Every. Damn. Year.

Have I mentioned that I really hate it when people bring their kids to work? First of all, it takes a whole lot of arrogance to assume that nobody else has any work to do, just because it is a "play day" for you. But secondly, I invariably end up in the position of having to make goo-goo eyes at some kid I have no connection to, whose parent I am just acquainted to because our desks happen to be in some relative proximity. Or the alternative is to sit at my desk and continue to work, ignoring the squealing spawn & adults outside my cube walls, in which case I come across as the crabby crab of the year. Guess which option I chose today?

UGH. It's only a little after 10 AND I got here late this morning. This is going to be one loooooooong day. Somebody just shoot me right now.

There's at least one really good thing about having to work during a holiday week, when so many others seem to be off: The trains sure are a lot emptier in comparison. Nice to have a relatively stress-free commute for a change.

So, on Christmas Eve I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" for about the bazillionth time. To me, the movie is so over-acted and melodramatic, but it still manages to make me cry like a complete idiot. Anyway, I was watching the climatic scene where he is running around town realizing how horribly off all his friends and family would have been, had he not been born. And it gets to the part where the angel has to tell him what has happened to his wife. George Bailey keeps insisting that he be told, Clarence (the angel) doesn't want to. Finally he exclaims, "You're not going to like it!" and then goes on to say in a very grave voice, "she's an old maid, she never got married." And I really had to laugh at this point, because the inference was that this was the absolutely worst thing, the pinnacle of bad things that happened to everybody. Worse than his brother dying at age nine. Worse than his uncle in an insane asylum. Worse even than a whole shipload of soldiers dying in the War because his brother wasn't there to save the transport. The worst thing by far was to be an unmarried woman. Oh yeah, and one other thing. For some reason, by not ever having married George (or perhaps any other man) Mary also required the use of glasses.

Christmas at my father's turned out to be relatively uneventful, if somewhat boring. Although watching my father and his new wife hanging on each other from time to time, was disturbing. Her daughter from Kansas is also there for the week and luckily I get along quite well with her. And my brother was there as well, and so it was also nice to see him, particularly since I haven't seen him in a couple of years and communicating with him is not easy. Basically, I will email or call, but he never returns my messages or posts. If I do (by some miracle) happen to catch him on the phone, his responses to me are always grunts or non-committal, ambiguous one-syllable words. So I gave up trying to keep in touch with him years ago. He's much better in person. Anyway, I stayed overnight on the pull-out couch, but was happy to come home this morning as I didn't sleep more than a couple of hours there, as usual. Even Lola was restless all night long. Anyway, another Christmas overwith. Don't have to stress again until next year.

Happy Holidays to all.

Actually kind of glad I didn't end up going out to Jersey tonight. I'm kind of enjoying relaxing here with Lola. Plus, I get out of having to go to Midnight Mass to watch Lori (my father's wife) sing.

Scary: Just spoke with my father to arrange what time and where he will be picking me up tomorrow. After we've figured all of that out, I ask him what car he'll be driving (so that I know what I'm looking for). And he says, "well, we'll either be in 'ZoomZoom' or 'Bluey'". ???!!! I said, "let me get this straight, you've named your cars???" Well apparently so. I may just lose my lunch.

Decision made. Lares swung by and invited me to go to lunch. Since we rarely do that anymore, and he is moving to upstate in another month and we won't have too many chances to again, I decided to go. So a couple of beers and a burger later, we were ready to call for the check, when this other guy who works for our company sent over another round of beers -- ACK! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Needless-to-say I don't think I'm going out to Jersey today. Still have to figure out what to do about my shower though.

Oh, and the other thing is, even though the rest of the company appears to be more or less gone, everyone in this department is still more or less here. So, it's not like I could have told my father that I would be out of here by 3:00 or whatever. Bastards.

Well now, Christmas. I am in a real quandary about what to do. I'm somehow supposed to go out to my father's house in North Jersey. He generously has offered to pick me up in Manhattan (he draws the line there, getting out to Queens is completely ridiculous) since I'll be carrying a 25+ lb pug in a bag. I debated about bringing her to work with me today, but I sit in a cubicle and I didn't really know what the atmosphere was going to be around here, but now that I'm here, I see that it's pretty quiet. Could probably have gotten away with bringing her. I was also running around this morning dealing with the shower disaster and generally just freaking out, so I just. couldn't. deal. Now that I'm here, I wish I had brought her though. So now my options are to: A) somehow do a round-tripper home on a (long) lunch hour to pick her up and bring her back. B) once I leave for the day, go home and come back into Manhattan. Or, C) take the train in with her tomorrow. And I just can't decide what to do. Any thoughts?

I did the dumbest thing this morning. Was finished with my shower, had just brushed my teeth, etc. when I reached into the shower to twist the faucet tighter since the water was still dripping (it is always dripping). Well, I completely snapped off the faucet. Broke clean through. On Christmas Eve, no less. I am a moron. Now I don't know what I'm going to do.

Since today is the 21st -- is it the equinox or Winter solstice or whatever? Does that mean the days will start getting longer again? Finally?

Christmas party last night at Gabrielle & Ponch's. At first I was pretty taken aback when we arrived and found a roomful of kids. Michelle and I (the only single people at the party, I might add) at one point just turned to each other in horror when more people arrived with yet more kids. The situation just called for drinking wine, and lots of it. It ended up being fun though, got to see some people I hadn't seen in a loooooong time. Like years & years & years. Most notably Mica & Cindy -- Mica used to have a duplex apartment in Chelsea with a couple of guys and they used to throw the best parties! I forged many of my current friendships at some of those parties. As a matter of fact, I remember at one of their New Year's Eve parties my current boss (who was just a distant friend at the time -- we didn't work together until years later) drank so much that he ended up rolphing into one of those plastic, New Year's top hats. I still think of that now, whenever he pisses me off, or if I feel intimidated. I'm so evil (heh).

So funny. I just ran into the UPS guy when I was coming in with Lola. He had a whole handcart full of boxes. He looks at me and says, "Sullivan, right?" I replied, "Yes, how did you know???" and he says, "I just know." So strange.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention about the Queer Eye video thing from the other night. They filmed part of it in "The Fez" (nightclub associated with Time Cafe ). I can't tell you how many Friday nights I've spent in that place (the one in the video on Lafayette, not the one on the Upper Westside) drinking (what Bridget Jones, or some other heroine from some novel I've read, would call) "complicated cocktails". Of course this was all a few or more years ago before all of my friends started having babies and we all got so dull and old and boring.

"O' Holy Night" now. On a rock station. That's right. gaaah!

ARGH! They're killing me with all the Christmas songs!

Caught up with the (Making of) The Queer Eye Music Video last night. I liked it, mostly because it gave each of the guys more or less the chance to comment on the phenomena of their sudden celebrity. Although, what's the deal with Carson? Does he think he's the star of the show or what? The music video was made to go along with the Show's theme song, "All Things (Just Keep Getting Better)" which I guess you can look forward to hearing on a radio near you. I guess it's no worse than when the "Friends" theme song was released as a pop single. How long did we have to endure that?

This day so far is moving really slowly. I have this very tedious thing to work on, which isn't helping matters at all, believe me.

Did anyone happen to catch the Queer Eye Holiday Special last night? I enjoyed it, it was kind of fun to catch up with some of their former victims. I didn't stay up for the Queer Eye Music Video however, but I recorded it to watch tonight, so we'll see. I have my doubts about it, but could be it's just a major goof.

Gawd I'm tired this week. I really am. I've tried to be better about getting to bed and turning off my lights at a reasonable time, but it's still not usually before 11:30 or midnight. So here I struggle just to shake the cobwebs out and keep my eyes open this morning. Really looking forward to being able to sleep a little on Friday. Maybe I'll feel better after that.

My God. Now they're playing The Little Drummer Boy. Really. ACK!

So I listen to this lame rock station here at work. Basically, the reception here stinks, so I don't have a lot of choices. Anyway, I'm listening to it and they are playing Christmas hymns. Hymns! What is this??? ARGH!

Have I mentioned that I hate the title of my blog? I wonder if it's a pain in the butt to change it? Is it worth the bother? Don't even know what I would even change it to, I just don't like the name as it stands now. Gah!

Julia comments:

"I am going to my Company party on Thursday. It's huge. People hear about the Fidelity Christmas party even if they don't work here. It used to be much bigger until we moved a lot of people to remote offices. Anyway, I made sure I came back from India in time to catch it. I wouldn't miss it. Free food, free wine and beer, cab rides home... it's terrific."

Well, we used to have really great Christmas parties here too. I've been to formal parties at: The Plaza, The Pierre (very chichi), The Rainbow Room, Tavern on the Green, Cipriani's, to name just a few. It was always a total blast. Everyone got very dressed up and there was open bar and great food and it was always on a Friday night so you didn't have to worry about going to work the next day. That all ended a few years ago however, when they started laying people off. Now the company shells out $25 a head per department so that each group can go do something. $25 is never enough though, so you end up haven't to chip in some for it. Don't even think I'm going to bother this year.

ARGH! The chick who sits in the cubicle behind me eats this crap that smells (strongly) of a cross between curry and maple syrup. Every. Damn. Day. It's disgusting (and so rude).

Thursday afternoon is our departmental holiday lunch. Reservations have been made at some restaurant that I am not very interested in (one of the menu items is "fried okra" for cripes sake) and I am not feeling particularly festive nor social. Especially in light of the fact that we won't be receiving raises for the third year in a row. And also there are some politics around here lately that make me uncomfortable and not really up for all the phoney chit chat. It exhausts me just thinking about it all, to be honest. I'm thinking of skipping it. On the plus side, there would be unlimited beer/wine for a couple of hours. sigh, what to do, what to do...

Well, I spent some time tonight putting stuff away, cleaning a bit, sorting through a lot of my crap and trying to organize things somewhat. I feel a little better now.

Put in for a personal day this Friday. The Season, NYC, my job and my life are all getting me down. I need a day off.

I hate to be a cliche, but...

The Christmas season always gets me down and this year is no exception. Between the financial and guilty pressure of obligation and having no one special to be with, the whole thing just sucks all around. Add to that the looming New Year (again with no one special to share it with) and the natural inclination to review the past year and think about what's not working in my life (which is quite a lot, I must say). I just have this overwhelming feeling of dread and hopelessness and unhappiness.

Looks like the snow storm turned out to be a bit of a bust. It looked promising when it was snowing heavily until 3 pm or so, but then the snow changed to rain -- and it's raining out there still. Looks like all the snow will wash away in the end. I wonder what this will do to my LIRR commute tomorrow?

Apparently I am still living under that rock because I didn't really have a clue about this morning's snow storm either. Went outside with Lola at 9:30 and there was already about 2 inches and it was coming down hard. Ran into a neighbor who said that the snow hadn't even started yet at 7:30 when he was out with his dog. 2 inches in 2 hours and counting. This is so bizarre for our area. We rarely get snow in December, and if we do, it's usually not a significant amount. To have two big snow storms like this is very unusual. I don't even think it's offcially Winter yet.

Oh and they caught Saddam Hussein -- that's the other big news I didn't know about. But at least that appears to be breaking news this morning, so I'm not too far behind on that one. I've got to think they've been predicting this storm for a while.

Told Carolina & Janos that I would help them with their apartment renovations again today (because I have no life). Now I'm waiting for them to call. While my own apartment is a complete disaster. Need a bulldozer or something for this place. Ugh.

I finally saw Pirates of the Caribbean tonight at Carolina & Janos's. I really enjoyed it, but feel that Johnny Dep really made the movie move beyond being just yet another action picture. Orlando Bloom had his moments too, but Johnny Dep provided a character that gave the film significant humor and a personality that made the movie stand out, for me anyway. It was just a fun movie that was perfect for a Friday night. Enjoyed the characters and the action and didn't have to think too hard. Nor were my emotions manipulated and twisted into a knot. Good, clean fun. Yeah, that's it.

So disappointing: I got a hair cut last night. Lopped off a good bit too. It was a number of inches below my shoulders and I had it cut to a couple of inches above. So a relatively significant haircut. However, no one in my office has noticed. Not one person. Ergh!

Email to the LIRR:

subj: Horrible Service -- Trains Constantly Delayed -- Poor Communication

What gives? My morning train has been late (significantly late, over 10 minutes and as much as 20 minutes or more) EVERY single day this week. Every day. Some mornings there are announcements and some mornings (like today) there are not. I rush madly around my apartment in the morning to be on time for the train, yet I invariably end up standing on the platform amongst other equally frustrated and pissed off passengers waiting for a train that doesn't show. I end up at work late as a result, I end up having to work later at night. The service of your organization just seems to become worse and worse, yet the prices continue to rise. Your latest price increase has me paying around $130 for a monthly ticket -- to go 8 miles. 8 miles! Yet the service is despicable. Additionally, we have to endure surly staff (ticket clerk at the Kew Gardens station) and completely over-crowded trains (I think for $130 a month, I should at least be able to sit down). What are the LIRR plans to improve service? Currently the situation is completely unacceptable.

-Frustrated Passenger

Yesterday I went over to the desk of our department javascript/HTML/Web-stuff "expert" to get some help with my javascript issues. He's a pretty cute guy and our paths don't cross often, so I'm usually a little shy around him (he has a GF, so it's not like I am "after" him or anything, it's just one of those things that gets me flustered). Anyway, I spent almost an hour with him and afterwards I went into the Ladies room where, lo and behold, when I looked into the mirror, I noticed that I had somehow sprouted a zit. Right in between my eyes. And I hardly ever break-out. Additionally, I had somehow developed some kind of red heat rash on my forehead. Our office area is so hot and it was particularly so yesterday. So, nice, attractive picture I must have presented. Sheesh!

I know this is completely redundant, but... delays again this morning on the LIRR. 20 minutes this time, with no announcements to the poor slobs waiting anxiously on the platform (of course, that's what I said they should do yesterday -- just didn't know I was going to be taken literally). At first when we had only been waiting for a couple of minutes, I thought to myself, 'no, it just can't happen again. No matter how much I complain about the LIRR, it would be ridiculous to be late (significantly late -- over 10 or 15 minutes) every single day this week. Even for them.' But sure enough, 20 minutes late. And of course the train was horrendously over-crowded (no seats available at all and limited standing room) AND it made an additional stop in Woodside. I just find this whole state of affairs maddening and frustrating. I feel so completely helpless, there is nothing I can do, I just have to continue to pay their exorbitant fees and take the service they provide, for good or for bad (mostly for bad, as it seems).

Since I brought my lunch to work today (as I'm proud of myself to have been doing all week), I didn't have a chance to run any errands, since I never left the building. So I ran down to Duane Reade for a couple of minutes just now. On my way back to work, coming through the mezzanine at the back entrance, I couldn't help but notice all the smokers socializing and laughing it up out there like it was a good old cocktail party. All that was missing were the cosmos, martinis and finger foods. I don't understand how hard-core smokers get away with it these days. To have to constantly run downstairs and outside to smoke. And then they all seem to run into their smoking buddies, so I would think they tend to hang out for longer than it takes to smoke one cigarette. I just don't get it.

Nothing like banging your head on a wall trying to figure out how to code in javascript when you've had no training in it at all and rarely need to use it. I hate feeling stupid.

So, I gave up two hours of my life to watch Ryan & Trista's wedding last night. Why? I have no idea. I didn't even watch the Bachelorette! So it's not as if these people even have any meaning for me. But watch it I did. The whole two hours. While commenting out loud to myself and Lola about what a load of schlock it really was. But still watching. They staged it like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. One commenter in the main "booth" while occasionally shooting to ground reporters staged in different places. It just amazes me that these two "average" people are somehow now super-celebrities. Like these beautiful people couldn't get a date before ABC stepped in. Please. I would like to see programming for a show called, "Old Maid" (in addition to the "Average Jane" show I suggested earlier this week). You get some past her prime, 40 or 50-something year old woman who has to wade through a crowd of 40 or 50-something year old guys. Many who have real intimacy issues. Some are divorced and have lots of baggage, are paying alimony and have evil children who don't like the idea of a step mother. All have completely twisted expectations, wanting to date a 23-year old blond, hard-body cheerleader (and not the 40-50 year old woman).

What is with the Reality phenomenon anyway? I think this is the end of civilization as we know it. Certainly I feel my meager intelligence seeping away as a result of watching the small amount of reality programming I have over the last month or so.

Of course there were delays this morning on the LIRR. It's raining afterall. At this point, I think there have been more morning delays than not (over the last few weeks anyway). I think the railroad should forget about making PA anouncements when there is a delay and instead just announce when the trains are on time. Along those same lines, perhaps I should also only remark when the LIRR is on time.

I just got a piece of spam mail that is advertising, "Get TOTALLY Free Condoms on the Internet!". Uh maybe it's just me but, I'm not sure this is an area where one should be looking to getting something for nothing.

The girl in the next cubicle is eating something incredibly stinky AGAIN! ARGH!

Open-air office plans suck.

Everyone knows how much I love The Fab 5, but during the course of the show last night, Bravo was promoting the up and coming "Queer Eye music video" (to be previewed after next week's episode). Is this an example of the media over-exposing and turning a good thing into a pop culture joke? Over-saturating the public with something just because the image in question was well-received in its original form? I hope not, but time will tell.

Oh, and there were delays on the LIRR yet again this morning. Bastards.

Geez, I just re-read the two entries below. Think I'm in a bad mood or something? I blame the LIRR...

Thought I'd try to save some money this morning and drink the free coffee in the pantry here, rather than buying it from Dunkin' Donuts (those soulless bastards) or Primo Cappuccino or similar. However, I don't think this is quite going to work -- ecccccch!

Delays again this morning on the #$@!@&*)$%#$ ass-sucking LIRR. Bastards.

I have a guilty secret to confess. I've been watching Average Joe. Tonight was the finale when the beauty had to choose between "Average Joe" Adam and "hottie" Jason. Personally, I was rooting for Adam, the "average" guy and no, not just because he was the underdog. He just seemed sincere and sweet and there seemed to be a great chemistry between the two. And by the way, he actually was cute, just not a model-y type. I guess a huge part of it was based upon who I would have picked (I guess that's what you end up doing with these shows) and for me having someone who makes me laugh is just such a huge thing. The guy who won, Jason, seemed nice enough and sincere as well, I just thought Adam was such a great guy all around. But what do I know, my romantic history is certainly fraught with way more failure than success. But there you have it, I found the ending very disappointing. I would actually find it extremely interesting if they broadcast an "Average Jane". Of course the average girls would be immediately voted off once the models all showed up, so I guess it wouldn't end up being much of a show afterall.

A week or so ago I bought these "buffalo wings" from the freezer section of my local health food store. They're made with soy and "stone-ground wheat gluten" and are completely vegan -- sounds revolting, yes? I finally decided to give them a try tonight and I have to say they were surprisingly good. Certainly not as good as real buffalo wings, but not a bad facsimile -- good tabasco taste too. And all for under 300 calories. Woo! Too bad I didn't have some beer to go with them though, buffalo wings just aren't the same without beer. But then, I guess that would sort of be defeating the purpose of the healthy "wings" now, wouldn't it?

