Saturday, March 12, 2005

100 Things About Me

1 ) I was a competitive equestrian (hunters, jumpers and eventing) as a kid & teenager.
2 ) I never imagined my adulthood without a horse in it somehow.
3 ) I have a good sense of direction.
4 ) I love to read so much that sometimes I'll stay up all night to finish a book -- even if I have to be somewhere in the morning.
5 ) I'm bad with money (but am getting better).
6 ) I once lived in Key West for a few months when I was in between jobs and didn't know what to do with my life. I was a cocktail waitress there and lived on tips and had the mother of all tans.
7 ) I usually like animals (especially dogs and horses) more than most people.
9 ) I had a hobby when I was a teenager showing our labrador retriever (who I had trained) in obedience shows.
10 ) I like raw clams.
11 ) James Cagney patted me on the head in a super-market when I was a baby. My father thought he was a dirty old man.
12 ) I once dated a married man. It was a mistake.
13 ) I never went to my High School prom.
14 ) I used to fantasize about writing a novel or working in publishing.
15 ) I'm beginning to suspect that I am destined to be alone.
16 ) I ran a marathon once.
17 ) I worry that I will never run another one, or get back to running in any serious or consistent way.
18 ) I have always had trouble with my weight -- even when I was an active kid.
19 ) I never played with dolls -- in fact, as a kid I always loathed babydolls.
20 ) I never want to have children. I used to think I would have them, just because that's what you're "supposed" to do, but anytime I ever really thought about it, I would be filled with complete panic. One day I woke up and realized that I actually don't have to do this. Instant relief.
21 ) I suspect that people think I hate children. I don't. I do, however, hate indulgent and overly-permissive parents.
22 ) I've had a breast reduction.
23 ) I was brilliant in Geometry in High School. For some reason, it just came completely naturally to me. I sometimes wonder what I could have become if there had been readily available advanced Geometry courses I could have taken from there.
24 ) I worry that I haven't found my true "calling" or "passion" in life (even though I like what I do, I don't consider it a "calling").
25 ) Looking back at my childhood and teenage years, I really feel like I was mostly invisible in my family. I am not really very close to my family now.
26 ) My parents never hugged (us) or said, "I love you". Since my mother died (in 2002) my father will end a voice mail message with "I love you", but he never says it in person.
27 ) I'm worried that I'm too attached to my dog.
28 ) I used to hardly ever get angry, but as I get older, everything seems to make me mad.
29 ) I hate to cook.
30 ) I wore braces when I was in Junior High School. The old-fashioned, rail-road kind.
31 ) I used to know how to sail a boat.
32 ) One Summer during my college years, I used to go to the nude (public) beach and lie out topless.
33 ) I don't currently have a driver's license.
34 ) I used to despise cheese in any form (I'm still picky about it).
35 ) I'm jealous of my father's attachment to his wife's family.
36 ) I usually really like my job and am thankful that I've made it to where I am. I am insecure about my abilities sometimes however, and hate office politics.
37 ) I worry that I'll never have enough money.
38 ) I really am very shy. I self-describe myself as socially awkward.
39 ) Most of my male friends in college were gay. I went to a lot of gay bars.
40 ) Noise stresses me out.
41 ) My evil grandmother (my mother's mother) moved in with us when I was about 13. She once told me to my face that I'd never amount to anything.
42 ) I lost my room (and had to share with my sister) after Evil Grandmother moved in. I've been fiercely protective of my privacy ever since.
43 ) Sometimes I think that I'm not a very good friend.
44 ) I secretly like being short.
45 ) I dislike sub-titled movies.
46 ) I've been jealous of my sister my entire life.
47 ) I was the last person to see my mother alive.
48 ) I can have a very sharp & quick wit.
49 ) I wish I knew more about politics.
50 ) I honestly don't think there is a color that looks terrible on me.
51 ) I love maps & atlases.
52 ) There is nothing I enjoy more than a cold beer.
53 ) I hated living with roommates.
54 ) I dislike having my picture taken.
55 ) I used to love to shop. Now I hate it.
56 ) I haven't worn a skirt in months.
57 ) I had my appendix taken out when I was in Sixth Grade and got a massive infection afterwards and had to have a second operation months later. I almost died. I still have a really ugly scar.
58 ) I have trouble trusting people.
59 ) Monkeys creep me out.
60 ) I broke up a Woody Allen movie set once. I was on my way to work, and they were filming a scene around the corner from my apartment on Broadway and West 78th Street (obviously, when I still lived in Manhattan). They were ready to roll and the production assistant stopped me and asked me to either wait, or cross over to the other side of the street (4-lanes of traffic). I said, "F* That! I have to get to work, you have no right to block the sidewalk and refuse to let me through". I pushed him aside and stomped through the set, all the while various people on mega phones had to announce "hold on! We've got someone coming through!" That PA was pissed, but I was even more pissed by being told that I couldn't walk along a public sidewalk. Especially at rush hour. I later watched that movie and enjoyed a secret laugh when "my" scene came on.
