My Humiliation is Complete

After a quick meeting with my boss about a new web report request that I have to drop everything and do, I followed him up to the pantry to get some water. As I turned away from him to retrieve a water jug to replace the empty one on the water cooler, he clears his throat and says, "uh, Deb? Not to embarrass you or anything, but you have a hole in the back of your pants. In fact they're actually shredded up the backside". I feel around to my ass and, sure enough, my jeans are shredded all the way up my fat ass like a huge run in a stocking. Cheap ASS Old Navy jeans! And of COURSE I'm wearing PINK underwear today! I think I'm just going to go crawl under a rock somewhere now. Sob.