I have no idea why there should have been delays on the LIRR this morning when the storm ended well over 24 hours ago (and has been brilliant and sunny ever since). They've had plenty of time to get things sorted out, I would think. Bastards.

Wow, we got a lot of snow this weekend. Storm 1 blew through on Friday dumping, I don't know, maybe 5" or 6". Woke up on Saturday morning to storm number 2 (the news channels called it a "blizzard") which continued all day and into the night. I spent the day helping Carolina and Janos with their apartment (they are pretty much down to the wire with time and there is still a significant amount of renovation to be done, so they're taking help wherever they can get it). Carolina's mother kindly made dinner for us afterwards. When we walked from their building back to our's at around 8 PM, we noticed that the snow had finally stopped, and we figured that the storm was finished. However, when I took Lola out at 11:30 it was snowing again quite significantly. Was still snowing when I went to bed (I guess around midnight or so). Who knows when it ever stopped? But it was sunny this morning. Things are kind of messy out there now. But traffic seems to be moving okay and everything is open, etc. So I guess it's back to normal here in NYC.

I've been thinking long and hard about quitting NYC, leaving my job and moving somewhere cheaper to live, work and go back to school. I've been having a lot of dreams lately, my subconscious is really working over time. I think I'm having a mid-life crisis and don't know what to do. I think I need another beer...

drat. I left all the beer at Carolina & Janos's...

It's snowing like crazy out there. It's actually kind of exciting. Wait until Lola sees this tonight, she'll go nuts. On an unrelated note: Penn Station was insane when I ran down there at lunchtime. Children and senior citizens swarming everywhere. I think the Christmas Shows at the Garden have started. And of course all these kids were with school groups and all were linked together, holding hands, so trying to get past was like waiting for a freight train to end. Hordes of people also stood outside my office building blocking the entrances, making a quick errand to pop down and grab lunch an unexpected ordeal. But the snow sure was pretty.

Julia notes that I should have the Weather Bug on my system. Well, I used to have it installed on my computer at work (which is where I really need it because I sit far from a window and never have a clue about what's happening outside) and it drove me bonkers. So I uninstalled it. So there. heh.

I must be living under a rock or something. Apparently there is some huge snow/nor'easter-style storm bearing down on the NYC area -- just in time for the weekend, or so I hear, but not, unfortunately, in time for a snow day tomorrow (boo). They were going on about it on the News like it's something that's been talked about for days. And maybe it has, like I said, I appear to be living under a rock.

Cher is having W&B for dinner tonight. I'm jealous.

So. Busy. Today. But, it's a good kind of busy, so I'm not complaining (believe it or not).

Julia is in India now. So weird to think that it's already tomorrow for her. And she is probably in the middle of her day or something while I sit here falling asleep in front of The West Wing. Anyway, I know that she was not looking forward to this trip, but it sounds pretty exciting nonetheless.

I wanted to blog about some more stuff, but I am so tired tonight that I feel brain damaged. It's all there somewhere in the far reaches of my mind, but I think that's where it's going to stay. At least for tonight.

I've had a problem with the LIRR every day so far this week. Monday were delays that got me to work about half an hour late. Yesterday was the debacle coming home that left me in Jamaica. This morning there were vague announcements of delays again. As we stood, helpless, on the platform watching train after train just fly through the station (while we all froze, I might add). Got to work twenty minutes late. Must be because it is cold. Yeah, that's it. Bastards.

The first scene in Queer Eye (the one when they're in the Suburban, pulling up to the straight guy's office) was right across the street from my office. I mean, my building was in the shot. Damn, should get out at lunch more. Could have maybe met the Fab 5. I think I enjoy the episodes that involve Manhattan straight guys the most (like tonight). Certainly, I relate more to the tiny apartment do-over. I just can't relate as much to some Mc'Mansion make-over in Jersey (as nice as it might be).

The LIRR strikes again. Train decides that it's not going to stop in Forest Hills or Kew Gardens tonight, so it dumps us all in Jamaica (after sitting outside the station and not moving for fifteen minutes). Then it was a mad dash to the end of the platform, down the stairs, find the right set of stairs back up to the correct platform, dash to the other end of that platform and jump on the train moving west. Argh! Damn them!

Asinine thing at lunch today: Hot & Crusty (sandwich & pastry place) markets this lunchtime thing, cup of soup and half a sandwich for $4.50. Yet when you go to the place and try to buy this combination, they make you wait on two lines. First you wait on one line to order your soup. They give you your soup in a bag. Then you have to go to another line and order your half-sandwich. AND then you have to sort of jockey yourself into the register line to pay. Additionally, because of this method, I ended up with three bags for my lunch (one for the soup. one for the sand. and one for my soda). I'd like to meet the brainiac who came up with this new system. Argh!

I was just in my manager's office and I'm standing there talking to him and I look over his head and out the window and... it's snowing outside! I can't even believe it! (I love snow). I must have somehow missed the weather report this morning. kewl.

Seen at the train station this morning: Woman desperate to park, pulls into a spot (on the other side of the tracks) in the skanky muck "pond" that has formed from all the rain we've had. This water smells, I have to hold my breath when I get off the train at night and walk past this stagnant water on my way home. Anyway, she pulls in and gets out of her car wearing long, woolen pants and back-less mule shoes. Steps into that skanky water (deeper than her ankles) like it was nothing. I was completely flabbergasted. People are crazy.

Greedy @$$&*^#$ Dunkin' Donuts just raised their prices again! As if I wasn't already in a bad enough mood this morning. bastards.

I forgot to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving. Oh well.

Anyway, I am very proud of myself because I actually cooked! I rarely cook (beyond grilling something on the foreman grill and steaming vegetables), but I had a hankering for stuffing (it being Thanksgiving and all). So I bought a chicken and stuffed it (a turkey would have been a bit much, don't you think?) And cooked it. And it came out pretty good, if I do say so myself. I didn't do potatoes, because that seemed like a lot of work and pretty silly just for me, but I bought some frozen turnips (I love turnips) and also made a little salad. Everything was surprisingly good, especially stuffing (that once in a year treat I hadn't really had in years). Lola even got in on it as I cut up some dark meat and mixed it in with her dinner (of course her nose was out of joint for the next meal when she discovered that fresh chicken was not going to be an ongoing accompaniment). So now it's nice to have some leftovers in my fridge that actually stand a chance of being eaten. Woo.

I Have a Question: I would really like to post links to some of the blogs I read regularly and enjoy, but mostly the authors of these blogs are more or less strangers to me. Is it good blog etiquette to post a link? Or should you gain approval from the blog owner first? Discuss...

So it's after midnight, I was just outside walking Lola and there are a bunch of obnoxious teenagers loudly whooping it up on the street so I go, "shuuuusssssh!" One of them goes. "shuuuush!" back to me and so I say, "you know, this is a residential neighborhood, you are walking among people's apartments, under the windows of people's homes, have a little respect". They don't answer until about a couple of minutes or later when they're all the way around the corner, then one of them yells, "slut!" I laughed out loud, and then reply, "oh yeah, I'm a slut, in baggy sweat pants and no make-up, picking up my dog's poop." If only my life was that interesting.

Okay, I am now is such a freaking bad mood. Today is the day before Thanksgiving and my Company released everyone to go home around 2:30, yet my entire department remains! So, it's not like I can really just go waltzing out of here (although I would, if my boss would just leave already!) Argh! this is so frustrating. So here I sit wasting time by reading blogs. I've even already done my ass-sucking-self-eval-year-end-review. UGH.

What is Bugging Me this Very Second: The girl who sits in the cubicle behind mine crunching (unbelievably loudly) on whatever the hell it is she's eating -- ARGH!!!!

it's driving me insane...

I enjoyed last nights Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I felt a little sorry for the poor, deluded straight guy who was such a slave to his toupee. A toupee! I'm glad they were able to convince him to ditch it. (aside: I never knew that they glued these things to people's heads! Gaaaaah! Does not seem too healthy if you ask me). Anyway, one of the things that I think I really like about this show is that it has a heart. The Fab 5 really seem to care about the guys they make over (they also seem to really care about each other). They manage to make it funny and still be kind to the guy. The show could easily have gone in a nasty direction. Almost each episode seems to produce a straight guy who has true tears of graditude. Oh, and I must say, I really love what Thom did to that house -- it was gorgeous. Wish I could afford to have him come out to Queens and whip my little hovel into similar shape. So, for those of you who may have missed last nights episode, NBC is re-airing it tonight at 8 PM (EST).

As I sit here trying to remember what I was going to blog about, I notice that Lola is oddly absent. Damn! She's probably in the other room eating that napkin I left on the sofa. She can be sneaky, that one.

The project manager on my BIG project keeps changing the methodology and structure of the project. That means that the logic flow, applications and even the databases keep changing. Which means that I keep having to go back and change work that I've already completed. I wouldn't mind so much except that sometimes this means literally ripping the guts out of a program I spent weeks (or even months) building. Like what I've been going through all of last week and so far this week. So I completely broke my app last week. Nothing worked and I couldn't put it back together. It was like Humpty Dumpty. Imagine my panic (added to the stress of the layoffs). But I was finally able to fix it this morning. What a relief!