61 ) One of my secret pleasures is watching "Queer As Folk" and "The L Word" on Showtime. I am not gay.
62 ) I fantasize almost every day about living somewhere else.
63 ) I like to stay up late, and sleep late on the weekends. I am also not adverse to taking the occasional nap.
64 ) Another guilty TV pleasure: I've watched every "Real World" season (not necessarily every episode) from the very first season on.
65 ) I sometimes suspect that the fact that no one has ever asked me to marry them (whether or not I wanted to marry him back) means that I'm a loser.
66 ) I have a low thyroid (hypo-thyroid). I take medication for it everyday.
67 ) Lately, I've been thinking about death a lot. As in, what happens after?
68 ) I have very strong and muscular legs -- I also build muscle easily.
69 ) I'm trying to pay off my debt. I have a long way to go, but I'm making progress.
70 ) I saw a scene of Jaws being filmed when I was a kid. We got to walk through and explore the set (Quint's house/shack) beforehand and, as we walked through the set, the director (Steven Speilberg) who was sitting there asked me what had happened to my arm (it was broken and in a sling from a fall from a horse). My father told me later that I should have told him that I was bitten by a shark.
71 ) I love the ocean.
72 ) I don't like board games (or any kind of party game).
73 ) I'm really, really glad to have had the opportunity to live on the Upper Westside of Manhattan, even if I couldn't afford to stay any longer.
74 ) I miss having a car.
75 ) I miss having a morning running partner/friend.
76 ) My "good" grandmother (father's mother) was an alcoholic. She told me a number of times that I was her "favorite". Turns out she told both my brother and my sister the same thing.
77 ) I once danced on the bar at Automatic Slims (a bar in the Meat Packing district of Manhattan).
78 ) I have to wash my hair everyday or I go insane.
79 ) I'm really scared about the conservative, righteous and moralistic direction this country has moved (and continues to move) in.
80 ) On 09/11/2001 when walking North through Manhattan through the crowds of people, listening to the Air Force jets flying overhead, I was walking with a few friends who were all coming up to my apartment, since there was no way out of the City at the time. All of us were trying to reach our families through inconsistent cell phone lines. All of my friends' families were hysterical and desperate to hear that they were okay and desperate to know they were not going to be anywhere near danger. When I finally reached my parents, my father said, "oh hi Deb, what's new?" What's NEW? and I said, "well, I just thought you might like to know that I'm okay." My father answered, "yeah, your sister was worried about you when she called." And people wonder why I'm not close to my family.
81 ) I've made a lot of really great friends (life-long friends) through the Internet.
82 ) Sometimes I get lonely, but I'd still rather be alone than in a bad relationship, or with the wrong person.
83 ) I enjoy social occasions, but they drain me. I need some alone time afterwards to recover.
84 ) I once jumped off a sailboat and went skinny dipping in Edgartown Harbor, Martha's Vineyard.
85 ) I used to like to fish when I was a kid.
86 ) I haven't traveled much, but I have been to London, Paris, Amsterdam, Mexico and the Caribbean.
87 ) I wish I could work from home once or twice a week.
88 ) I worry that I've worked at my company too long and have diminished my marketability as a result.
89 ) I feel a lot of loyalty to my company because I was given opportunities there that I wasn't seeing in the working world otherwise.
90 ) I have cousins that feel more like brothers to me, than my actual brother does. I wish I saw them more often.
91 ) When I was a teenager, through college age, I used to hitch-hike to get around during the Summer.
92 ) I love to body-surf in ocean waves.
93 ) I learned to ski on weekly Junior High School trips to a local ski place. I saved up babysitting money when I was about 15 and bought myself my own ski equipment. I joined ski clubs with the "Y" and the High School and managed to learn how to ski relatively competently.
94 ) I once rode a mechanical bull at a college dance party.
95 ) I hate to say "no" to any assignment at work, even if I'm swamped with other projects. I'm afraid to let anything go to someone else to do.
96 ) Years & years ago when I worked for a different company, I told a boss that he was being an "asshole" (he was). He backed down. We actually had a good working relationship, and he had a very bad track record with assistants.
97 ) I love home decorating shows.
98 ) I feel self-conscious in social situations and have trouble flirting. Probably explains why I have trouble meeting men.
99 ) My freshman year in college I was having trouble writing well, even though in my literature classes I did very well in class, always had the analysis right, etc. I never could seem to get my thoughts competently down on paper. I made it my mission to learn to write well and so spent many after-class hours with a sympathetic professor my first semester in school. I never had trouble writing well after that.
100) I love to write and I enjoy blogging, but I feel that I perhaps don't reveal enough of myself in my posts. Perhaps the "100 Things" will help loosen me up more.

No comments: