Saturday, January 10, 2009

Massage is Good

Boy, do I love a good massage. Is there anything that seems like more of a decadent, pampering indulgence? I can’t think of one off-hand. It feels like such an indulgence to me that I almost feel guilty when I have one (and I’ve been scheduling one a month for the past few months or so). I am struggling with this feeling of worth, trying to allow myself to think and feel that I am worth stuff like massages. Intellectually I tell myself that it is a “wellness” issue. It helps to keep the blood flowing, works through the stiffness and the kinks and any scar tissue, etc. This becomes especially important as one gets older and things don’t bounce back and recover as quickly. It’s also very important as one tries to be physically active, or become more active. I can tell myself all this and I do believe it, but that emotional thing, truly feeling like I deserve this, well that is a big hurdle for me and one that I still have trouble getting over.

I had a wonderful massage this morning and it was especially satisfying because I had had two tough workouts with my trainer this week and had also done some interval running sessions on my own (not to mention having ridden three times, including one almost fall from my horse). So, there were many parts of my body that were quite sore & tight. My massage therapist commented that my neck was particularly bad -- as were my hamstrings, and (I think) quads. So I was very happy to have had the massage to loosen up all these areas, aid in recovery from the week’s activity and ready everything for more work for the coming week. I just wish that I didn’t feel so guilty about it, I really need to believe in my heart that I deserve this. I guess it comes down to that whole “self-love” thing, everything seems to come back to that.

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