Speaking of layoffs. I had a nightmare on Sunday night. I dreamt that I was being laid off -- it was so real. You know how you can sometimes have a dream that seems very real, but then there is something weird about it that you can't quite put your finger on at first. Finally you have an 'aha', "oh, right. Tom Cruise is not my boss!" or something to that effect. Well, not so with this nightmare. Everything was like real life. My cubicle, the cast of characters, etc. I woke up and it took me a while to really shake the dream off. So I commuted to work with more than the usual Monday trepidation. Luckily I've had a relatively good week so far and have been able to banish the dream to the farther corners of my mind.

Minor Annoyances for Today (so far):

- People who bring small children on a commuter train.
- When you buy your whatever at Dunkin' Donuts and you're waiting for the bag, step aside so the person behind you doesn't have to reach over you to pay for their order.
- When you're getting on an elevator and there are people behind you also waiting to get on, do you think you can maybe step further into the elevator so the rest of us can get on???
- If you called and spoke to me last Thursday and confirmed my appointment with the dentist. AND called and left me a voice mail this morning to confirm again. Do not require me to call back to re-confirm! Gaaah! I'm busy enough today! (nobody is in here)

Added to the List (1:51 PM):
- HORRIBLE smell of (the chick's who sits behind me) lunch. I'm gagging bleargh.

Added to the List (7:32 PM):
- Duane Reade lost my prescription.
- My train home was late arriving to Penn Station, pulling in about 2 minutes before it was due to leave and thus causing a stampede rush for the available seats.
- The running shoes I bought this Summer are really not working out. I don't know if I just happened to get a bum pair (kind of like getting a lemon car) or that they've changed the model so drasically from last year. Either way, I am not pleased.

I took a nice, 3-mile walk with Lola this afternoon because the weather is so beautiful here and I never really get to see much of the daylight during the week this time of year. Queens is a completely different world to Manhattan, it really is. In the course of our 3-mile walk we saw 2 dogs. Literally. In Manhattan (in the neighborhood I used to live) you wouldn't be able to walk 2 feet without seeing at least a couple of dogs. And people's reaction to dogs around here blow my mind. You get everything from complete indifference, to suspicion to absolute horror and terror. At a pug. Imagine if I was walking a rottweiler or a bull mastiff or something. People are strange.

I have to say, I'm a little upset by the apparent demise of Dr. Romano on ER tonight. He was obviously not a favorite, but I think he added humor and sarcasm and a conflicted, multi-faceted villain to the show that they will be hard-pressed to replicate in his absence, I think. Certainly an edge that Carrie Weaver will not be able to provide as she come across as pure bitchiness with no humor at all (in my opinion).

I talked to my good friend Sandra earlier today. Sandra moved back to Ireland a few years ago and I miss her so much! One of these days I'll get my act together and make a trip over there to visit. Of course she was none too pleased with me to hear that I was in London in August. Said she would have flown over to meet me. Oops.

I believe that I had my singlemost worst (so far) LIRR experience this morning. Announcements of delays of 20 minutes, they then extended that to 30 minutes (while we're all standing there in the rain). Train that finally arrives was so packed, there was only room for maybe 2 more people to squeeze on (and that was by with practically standing on the toes of the people already standing there). I managed to just barely get on, but squeezed in so tight, I could actually feel and smell the hot, bad breath of the guy standing behind me (unbelievably gross). Train had to of course then stop at Forest Hills AND Woodside. There was a woman a couple of people away from me, who had dandruff (GROSS!). I felt sorry for the girl in the black sweater standing behind her, who kept having to brush off the flakes that came her way. ICK! It was such an uncomfortable ride and I was so frustrated that I literally felt myself on the edge of tears. I hate commuting!

I. Am. So. Tired. I think I'm actually getting sick. Got all those warning signs, headache, sore throat, that heavy-achy feeling. Too bad cuz I was really on a roll. It's been about a year since I had any kind of serious cold.

Gaaaah! I must have the most uncomfortable chair ON EARTH! I'm not kidding.

I'm having a relatively good day today. Especially considering how this week started out. I've been busy and productive and was able to figure out something that had me tearing my hair out on Monday & Tuesday. I love when that happens. I all of a sudden feel "smart" again.

oooooo, someone nearby is eating soup or something and it smells really good. Now I'm hungry.

Enjoyed tonight's Queer Eye. Of course I am pretty much always a fan of getting rid of the facial hair, in my opinion a beard or moustache is rarely a good look. Unless you're maybe trying to cover up a deformity or something. And I don't know what goes on in other parts of the country, but here in NYC we were treated to a cheesy, low-budget commercial for a Gay porn website (mygaydar dot com, or similar). At least I think it was for Gay porn, I can't imagine it was an ad for a hip line of clothing. Somehow I don't think this ad would be so welcome over on NBC. But I could be wrong, Gay seems to be the Black these days...

YAY! a new Queer Eye for the Straight Guy airs tonight at 10 PM (EST) on Bravo. Looking forward to it. (Yes, this is how exciting my life actually is)

Rant of the Day: The president (and owner) of the company I work for who made a point of being out of the country when the layoffs were happening yesterday. Nobody liked what happened, but be a man, step up and at least be present when your staff is being let go. Especially since many of these people worked for you for over 20 YEARS! Pisses me off.

This morning's tear-jerker Today segment featured Matt Lauer's admiration of Hospice Care Workers. A subject close to the emotions of most people who have stood over a loved one with a terminal illness. Why does NBC seem to plot these things for the exact time I'm trying to put my make-up on??? As if it wasn't already hard enough to get out the door in one piece in the morning. Sheesh.

Today was such a screwed up day that simple kindnesses really made my day. Like the guy who let me step ahead of him when getting off the train this morning. And the guy who held the elevator for me, even though I wasn't all that close. Little things like these seem big when ugly things are happening in your world.

OMG! I just found out that a long-time friend of mine here was laid off. Also upsetting is the fact that she is not a young woman. She had worked here for probably about 20 years. It's going to be hard for her to start over. Bastards!

So far, I have heard of a lot of old-time programmers being let go. People who have been here since the beginning of time, practically. Also heard about an admin from the department next to mine, whom I'm friendly with who was let go and some other people here and there. My friend Lares just called me to see if I was still here. Uh, yes, so far... (actually, I was led to believe that I was safe. For this round anyway, who knows what the future holds?)

Well, the layoffs have started...

Lola has this weekend morning ritual of waking me up. First, she'll stick her face in my face (usually licking whatever she has access to). Then she will alternate sitting on one of my hands with sitting on one of my feet, moving back & forth across the bed as she does so. Well, this morning she added a new feature to her weekend repertoire. She stuck her face in my face and then she climbed up on my pillow, turned around, backed up, and sat. On my face. How weird is this dog?

So, they've pushed back the layoffs at my company until next week. This week they distributed a document about severances (as in, what severance people are entitled to, based upon years of service). The rumors are flying and I have a little more information. I know who is being laidoff in Chrissy's division. In my division I don't know, except that they are looking for 13 or 14 people from my VP's area (his area is comprised of five or so departments). Last I heard was that my specific department is not being asked to lay anyone off, but that also seems to be changing daily. Every round of layoffs seems to skim that much closer to us. I hate sitting here knowing that all of this is about to happen, just waiting for the axe to fall. I hate that there are going to be layoffs, but if they have to happen, then get it over with already! This is torture. Yet another weekend will be spent in complete anxiety.

I have two words for the wind out there tonight. In. Sane. Special weather broadcasts are calling a warning for winds in excess of 60 MPH! I would think that has to qualify for gail-force, at what point is it considered hurricane-force? 100MPH? Afraid to take Lola out there for fear that she'll just blow away.

It is a beautiful Fall day here in NYC. The rain and the fog from yesterday seem to have cleared out the air, so that by this morning it was crisp, with that slanted Autumn light I love so much. It was very windy, and I enjoyed watching the low white, blue & gray clouds moving quickly across the sky, against the vivid blue backdrop. The wind also kicking up all the leaves on the ground and stirring things around, making that rich, November rustling sound (before things turn to Winter harsh). This is the texture I've been missing during these unseasonably warm days.

Okay, so dinner wasn't so terrible. Except for the one stray comment of my father's asking wifey, "what's honeybun going to have for desert?" shudder

Okay, what is with the cleaning lady in this place?! She comes into my cubicle (without knocking, I might add -- my door was closed) reeking of her tacky perfume. She then proceeds to dust. Around me. While I'm sitting here. I know being a cleaning lady is not exactly the best job in the World, but geez, you don't have to dust if I'm sitting here! gaaaaah!

awwwwww -- a colleague here went out at lunchtime and bought a chocolate cake for me for my birthday. Isn't that nice?

Seen on my way down to grab my salad for lunch -- a man wearing a fez. Really.

So tonight is the dreaded dinner with my father and wifey. I am so not looking forward to this. Hoping to try and talk someone into going for a drink first. As Julian says, "I need a primer" (or two).

I want to know who the brainiac is at my company who decided that it was a good idea to schedule a blood drive (today) the day before they hand out flu shots (tomorrow)??? I mean, really.

On an unrelated note. My train this morning was two minutes early. Actually about seven minutes early, when you consider that it is normally about five minutes late. The volume of people waiting on the platform was significantly less than usual. Have a feeling there was an unpleasant surprise in store for some of the lollygaggers.

So what is with The Today Show? Why do they always schedule these tear-jerking segments right when I am trying to get my makeup on and leave for work? This morning it was about some guy who wanted to thank the teachers he had had in 8th grade for making him feel like he was "worth something". ARGH! Kind of hard to stick to a schedule in the morning when you're crying all over yourself. I'm such a sap.

OMG. Cher has actually written two blogs in a month. So far. I can't believe it! (And, I should say, I'm impressed -- heh.)

Went for a bit of a run tonight. Started in Forest Hills Gardens, turned onto the quieter streets so that I could run in the street rather than on the sidewalks. Through my meanderings, I ended up on Metropolitan Avenue and so I followed that back towards Kew Gardens and Forest Park. I decided to brave the park, even though it was quite dark, but I just ran up the first hill into the park, to the top, turned around to run back down and repeated a couple of times. The park was deserted and it felt rather creepy, so I was careful not to run too far in (I saw no other people at all). Hardly the ideal run, but it was better than riding the couch.

Why is it, whenever you take a class (makes no difference what the class is) there is always one know-it-all in the bunch? I was in a half-day class this morning and wanted to smack the smug, techno-geek with greasy hair in front of me. Instead, I spent the three hours rolling my eyes behind his back everytime he felt compelled to impress us with his "superior" knowledge (which was often).

Is it bad that all I want to do on the weekend is sleep?

So, I've spent most of this weekend worrying about the layoffs that are supposedly happening at my company this coming week. So far, over the past couple of years, my department has escaped the knife (so to speak), but I can't imagine that continuing indefinitely (should these layoffs continue). Friends in other departments speak with confidence that I would be safe. The opinion is usually that I have a lot of seniority and that I am one of the essential staff in my group -- how do they know? I think everyday of how I could be replaced. I don't think I would be so freaked out about the prospect of being laid off if, A) I was younger -- I'm just too old to start over, especially doing something else. And B) I didn't have debt. I would feel a lot freer to make a big change, if not for these things. Certainly, if it were to happen, I would think very hard about whether I wanted to stay in the NYC area. Julia keeps talking to me about relocating to the Boston area. And I would love it, truly I would. I've always considered myself a New England girl. Spent every Summer of my life on Cape Cod (until I was in my early 20s), I went to college in Massachusetts. I have two cousins who live in NH (v. close to the MA border), my roommate from college is in Wellsley, Julia & Joe are in Boston. I have other friends around the area. I also used to spend a lot of time in VT as my sister lived there until their big move to New Mexico a couple of years ago (they still come back every Summer for a vacation on Lake Champlain). I could have a life in New England. The big problem is finding interesting employment that would pay me a livable salary. Getting a car, finding a place I could afford to live, etc. Oh, it's just so overwhelming! Chances are I'm not being laidoff anyway, my manager is on vacation next week and I'm handling some things for him while he's gone. And I didn't get any weird vibes from him at all (and I tend to be sensitive about this stuff). Of course, on the other hand, he could maybe not even know that I am on the chopping block. He could come back to work the following week and find me gone (believe me, I have heard some stories from other depts in prior layoffs where this kind of thing happened). Anyway, see? I'm obsessing. Nothing I can do about it now anyway.

So my friend Julian happened to stop by my desk for a visit yesterday. During the course of our conversation, he asked how Lola was doing. I said, "Oh she's the same happy girl. In fact she is so happy, it almost breaks my heart. She's just so happy with so little." Julian gave me a strange look. He probably thinks I'm crazy.

This morning for breakfast I had a Jello Pudding cup (chocolate, of course) and an apple. I feel like I'm about 8 years old.

I had to give a presentation this afternoon. Doesn't matter how many of these I give, I just can't get used to it. I hate public speaking. I actually don't mind presenting an application I've been working on to the users it's written for. But this kind of presentation freaks me out. But it's over now. At least until the next time.

So, I had this nightmare about Dr. Phil the other night. I dreamt that he was living in this apartment building with his family and I happened to be walking down the stairs of the building. I knew someone who lived in the apartment complex, or I lived there somewhere (I can't remember which from my dream) but went to his particular building because I thought I might catch a glimpse of him (which is strange because I am not usually the star-struck type). Anyway, I was walking down the stairs from the floor above his apartment when he happened to be coming out of his front door. He saw me and thought I was some crazy loony stalker that had been bothering his family (knowing that I was not the person who lived on the floor above). He grabbed me and shook me and yelled and yelled at me and told me to leave his family alone. I was struck by feelings of guilt and shame (because I had been in the building for a Dr. Phil sighting after all) and upset at the unfairness of it all (I wasn't the psycho he mistook me for). It took a long time to convince him of my innocence at which time he finally, half-heartedly, apologized, but was none too thrilled with me nonetheless. I've got to stop watching so much damned TV. Sheesh.

OMG! It is soooooo hot out, I mean like mid-70s hot. Like Summer. I was over-heated just walking around Columbus Avenue tonight, if I had to run a marathon tomorrow I would be freaking out.

Dinner last night at Rancho with good friends and tonight at Pomodoro with more of the same. I love NYC Marathon weekend, it just flies by too quickly though.

Oh. Holy. Crap. Somehow my elbow has worked a hole into the sleeve of my shirt. Curses. Same thing happened to a new-ish sweater the other day. Same arm. Have my elbows all of a sudden gotten sharp??? sheesh, feel like Shanty Irish here.

Oh. My. God. There are kids all over Penn Station. I mean they are everywhere! I couldn't even get into my building. Seriously.

Greatest (non-alcoholic) beverage invention ever: Dunkin Donuts Extra-Large Coffee -- fabulous.

Managed a bit of a run tonight in the little annexed park that sits above Forest Park. Some people were there socializing while their dogs played, so I let Lola off her leash so she could join in the fun too. Kind of like an informal dog run. Was rather nice that it was dark as the park was empty of the usual kids and strollers and obnoxious teenagers and such. Except for one kid alone with her father screeching her head off (and most apartment buildings don't like to have dogs because of the noise -- sheesh). I ran a few laps around, ended up being not much in the way of exercise, but it felt good anyway. On the way home ran up this one hill and almost choked after passing man in leather pants doused in a ton of fumey cologne. UGH.

Did anyone catch ER tonight? Holy fuck. I hope I don't have nightmares now.

fuuuuuck! Just dumped an entire bottle of Diet Coke out all over my desk. Typical.

Gaaaah! everyone is running the NYC Marathon this year. I just found out that my former running partner will be running on Sunday. She used to meet me in Central Park on weekday mornings at 6 AM while I was marathon training. Wish I could have returned the favor. Got to get my ass in gear. Was going to go spinning tonight, but think will go run instead. Its a beautiful day, besides I don't have the dog walker today and should get right home to let Lola out.

Chrissy read in the Daily News this morning that H&M plans to launch a line of ("50s inspired") dog clothes and accessories in February. I told her not to mention it to Lola as she likes to spend my money.

Scary rumors flying around the company again. This time about some supposed layoffs that happened yesterday with rumors of an enormous layoff planned for the first quarter of next year. V. unsettling.

Horrible, pouring down rain day. Lola just stood there in the rain with her tail between her legs and wouldn't poop. ARGH! You would think I was torturing her. Announcements at the LIRR station said that all the trains were delayed 15 to 20 mins. This is actually a good sign as once they bother making the announcement, the trains are usually pretty much back on schedule. Sure enough, my train showed up "on schedule" about 3 minutes after it's advertised arrival time.

so tired... can hardly keep eyes open...

Sort of a lame spinning class tonight. I knew it didn't bode well when the instructor (who was a sub) showed up 10 minutes late and wearing ton of pancake makeup. To a spinning class. Sheesh.

What I was saying about the NYC Marathon earlier in the week? Scratch that. It's supposed to be in the 70s on that day! Gaaaaaaah! Gaaaaaah!

Will be great for spectating though. Might even be able to sit outside in a cafe somewhere with Lola the Pug.

Sorry for being such a whinebag all day. I was in a pissy, whiney, grouch-ass mood. AND my workstation was unbelievably hot. Really.

Anyway...

Managed a short workout in the basement gym tonight. Luckily, I had the place to myself. Did 20 minutes on the elliptical machine and 20 minutes running on the treadmill. Yes, running. While running, I had the misfortune of watching part of the Radio Music Awards. Saw a segment with Michael Jackson. He just gets weirder looking everytime I see him. He looks like a marionette. So strange. But I guess I don't have to tell you that.

GUH! like a sauna in here...

I am so hot in this &*$#@ cubicle that I'm about to spontaneously combust! I swear.

so cranky today... need something interesting to do...

Another dreary, bleary Monday. And humid as Hell... GAH! I thought we left this kind of weather on the other side of September?

I need a new project to do at work.

Wine with The Girls last night... argh! why can't I ever remember how drinking (even a little) wine makes me feel the next day??? And I did not have just a little. And somehow we never got around to having dinner.

I'm feeling really special today.

So all the alarms were going off here for awhile earlier. Finally, there was an announcement that the "situation is under control". What situation? You mean like the situation was under "control" in Tower II when Tower I was on fire?

For those who were wondering... Yes, I did make it to Spinning class last night. Also squeezed in an upper-body weights workout. So there.

and I thought that I needed to get out more...

... (see below)

Heard in the ladies room (two women talking to each other from different stalls):

Woman1: "It's cold today, think I'll go out and find some soup."
Woman2: "And then what?"
Woman1: "And then I'll go to KMart and see what's exciting. See if there is anything juicy up there."

juicy. At KMart.

So another New York Marathon approaches and another year wraps up during which I could have re-established my running program. The NYCM always brings these feelings of regret to the surface. The year I trained for and ran the NYCM (1999) was among the happiest and most memorable of my life. In hindsight. At the time I was exhausted, and most likely overwhelmed, but I can only look back fondly. I'm older now and heavier and no longer living next to Central Park, so it is definitely much more difficult to train. Difficult, but not impossible. Besides, running the marathon doesn't necessarily have to be a goal (it's just an inspiration to get and keep a running program going), just being in reasonable running shape with a consistant schedule would be fantastic. Looking at the bright side, I am a lot farther along now, than I was this time last year. I do get out there and run (sometimes). I'm pretty good about making two spinning classes a week. Weights twice a week. I just need to do more of all of this. Running at night is not so easy in Kew Gardens once the days get shorter, but that doesn't mean that I can't run in the mornings, or after work in Central Park, or along the Hudson Bike Path. I just need to get myself out there. Also, my biggest pitfalls (for some reason) are weekends. I am the most incredible lazy-ass on the weekends, it's unbelievable.

So, tonight is spinning. I will go to spinning. And do some upper body weights. Tomorrow I told Carolina that I would have dinner with her and watch a movie, but I can maybe hit our apartment building gym first. Even if it's only for a half an hour. Or take Lola for a quick run/walk. But Saturday I vow to do something! So somebody please hold me to it...

UGH! Such a slow day at work. I'm not used to this and I don't like it. Not one bit.

The phone call last night and the resulting "arrangements" now have my birthday on my mind, which has me now... depressed. My birthday always turns out to be a disappointment, this year I get to obsess about it for almost a month beforehand. Great.

ARGH! Phone was ringing and I was stupid enough to pick it up. Ended up being my father's new wife wanting to know if I had plans for my birthday and, if not, would I go to dinner with them. I was caught off guard and couldn't think of an excuse fast enough, so now I'll be stuck on my birthday making casual chit chat with my father and his wife whom I'm just having a hard time liking. As if my birthday isn't depressing enough already. And, while we're talking about it, why did she call and not my father anyway??? ARGH!!!!

I hate my life.

Damn. I was going to post the website for "The Newlyweds", but I was denied access to the MTV website. Bastards. That's what I get for blogging from work.

New Guilty Pleasure: "The Newlyweds" on MTV. Jessica Simpson & Nick LeChay have just gotten married. MTV follows their every move ala "The Osbournes".

One random episode:

Jessica is on the phone discussing her upcoming birthday.
"23 is old. It's almost 25, which is almost mid-20s!"

Another random episode:

Nick & Jessica are out to dinner with some friends. Before them on the table is a platter of various appetizer items, among the food, a pile of Buffalo Wings. One friend offers Jessica some wings. Jessica's response:
"No, I don't eat buffalo."

Friend's response:
"When was the last time you saw wings on a buffalo?"



You just can't make this stuff up.

Took a run/walk with Lola tonight. It was cool, crisp and very dark. Wanted to go to the Park, but didn't feel safe. So, instead we did some meandering around Forest Hills Gardens. Among the million dollar homes. So peaceful and beautiful. Although I feared tripping on crooked pavement, the streets were so dark. We came away unscathed however and I now feel a little refreshed.

We also met a pug puppy named "Alex" as we started out. So cute, he is about 8 months old and reminds me of Lola at his age. Of course Lola acted unseemingly mature around him. I think she was showing off.

All of my friends continue to move on with their lives. Having babies. Buying houses. Leaving me behind, stuck in my boring old rut of a life.

I think I'll have a salad for lunch. Wait. That's what I have everyday.

Rant of the Day: Greedy freaking Hudson News bastards! Why does a soda cost $1.60 there, when everywhere else in Penn Station it costs $1.50. And if you're going to charge more than everyone else, the least you can do is give me a damn straw! You would think straws were a precious commodity. And then on top it of it all, the greedy bastards always have such a nasty attitude. I was reminded today of why I try to never shop at the Hudson News stands.

So, the Yankees won last night. I'm glad. I'm not much of a baseball fan, but if I have to make a choice, it's Yankees all the way. I actually even watched part of the game. Ellen, Ken & I went to a sports bar after Spinning last night for a couple of beers, so we caught part of it there. The atmosphere was pretty charged. I actually kind of like watching baseball in a bar, you're comfortable, you can drink beer (going to the ladies room is not an ordeal) and there is this spirited sense of camaraderie with all the other people in the bar rooting for the team (assuming you're all rooting for the same team that is). Anyway, they were losing when we left (the game started so late! I had to work today -- sheesh!) but apparently they pulled it off with a homerun in the 11th inning -- amazing. So now we've got another series. NYC is an exciting place when the Yanks are in the Series. Even if you're not a baseball fan.

Have you ever tried to cut up an apple with a plastic knife? It's not easy, believe me.

Cher said: "Hey, I didn''t know what was scarier, Santa or Kmart. Tell me, do hillbillies flock to Kmart in NYC?"

No, do you want to know what the scariest thing is? Walking through Kmart and having people stop you all over the store because they think you work there. Happens to me every time I shop there.

Update on the Staten Island Ferry thing. Well, not much of an update, but I went to one of the local news channels sites and found a video from earlier and it said that the accident happened around 3:20 this afternoon, so Lares wouldn't have been on a boat that early. He never did call me back however. hrrrmmmphh.

OMG! I'm sitting here watching Oprah and there is this segment about P.Diddy running the NYC Marathon and they're interviewing one of his coaches and who is it but Neil Cook! I know him! Too funny.

God, I just heard about a terrible accident on the Staten Island Ferry tonight. 10 people killed and many others severely injured. I've been trying to get in touch with Lares who lives on SI and commutes on the Ferry! But there's been no answer. Hopefully he is safely in a bar in Penn Station drinking beer.

Oh, I forgot to mention: I saw the scariest thing yesterday while I was in KMart shopping for yet another gym lock. Life-sized mechanical dancing santa. Caught it at first out of the corner of my eye. Scared the crap out of me. Looked at it full-on and it scared me even more. shudder.

Kick ass Spinning class tonight. There was a sub, the regular instructor couldn't make it, and while I usually really like her class and appreciate her enthusiasm, I thought tonight's class was the most well-rounded Spinning class I've take so far at NYSC. He had everything in this class. It was unfortunate that he didn't have a microphone however, so it was hard to figure out what he was saying. I had a pretty clear view of him, so between his words, and watching him I mostly always knew what he wanted us to do, but I know others in the class didn't feel the same way. Oh and the room was HOT -- ARGH! I thought I was going to just melt into a puddle underneath the bike by the time the class was finished. I came out of there (between the workout and the heat) limp like a wet noodle. It was great.

Oh, and I had a rant for tonight, but now I can't remember what it was. Bummer.

Rant of the Day: People who try to "piggy-back" through a locked security door! This is just so... rude and it really puts the person you're trying to piggy-back with in a hard position. You end up having to be the bad guy. We have security doors for a reason! There have been rapes in this neighborhood. This is NYC, there are robberies, etc. Whatever, it's just plain rude.

Why am I sore today, from a weights workout I did before Spinning class on Thursday? GAH!

So I took Lares out for a birthday drink tonight. He really seemed down in the dumps on Tuesday (his actual birthday) so I offered to buy him a couple tonight. I think he misses the good ol' days when he and I and Chrissy and Psycho and Sergey (Psycho II) used to hang out on a regular basis. Now Chrissy is working on her second kid, Psycho is a housewife in NJ, Sergey is driving 'ho's around Brooklyn (don't even ask, I really have no idea) and I am just old and boring. Amazing how life changes so quickly, all of this was really at the most three years ago. Anyway, we had a good time at the newly made-over and mod Niles bar. Lou also stopped by for a beer. Both guys commented on how "white" everything is. I just liked it because there is now more bar space. And the bartender bought a round. And there was free hot wings. What more could you ask?

Seen today when I ran out to grab my lunch: Black dude on Down escalator wearing baseball hat 3 or 4 sizes too big, decked out in sports jerseys etc. Two gold earrings, mouthful of gold teeth. Well-dressed black dude on Up escalator leaning over and laughing hysterically at first black dude.

Rant of the Day: People who smoke cigarettes while riding up an escalator -- GAH! So rude and inconsiderate.

don't even get me started on smokers, I may never stop.

Because I'm lazy, here is an Instant Message conversation I had with Chrissy this afternoon (about my father, his new wife and the holidays):


me: so I got into a sort of fight with my father on the phone yesterday

me: he was talking about me coming to Taos for t-giving and when I said that it probably won't happen, he said, "well I hope you'll come out here for christmas!"

me: ACK!

me: somebody just shoot me

chrissy: so what did you say to that?

chrissy: all of a sudden he wants his family together

chrissy: not that that's a bad thing

me: something about how I really hate going out to NJ

me: yeah, he, Lori and me all cozy for christmas

me: I think I may throw up

chrissy: well he's trying

me: I get out to NJ and feel so completely... trapped

me: I wouldn't mind it so much if I could just go for dinner and then go home

me: but three trains, etc. that's not doable

chrissy: oh true

chrissy: did you say you would come or you just ignore him

chrissy: why don't you invite them over for an x-mas dinner this way they come see you and then leave. and I dont mean on x-mas day maybe one day that weekend

me: oh, that's a good idea

me: or the day before or something

me: come for xmas eve and leave

chrissy: right so they come for 2 hours or so then leave

me: lololol

chrissy: right

chrissy: lol

me: "okay, you have to leave now"

me: lolololol

chrissy: well they come for dinner they would not expect to stay over

me: right

chrissy: and if they have plans on x-mas eve and x-mas they can come that sat or something

me: plus they can drive

chrissy: yep

me: well, whatever

chrissy: you'll figure it out as it gets closer

me: or even better, we call all meet for dinner somewhere in Manhattan

me: around christmas

chrissy: true

chrissy: easier

me: and I don't have to cook or anything

me: and Daddy pays

me: heh

chrissy: what was the reason you gave as to why your not going to Taos for TG

chrissy: lol

me: told him that I've already taken a lot of vacation time and I still have to make until april -- true

me: that I have this project with a deadline for the end of the year and don't know if I should be taking vacation time much anyway -- true

me: told him that even with him paying my a/f that it will still cost me money as I will have to pay the dog sitter, etc. -- true

chrissy: yep

me: what I didn't tell him was that I couldn't stand the thought of being cooped up in my sister's house with he & lori for a week

me: ACK!

chrissy: lololol

me: which is probably the biggest reason why I don't want to go

me: I asked him if they were planning on staying at my sister's house and he said yes

chrissy: yikes

me: which would mean, if I came, I would have to sleep in Sophie's room

me: which would mean I wouldn't really have much of my own space

me: not so bad for a couple of days, but for a week I start to go crazy

me: need my space

chrissy: me too

me: so all around I am really not into it

chrissy: a couple of days or a weekend but any longer

me: and I'm just exhausted thinking about a trip out there

chrissy: no thanks

me: between all the travelling to get there and then not getting much rest while there

me: and the emotional exhaustion

me: I just can't deal

me: of course I didn't tell him all of that

chrissy: right and no need to

me: oh so the latest is that Lori is taking catechism classes so that she can convert to catholism

me: I was like, what the F*???

me: seems so ridiculous

chrissy: well maybe not to your dad

me: he said it is all her idea

chrissy: weird

me: well, it just seems crazy to me

me: I can see if you're young and you're going to have kids

chrissy: right

me: but that's obviously not the case

chrissy: even if she wants to go to mass with him on sunday

chrissy: go

me: and it's not going to change the fact that she's divorced

chrissy: no need to "offically" convert

me: so they still can't get married in the catholic church

chrissy: well she is a weirdo from what you tell me

me: and I really find it hard to imagine that you're brought up jewish, you're jewish your entire life, and all of a sudden your beliefs are going to change b/c you're married to a christian?

chrissy: right

me: it just seems like it's a conversion for convenience more than anything

chrissy: I am sure it is

Did anyone happen to catch, "Trading Spaces: 100,000 Grand" this weekend?

I happened to walk past an oil delivery truck this morning and it reminded me that this is definitely one of the things I don't miss about living in Manhattan. In my old building anyway. The brownstones across the street and the building next door had oil heat and it seemed like one of these trucks was pulling up in the early morning a few times a week in the Fall, Winter and Spring. First you would hear that deep, diesel rumble and then the air breaks. I would lie in bed with a pillow over my head muttering, 'oh, no, dear god, don't let it be another oil delivery'. The next thing to be heard was the metal-on-metal banging as the service man opened the receptacle on the street. And then the truck would sit there, idling loudly for at least a half an hour, long enough that any thought of further sleep was long gone. If the delivery happened to come a little later (say at 8 AM, rather than 5 or 6), I would have to turn my TV up so that the Today show could be heard over the rumble and rattle. Nope, I do not miss that at all.

I managed to drag myself into Manhattan yesterday morning to take a yoga class at the NYSC in Chelsea. Ellen, Ken & Harriet joined me. This was not like the laidback yoga classes I took while on vacation -- oiy. The funniest part of class was, however, when the instructor was attempting to tell Harriet how to do something, and his instruction was prefaced by, "first get the look of terror off your face". The whole class enjoyed that.

Yoga was followed by lunch and beer at a sports bar in the neighborhood.

I am very sore today.

I have this vague feeling of unease today, that I forgot to do something. But I can't figure out what...

Feeling very Fall-like today in a burnt-orange sweater that I bought the other day at Old Navy. I was really looking for some Fall pants. I had it in my head that a pair of dark brown cords might be in order. Of course, all I found were cargo pants up the ying yang, and the only cords that didn't have pockets on every conceivable surface were light blue, pink, or cream. I just can't get into these pastel-y colors for Fall. Gimme chocolate brown, deep reds & purples, black (well black for every season), charcoal gray, etc. And what's the deal with all the damn pockets??? I don't mind owning a pair of cargos or two, but not every single pair of pants, comeon.

So, I lent my friend Lares $20 the other day. He was going to a Springsteen concert after work and had forgotten to bring his wallet that day. So, no biggie, I happened to have it on me and we had just gotten paid, etc. So yesterday I ran into him and he was telling me about the concert and there was no mention about the money (he had said at the time that he would pay me back the next day). I didn't mention it either. So now I feel a little awkward about it. Do I bring it up? Do I wait for him to remember? I hate to come across as a cheap-ass or a nag, but I also can't afford to be throwing $20 bills away. Maybe I'll give it until next week (by which time he is sure to have completely forgotten about it). ARGH!

Thanks go out to the brainiac at the LIRR who thought that the only schedule worth posting at the Kew Garden's West-Bound station was the East-Bound version. Why would I want to know about trains headed into Queens when I'm already in Queens and on the side of the tracks that heads West into Manhattan? grrrrrrr. Bastards.

How can one be insanely busy AND bored at the same time? Sheesh!

damn. I didn't win the lottery. again.

(back to dull normal)

Call me crazy, but I scheduled another massage appointment for this Friday evening. The chiropractor wants me to do another half hour massage, and I just can't see going there for only a half hour session, so I'm going to pay the difference again and have a full hour. Even though I really shouldn't be spending money like this right now. This is my last one for a while, I swear!

(maybe I'll win the lottery tonight)

Dinner last night for Harriet's birthday. A great time was had by all. We went to a little Italian restaurant on the Upper West Side -- my old neighborhood. Now everytime I go up there I am reminded of how much I miss it. Anyway, good food and fun and only 2 glasses of wine (which is a good thing on a Tuesday night). If I only had two glasses of wine, how come I got on the wrong car going home to Kew Gardens (you have to be in one of the first four cars). Luckily I realized my mistake at the Forest Hills stop and had time to make my way forward. Otherwise I would have ended up in Jamaica (which is not pretty -- trust me). Today I feel as if I have garlic oozing out of my pores. I pity the chiropractor at my lunchtime appointment.

Oh, and we went to Pomodoro, the Colombus Avenue (Manhattan) location, of course.

I can't believe that my girl is three years old today! Time goes so fast.

ARGH! I just chewed up a pepto-bismal caplet that I discovered (too late) that I was just supposed to swallow. Bleach-pooey-bleeeekkkkk!!!

I stopped in the fish market on my way home from the train tonight to pick up a piece of salmon. There was a woman in there ahead of me with a double stroller taking up much of the space near the counter so I had to kind of crane my neck a bit to see the fish. After a few minutes she saw me and turned her stroller around to face me, while saying (I'm not sure whether to me or to the two kids in the stroller), "want to say, 'hi'?". Uh no, no thanks, not interested. I just kind of glanced at the kids and then continued my perusal of the fresh fish. Why is it everyone with a kid thinks the whole world wants to make goo-goo eyes at it? Now if it had been a puppy...

Such indigestion today. v. unusual for me. On a good note, I made a lot of progress today with the "quickie" reporting project I was given in between my last completed application (for my "big" project) and the next one.

Just watched the movie My Dog Skip on Ellen's recommendation. I was bawling beyond all recognition. This kind of movie always does it to me. Thanks Ellen. Of course I was hugging Lola and crying all over her. She thinks I'm insane.

Went with Paul & Luminita & baby Alex to sit outside at Austin's and drink some beer late yesterday afternoon. Carolina & Janos could not join us as they were working on the new apartment. We thought it would be a nice, lazy Saturday afternoon activity and who knows how much longer we will be able to sit outside? October is next week after all. They didn't allow Lola though, I was very upset about that. I've brought her with me to the outside area there numerous times with no problem before, I wonder why all of sudden they have a problem with it. Bastards. This is one of the things I don't like about Queens, it is so... suburban in many respects. I never had a problem taking Lola with me anywhere in Manhattan. Certainly never a problem at an outdoor cafe (which is basically every restaurant on the Upper West Side in the Summer). God, I miss it. Anyway, so I dragged Lola home and then rejoined P&L. Had some wings & beer and enjoyed the day. Service kind of sucked, but it was pleasant anyway. And I got a free t-shirt. Afterwards I went back to Paul & Luminita's to watch a movie and drink more beer. "Daddy Daycare". It pretty much sucked too, but what can you do? So much for my Saturday, how was your's?

Ellen sent me this yesterday. Said it reminded her of the time we took Lola to the dog park by the Museum of Natural History, where she took on a young, exuberant, but huge golden retriever. Play became rather overwhelming for her at some point so she took off (she kind of looked like one of those cartoon dogs, you know the way their legs start moving so fast, but they don't move forward at first) ran, hell-bent, eyes wild, tail between her legs across the park and dove under the bench where we were sitting (golden retriever in hot pursuit). It was so funny, Ellen and I laughed until we cried.

I had my massage tonight. OMG. I feel so much better. Pain is still there a bit, but it's a fraction of what it was (even from this morning). I've got to do this massage thing more often. Apparently I am a pretty "tight" person. Big surprise.

what. a. slow. day. uuugggggggghhhhhhh....

cock. balls.

Ugh! I need a haircut and I just don't know what to do with it. Last time he cut too many shorter layers into it, so I've been growing it out for a few months, trying to get the layers to a point where I'll have some options. Generally not a fan of short, choppy layers on me. But now my hair is a mess. Growing out a layery cut is not pretty. Somebody please mail me and give me some ideas. My hair is pretty fine, straight and is currently shoulder length.

Julia said:

"Debbie, you have to decide that it''s just not worth fighting because you can''t do anything. Although the LIRR stories do keep me laughing..."

Conversation on the train platform the other morning -- it's pouring down rain.

Me: "Wow! The train is on time. AND it's raining! That never happens.

Random guy waiting next to me: "Yeah! I can't believe it."

OMG! I can't believe that I forgot to mention that The West Wing had a pug on the show last night! I just love the concept of a pug in the Oval Office. heh.

Oh and another thing. One of the most comforting phrases I have heard in a long time is, "your insurance pays for everything". Can't beat that feeling. Can't believe I've waited so long to start using my insurance.

So, last night Chrissy went to Rocco's, the restaurant that is the subject of the NBC & Bravo TV show ( "The Restaurant"). I actually happened to walk by there yesterday as it was about a block away from where I had my chiro appointment. She didn't see Rocco though, which is too bad because he's a little hottie.

I have a few moments between projects so I thought I would blog a bit. My back is still extremely painful so I haven't really wanted to spend any time on the computer outside of work (since of course working at a desk causes the most pain to my back). Anyway, my manager (the same one who was privy to my online dating form) recommended a chiropractor in Chelsea, so I made an appointment. Actually, this chiropractor practices out of a spa. And my insurance pays! heh. So I went to him yesterday. Loved him. (Hmmm, I wonder if he knows any of the Fab 5... ) He did an adjustment for me and then I got to lie on this roller-bed thingy that massaged my back. Kind of like those massage chairs that JoeB and Julia and I sat in for about an hour at the Sharper Image on 57th Street one Saturday in July, only I got to lie down in a darkened room with rain forest sounds, etc. I didn't want to leave. Then he wanted me to make a massage appointment for later this week and another chiropractic appointment for next week. So massage is on Friday after work. My insurance only pays for half an hour though. I wonder if I changed the appt for an hour, if I could pay the difference. I should call them and find out. So the chiro told me that I am a very tense person and that I carry all my tension in my upper body. When I think about how something as simple as a LIRR train being delayed can send me into spasms of anxiety, I realize that he's probably right. Gotta find a way to relax on a regular basis. Living in NYC is not very conducive to a relaxing lifestyle. On the other hand, you have resources like the chiropractor/spa to help you when all else fails.

Still in so much pain with my back injury. It radiates on the left side of my upper back, into my neck and down my left arm. Of course it is the most painful while I am working on the computer. Having a lot of trouble concentrating at work. I wonder if I should try to find a chiropractor or something. I'm a little scared of chiropractors, I've never been to one.

Hey. Did anyone happen to catch the "Fab 5" on Oprah today? It was awesome, although all of this media attention has me worried. I am so afraid that NBC is going to become too involved and ruin it. I noticed that they had already edited out a "penis" comment when they re-aired an episode on the Network.

OMG, I am such an idiot. So, I had recently seen an ad on TV for this online dating service ( www.eharmony.com). Curious, I went to the site over the weekend. While browsing, I saw that it allowed you to take a personality profile. The site then comes back with some initial potential matches. No obligation, so I did the profile, etc. over the weekend because I was bored. Well, this morning I was checking out the site, and I was on the "Matches" section, again out of curiousity, while I was waiting for the machine I need to be deploying to, to come online. When my BOSS bursts into my cubicle, to see if my deployment will now work. I quickly toggle back to my development window, hit deploy, and, wouldn't you know it, deploy toggles me back to the eharmony.com website (the "Matches" section) while it deploys to that window. With my boss standing over my shoulder. Looking at my "matches". While waiting for the developer's login page to come up. UGH! I think I'll crawl under my desk now. Somebody please let me know when it's 5:00 (PM).

GAH! My back hurts! I can't even lean forward at all in my chair. How am I going to sit here for 8 more hours???

So, the demolition last Friday. What an ugly, ugly job. Woke up on Friday morning to a really humid day. It had been relatively nice and cool all week, but of course Friday had to be humid. Just my luck. Put on overalls for the work, helped Carolina & Janos carry some equipment over to the new apartment, went to breakfast at the diner, came back to my building to get some more stuff and ran downstairs to change into shorts. My overalls lasted all of 10 minutes in the heat -- ugh. Anyway, I spent the entire day unscrewing huge pieces of wardrobe (got to use a power drill -- heh. I need one of these!), peeling off wallpaper, breaking up floor tiles, pulling down metal vertical blinds and hauling out tons and tons of materials, refuse, MDF and wooden pieces, etc. from the apartment to the basement. I was filthy and tired and I reinjured or excacerbated my back problem from earlier in the week. but there was beer afterwards. Yeah.

After demolition and showers, etc. we went to Paul & Luminita's for beer and pizza. We were joined there later by Eugene and Michelle. Eugene had just broken up with his girlfriend (well, she broke up with him) and so I think he hit the whiskey a bit hard. I felt bad, think he really had liked this one. And the way she broke up with him was just so wrong. He had just spent $1,000s on a first-class-all-the-way vacation for them (and apparently spent the entire time walking on eggshells around her mood). They had been home for about a week, he spent an entire day with her helping a friend of her's (move or something, can't remember exactly how they were helping him) and she waits until after he gets home to call him on the phone and say, 'oh, by the way, I just want to be friends.' Uh, hello??? You just spent the entire day with him, couldn't you have said it to his face??? Bitch. Anyway, so he was reeling a bit. Everyone else was just wiped out from the day. I went home at around 11 or 11:30 (early for me). Paul & Eugene were very nice to walk me home, because of the number of rapes that have occured in the neighborhood lately. In fact, we walked right past the exact spot where one of them had occured. Paul pointed this out to me. I walk past that spot ALL THE TIME (even walked by there this morning after my jaunt in the Park). Anyway, it was a nice evening. Glad I came home early and didn't drink too much. I spent the rest of the weekend relaxing after Friday's effort. Relaxing, that is, until 5 AM THIS MORNING when my upstairs neighbors started stomping around -- not to mention the kid running around. 5 AM. This. Morning. Bastards.

Because my *&%$#@$^&%$$##%$% upstairs neighbors had me up at 5 AM today, I was up and out of my apartment by 6 to walk and run in the Park. Just Fabulous.

Got to work early too. Not going to work late tonight. No freaking way.

Wow, is it ever windy out there today. Whipping things up into a frenzy. I guess the hurricane is close enough to effect things around here now. Is it "effect" or "affect"? I never know. If you know the answer, please tell me.

Carolina and I went to lunch today (that's how I know about the wind). She shared with me the latest gossip about Michelle. Apparently she and John (the married guy) broke up. What a relief. Although, I'd be surprised if that is the last we hear on this subject. Also, Michelle received her letter approving her to the co-op. She should be able to schedule her closing date now.

Kind of a slow day as I've pretty much finished my application. I have to review it with the project manager (hopefully, later today) which will most likely result in a few adjustments here and there and then it will be on to the next thing. I can't believe how quickly I was able to write this thing. From zero to completed in just about exactly two weeks. Damn, I'm good. heh.

Rant of the Day: Kew Gardens. Or maybe it's the NYC Sanitation Department. Anyway, last week I noticed that the three trash cans located on various corners of our busy commercial and pedestrian intersection (about a block from my apartment) disappeared. This morning I noticed that they have yet to be replaced. In the meantime there is trash EVERYWHERE. I just want to know who the brainiac is who decided that we didn't need any litter baskets on this corner. It's hard enough to live in a crowded urban neighborhood, sharing a small amount of space with dozens of cultures and encouraging people not to litter (many of whom have the natural instincts not to care), but if you make it at all hard for people to do the right thing then you've got total chaos. And what about the people who grudgingly clean up after their dogs??? There are so few of them already, take away the few places around to toss a, er, deposit and you KNOW that those of us who pick up will be vastly in the minority (we may be already anyway). I sent an email to the Dept. of Sanitation about it this morning. Bastards.

I can't believe this. Someone in the vicinity of my cubicle is eating fucking fish. I feel nauseated.

You know, it's a pretty sad thing when you're writing code and a software error comes back and tells you that your syntax is lazy. sheesh.

I made a commitment to Carolina & Janos to take a personal day this Friday to help them with the demolition of their new apartment. What was I thinking? There had better be beer (and lots of it), and that's all I have to say about that.

It ended up being a bit of a useless weekend for me. Friday night went upstairs to Carolina & Janos's and drank too much pinot grigio. I think we watched a movie too, but I can't really remember too much about it, between our conversation and the wine. Oh well, I think I have that same movie somewhere in my Netflix queue, so I'll see it again eventually. So of course I was feeling the effects of the wine on Saturday, not that I had big plans for the day, but still. Michelle happened to stop by after her interview with the co-op board. She said that it went very well, so there should be no problem. I knew that if they gave her an interview, she should be more or less in. After all, why would they want to waste their Saturday morning(s) if her application didn't pass muster? And if there had been anything wrong, the management company would have let her know way before it got this far. And besides, it's not like this is some frou-frou Park Avenue building that is picky about who lives here. This is Kew Gardens, Queens for G-d's sake! Sheesh!

Today Janos was kind enough to come over and help me (re)hang a picture that has been sitting on my wall for over a year. I had previously just hung it on some existing hooks and wanted to center it over my sofa. It's been bugging me. I have a few prints/posters that I still need to have framed, it's just all about money at this point. Ugh. Don't even want to talk about money.

So anyway, I would normally be a bit depressed after such a dull weekend, but right now I am so happy at work, that I don't even mind at all that tomorrow is Monday. I haven't felt this way about my job in years. The fact that I even have this attitude has me excited. So strange. So if everything else in my life is boring and uneventful, then at least this one thing seems okay. For the moment anyway.